


Disposable Teens

by Natural_Selexion



Category: Columbine - Fandom
Genre: Columbine, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 77,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24091234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natural_Selexion/pseuds/Natural_Selexion
Summary: Just read it!!!
Comments: 47
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

I had never felt more relieved in my life when we finally pulled up to the house that was now my home. We had been in this car for the last 27 hours. My brother in-law Mell driving, my sister Marie riding shotgun, and me and my 3 month old niece Andrea in the back. I'm sure they were more relieved than me considering this was their second 27 hour long drive. They had come to my parents funerals and packed me up to come with them. I'm sure it's going to be a major culture shock for me coming from a small town in Alabama to Littleton Colorado. I had to leave everything I've known for the last 17 years behind. I'm so nervous going into a new school as a senior not knowing a soul. After my sister put the baby down for the night she took me to my room. We walked down the stairs leading to the basement and she opened the door at the bottom of the stairs and I was in shock. It was like a small apartment. There was a couch and TV, a bathroom with a separate door, and then what was to be my room. A single bed, a dresser with a mirror, and a closet. The walls were bare and she had put a hot pink bed spread on the bed. I began to realize she didn't know me at all. It made sense really seeing as how we are 10 years apart. She had already moved out by the time I was 8. After she checked to make sure I was okay she gave me a longer than usual hug and walked back up the stairs. I threw myself on the bed trying to calm my racing heart. When I would close my eyes all I could see were my parents laying in those awful caskets. The wreck had happened almost a month ago but the pain is still so raw. I eventually dosed off.  
I woke the next day and looked at the clock beside my bed. 1:00 in the afternoon. I guess I needed a good night's sleep. I pulled myself out of bed and to one of my many suitcases of clothes to dig for something presentable. I finally decided on a pair of distressed Jean shorts, a red tank, and of course my signature converse Chuck Taylor all stars. After showering and throwing my clothes on I walked out of the door in the basement that leads to the backyard. The sun was hot as hell in July in Colorado. Sitting on the steps I pulled out a cigarette and just as I was about to light it I heard voices coming from the house next door. Two girls were sitting on towels in the back yard. Not wanting to be a creep I got up to walk back inside when I heard one of them yell "Hey! You must be y/n!"  
Not really prepared to interact with strangers just yet, I put on the fakest smile I can find and walk their way.  
"Yep. That's me."   
She stands up as I get closer and walks towards me   
"I'm Robyn. Marie told me that you would be coming to stay with them! It's so nice to finally meet you!"   
She seems pretty nice. The other girl offers up her hand for me to shake  
" I'm Michelle."  
She says shyly. We spent the next few minutes with them asking me questions about where I'm from, how old I am, the things I'm into. I'm shocked to find out that me and Robyn actually have a lot in common.   
"Hey I know I just met you guys and all but I was thinking about trying to find the mall or something later. I need tons of posters to fill the blank walls in my room. Care to join or just point me in the right direction?"  
Robyn smiling from ear to ear   
" yes! We are meeting up with some friends at the mall later this afternoon so that's perfect! "  
After she tells me to come back over at 4 to head to the mall, I go back into my room and start unpacking. Might as well make myself comfortable. I'm here until May at least.   
* * * * 

I had my stereo blasting so loud that I didn't even hear the knocking on my bedroom door. Marie popped her head in  
"please God turn that shit down. Robyn is hear saying you are supposed to ride with her to the mall?"   
Fuck! I quickly threw my Chucks back on and ran up the stairs. Robyn was standing in her driveway waiting for me.  
" Hey! Sorry about that. I was putting all my shit up and lost track of time."   
She replied  
" it's totally fine. Michelle is meeting us there so it's just the two of us!"  
We talked like we had known each other forever on the 20 minute drive to the mall. When we pulled up the parking lot was packed.   
"You will learn pretty fast that there isn't much to do around here. Thursday afternoon and the mall is covered up"  
she laughed. I slung my mini backpack over my shoulders as we walked. As we entered the mall I was overwhelmed with all of the people and noise. The mall in my hometown has like 10 stores and is always a ghost town. We walked into a arcade to the left that was full of teenagers.   
"Robyn! Over here!"   
As we are walking towards the guy that called out to her I notice that there is a pretty big group. 5 guys and Michelle who I met earlier.   
" This is y/n Robyn's new neighbor. She will be joining our group of misfits!"   
Michelle said smiling. One by one I was introduced. There was Nate, Mike ( who seemed super excited to shake my hand), Brooks, Dylan ( who didn't seem to be interested in meeting me at all), and Eric.  
"We've been waiting on you guys forever. Let's go get some food before I starve to death"  
"Mike you are so dramatic"   
Robyn says as we head towards the food court. Everyone scatters and goes to whatever place they are eating at. I immediately walk towards the pizza counter. I place my order and turn to walk to the end to pay and I see Eric standing there. He looks up at me with a crooked smile on his face. "Out of all the places here you pick pizza?"  
Not sure if he is being a dick or not I reply  
" uh well so did you so?"  
When the food comes he leads the way to the big table where everyone is sitting. The only 2 seats left are at the end of the tables facing each other so I mentally prepare myself to eat lunch facing this guy who I can't decide is a dick or not. Everyone else is laughing and being super loud while I sit quietly after I finish my food not really knowing how I fit in here. I notice Eric doing the same. He looks up and catches me looking at him and our eyes lock. His eyes are the prettiest hazel color I have ever seen. That's when I get snapped out of it by a hand waving in my face  
"heyy earth to y/n. Don't you want to go get posters?"  
I quickly jumped up like I had just been caught in trouble by my parents. I throw my backpack over my shoulders and we all start to walk when I hear a voice rather close to my ear   
"I like your style"  
I turn my head and see Eric there with that crooked ass smile on his face.  
" Uhh thanks"  
I reply looking away shyly. After I have found at least enough posters to cover one wall we all say our goodbyes in the parking lot.  
" Hey after bowling tomorrow night let's go back to my house! My parents will be out!" Robyn says.  
"Dylan bring the vodka!"  
"Of course he will." Eric replies. On the ride home Robyn asks me how I felt about everyone. It's in that moment when I realize I didn't actually pay attention to anyone but him. His eyes and that crooked smile. Robyn is still talking away even though I never responded   
"well that's the crew! I hope they didn't scare you away."  
Far from it.   
"We usually go bowling every Friday night because like I said there isn't much to do around here. You can ride with me if you want! Just be ready at 6."  
For the first time in a long time I felt excited about something. Like really excited. I reassured her that I was definitely not scared off by her friends and that I would be ready by 6 the next day. As we pull up in her driveway she says  
"Awesome! Well I guess all I have left to say is welcome to the crew! Class of '99 is gonna be the bomb!".


	2. Friday

I'm supposed to babysit Andrea today while Marie works because her normal sitter canceled. I don't really mind because it takes my mind off of my nerves about tonight. Plus I really like spending time with the little shit. She went down for her nap around 12 and I walked out the front door, baby monitor in hand, for a smoke. Robyn is getting out of her car and sees me and waves walking my way.  
" Hey what's up! Ya ready for bowling?"  
"Actually no not really. I'm not good at it. Like not even a little bit."  
She dies laughing and replies "girl me either! I just go for the food, and uh.."  
I look at her with my brow raised,  
"And uh what? Alright who are you crushing on?" I say laughing.  
"Shhh you can't say a word if I tell you! And I have something over you to so I know you won't!" She says as she sticks her tongue out at me.  
I can feel my cheeks burning.  
"I have no idea what you are talking about."  
I say lying through my teeth.  
"Oh whatever. I saw you starring at Eric like he was a piece of cake you wanted to devour!" She laughs.  
"Stoooop" I reply hiding my face in my hands.  
"Alright I will. But until you admit it I'm not telling you either!" She says as she walks away towards her house.  
I watch her go shaking my head as I hear the baby start to stir. I had no idea anyone else saw me looking at him. I feel my heart start to race as I think about to way that he and I had locked eyes.  
My sister came home at 3 and relieved me from baby duty so I went to dig through my closet looking for something perfect. I stepped back wondering why I cared? I didn't usually but this felt different. I decided to call in back up and went to knock on Robyn's door to ask for help. She came to the door and stood with her arms crossed and huge smile on her face while I quickly blurted out that I needed girl help.  
"Okay. I'll help you. But you have to admit it. Say it out loud." She said smiling like a idiot.  
"FINE! Eric is cute as shit. He has the prettiest eyes I have ever seen on a guy. And I'm excited as fuck to be around him again. There are you happy? Now come help me!!"  
I basically screamed it all out at her because if I didn't say it then it probably wasn't gonna happen.  
"Let's go!" She says laughing hysterically.  
"I hate you" I say laughing.  
After 2 hours of digging through my closet I end up settling on my Jean shorts, a plain tight fitting black shirt, and my Chucks of course. I could have done this myself but it was easier having Robyn's distraction none the less.  
We arrived at the bowling alley around 6:30. Everyone was standing at the front door waiting on us.  
"You couldn't be on time to save your life" Mike says while poking Robyn's side.  
Hmmm I wonder if it's him? I mean, not my taste but to each their own I guess. Eric is standing closest to the door with his hands on his sides looking impatient. I say hi to everyone with him being last and as I walk closer to him it feels like my heart may beat out of my chest.   
"Hey Eric" I force myself to say.  
"What's up" he says as he opens the door and walks in.  
Well alright. Guess he is a dick. I'm feeling super annoyed that I was so excited to be around him again and it seems like he could care less. Robyn comes up beside me  
"Hey don't worry about that. Eric has these weird ass moods. He will loosen up eventually."  
I try to shrug it off and have fun but between me sucking at bowling and him acting like that it'simpossible.  
At one point I hear Robyn laughing weirdly loud and turn to see her talking to the really tall one. I can't think of his name for shit. She reaches up and puts her hand on his shoulder while she laughs at whatever he had said and it hit me. It's him. She can't deny it. She looks over and sees me watching them and smiling like crazy and walks my way.  
"I know your secret" I sing at her.  
She sings back " you tell mine and I'll tell yours!"  
As she walks towards Eric. I jumped up and grabbed her arm and yell out "NO!" Before I realized what I was doing. Everyone stopped and looked at us like we were crazy and we both burst out laughing.  
As I'm bending down in the chair putting my own shoes back on to get ready to leave I glance up and see Eric sitting directly across from me and once again our eyes lock. But this time I pull mine way and immediately stand to leave. On the car ride to Robyn's I can't help but vent to her about my frustrations.   
"Can he not carry a conversation or something? Like what is his deal?"  
She lets me finish my rant as she drives and as we are pulling in her driveway she says  
"Eric is one of the deepest most complicated and moody people I have ever met. I've known him for years now and I still can't figure him out. But him and Dylan are best friends so they are pretty much a package deal."  
Dylan. That was his name.  
"Oh yeah speaking of Dylan." I say wiggling my eyebrows at her.  
"Yeah let's not". She says getting out and closing her door.  
• * * * * *   
Robyn's house was laid out a lot like mine. Except her basement wasn't closed off in rooms. It was wide open and had a couple of old couches and chairs where her parents had made a spot for her and her friends to hang out. I helped her carry some drinks and snacks down to the basement as the boys walked in the outside door. Dylan with vodka and orange juice in hand.  
"Who's ready to get wasted!?" He says as he walks in followed by Eric, Mike, Brooks, and Nate. Michelle's parents were pretty strict so she had to go straight home after bowling. Dylan poured us all cups full of vodka and OJ as we sat around laughing and talking about nothing in particular. Eric was leaning up against one of the big posts coming down from the ceiling and I couldn't help but watch him. He went back and forth from his hands on his sides to picking at his hands. He didn't seem to be present. Two drinks in and I was feeling pretty buzzed so I stood up to go outside for a smoke. Robyn decided to join me even though she isn't a smoker. We were sitting on a bench together silently when out of nowhere she says   
"Y/n truth or dare" while nudging me with her elbow.   
"No way." I say laughing at her.  
"But what if I tell you what the two are before you pick?" She replies. After thinking about it for a minute I say  
"Let me hear em"  
"No you have to agree first. You absolutely have to pick one of the 2 if I tell you."  
"I'm gonna need about 3 more of these drinks before I commit to anything you are about to say" I laugh.  
"Okay well I will say them and 3 drinks from now you do one. Deal?"  
"All I can say to that is we'll see." I say nervously.  
"Alright" she says as she turns my way. "Your dare is going to be that you have to walk straight up to Eric and tell him that you think he has the prettiest eyes you have ever seen on a guy" she says while making quotation marks with her fingers.   
"Yeah that's not happening."  
She smiles looking devious and says "okay then. I'm going to ask you out loud who in the room has the prettiest eyes you've ever seen! And you have to tell the truth!" She is laughing hysterically and I can't find a single thing about this funny.   
"I can't do either of those Robyn. He obviously wants nothing to do with me. He hasn't voluntarily spoken a single word to me in the last 4 hours."  
"Who are we talking about?". I hear the voice before I can see who it is. As they get closer I see Dylan with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. I can feel my cheeks burning like they are on fire. Robyn bursts out laughing again and I look at her with pleading eyes silently begging her to shut up but I think she is way more drunk than I am.  
"Are you guys okay? Who the fuck are you talking about" Dylan asks looking confused.  
"Y/n has a crush on someone here and she is being a dork about it" Robyn blurts out. I can feel the horror on my face as she stands up laughing.  
"Hey asshole do you not remember in your drunken state that I have something on you to!? You may want to stop right there!" I say scared to death that she is going to tell him.  
She walks up to Dylan and without another thought stands on her tippy toes and grabs his face and kisses him right on the lips. His eyes look like they are about to pop out of his head and I can imagine mine do to as she says   
"I don't care anymore. I'm drunk. And y/n has the hots for Eric" as she walks back inside.  
Me and Dylan stand there looking at each other in shock for a few seconds before he starts to laugh and runs his hand through his hair.   
"Well that was fucking something" he says looking behind him. He takes a step closer to me and says   
"And he definitely wants something to do with you" as he turns and leaves me standing outside in the dark with my heart racing.


	3. Eat me, drink me

I stood outside a little longer trying to collect my nerves before I walked back inside. As soon as I opened the door to walk in Robyn was standing there with another cup in her hand pushing it towards me.  
"Drink up!" She says laughing.  
She must have filled Dylan in on everything because now it's like they have a inside joke. Finding ways to say "eyes" in everything they say. Everyone is looking at them like they are crazy. Except for me. I would love nothing more than to leave this place and walk next door and put myself out of my misery. Everyone is standing right out the back door bullshitting and smoking except for me. I stayed put on the couch wallowing in my embarrassment and babysitting my drink in silence when Eric walks in and sits next to me on the couch. Uncomfortably close. I can't make myself look at him so I nervously take a drink.   
"This is kinda lame" he says looking at the floor.  
"Eh, I guess it's better than sitting in my room alone" I reply before I take another drink.  
Robyn pops her head in looking at us with a devious smile and says "hey y/n you ready for drink number 4?".  
That's when I come to the realization that she isn't gonna let this go. I'm not sure why this makes me so nervous. It's not like I've never talked to someone I've had a crush on before. But this just feels.. different. Without letting myself think about it for another second I throw my drink back and chug the rest and turn to look at Eric and blurt out   
"You have the prettiest eyes out of any guy I have ever seen" and I got up and quickly walked to the bathroom dying on the inside.

Eric's pov

I don't know why I even came to this shit. I knew how it was gonna go. Y/n is seriously the girl of my dreams and I see the way she looks at me. But I can't let myself go there. Me and V have just now agreed on our plan and it's set in stone. I can't let some girl fuck that all up. But God when she looks at me like that. It's hard to be so mean to someone like that. And I know Dylan senses it. He knew from the minute I met her that I wanted her. Everyone here is so drunk they probably wouldn't even notice if I just left honestly.  
"Hey man I've got to talk to you now. Come here" Dylan says running up to me. Before I even have time to get over to him Robyn runs up and blurts out   
"Y/n has the hots for you big time. Don't tell her I told you or I will hate you forever!" And she walks away from me fast as shit as y/n walks in.   
"Hey that's what I was gonna say" Dylan says with a frown.  
He has got to be drunk. He almost looks.. excited?   
Everyone went outside to talk and smoke and I realized she wasn't out here. Looking back in I see her sitting on the couch alone. My body just took over and I started walking without even realizing I was. I sat down beside her and tried to small talk but it just felt awkward. All of a sudden she slammed the rest of her drink down and turned to me and said the words I will never forget coming out of her mouth. I went into shock. I could feel the heat on my cheeks. As I starred into the direction she ran into.  
"Oh shit. She actually did it" I hear Robyn say behind me.   
"Yeah she did" Dylan says laughing.  
"Dude you should see your face" he says laughing harder.

Y/n pov

I stood in the bathroom panicking for way longer than I should have. So wtf do I do now I though to myself as I looked in the mirror. I'm way to drunk for this. I decide to grab my backpack and try to slip out without anyone noticing. My backpack is at the top of the stairs. If I go out the front door no one will see me. I quietly open the door and quickly start up the stairs when I feel a presence behind me. I stop at the top and turn around to see Eric standing there.   
"So you are just gonna say some shit like that and run away before I can even respond?" He says with a grin.  
"Yeah about that, I think I drank to much. Can we forget that happened and just let me go home? Please?" I say pretty much begging.  
"Not a chance". He says still grinning at me.  
"I mean, I cant stop you from leaving but I ain't forgetting about shit. And I'm at least walking you home."   
I can feel the embarrassment radiating off of me so I just turn and keep walking with him following.  
We walked in silence through Robyn's front yard to my backyard. When we got to the basement door I said without turning to look at him "thanks for walking with me. Have a good night."  
As I opened the door he reached his hand up and shut it before I could go in. I turned around to look at him and when I did his hand came up and he rubbed my cheek with his thumb. I was frozen in place when he bent down and kissed my cheek softly and said   
"You have a good night to"  
He turned to walk away and before I could think about what I was doing I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to me and kissed him right on the lips as hard as I could. He tensed up so I pulled away and as soon as I did he came back with his lips on mine again a lot more relaxed. I felt his arms go arm my back as I reached up to put my hand on the back of his head to pull him in closer. He parted my lips with his tongue and explored my mouth. This being my first real kiss I had no idea what I was doing and started to laugh. I felt him smile into my lips as he pulled away resting his forehead on mine.   
"See ya later y/n" he said as he turned to walk away.  
I walked into my room and threw myself on the bed smiling like a idiot. I can't believe that just happened.


	4. Fifty Shades of Embarassment

Eric's pov

I'm so conflicted. I don't even know how to feel. I'm so confused about everything that happened tonight that I can't even think straight. What the hell was that shit with Dylan. After that day at the mall he made it pretty clear that he thinks I should keep my distance from y/n, but then tonight it was like he was.. encouraging it? Maybe it was because he was drunk. But I do know that I want to be around her more. She makes me feel.. different. And she actually likes me to. Shit blows my mind. I really wish our first kiss hadn't been while she was shitfaced. What if she doesn't even remember it? I got in my car without even going back in. There's nothing for me there. I doubt they even notice I'm gone. I parked in my drive way and slipped in the door quietly going straight to my room. I threw myself on my bed facedown. I couldn't get the image out of my head of her pulling me back to her. Fuck. At least school starts back in a week. Then I won't have as much time to think about her. School brings a whole new world of problems. Hurry up April.

Monday  
Y/n pov

I woke up way earlier than I would have liked to. As soon as I open my eyes the thoughts start. It had been 3 days since the party at Robyn's. I have been keeping to myself the best I can because I don't want to have to talk about what happened. I can't believe I let myself get drunk and kiss someone I barely know. I told Robyn that I got sick and walked home. She must have believed me because she didn't ask any questions. I'm so embarrassed of what Eric may think of me. I don't even want to face him. But it's only a week until school starts and I'm sure that will be inevitable. I roll out of bed and throw some clothes on and walk into the kitchen for some coffee. Marie is at the counter feeding the baby and she smiles at me  
"I was wondering if you were gonna get up in time to tell us bye."  
Shit. I forgot they are going out of town for some military thing.  
"My bad. It's been a .. weird couple of days I guess."  
"Y/n you know you can talk to me. I know I'm not mom but I can be a good listener." She says.  
I end up spilling out everything that had happened from meeting Eric, the way it made me feel when he looked at me, to everything that happened at Robyns.  
She hugged me and the only advice she gave was  
" Slow down sis. Don't rush this stuff. You are young. When you find the one to do allthese firsts with you will just know."  
Seemed like shitty advice to me. And I couldn't help this nagging feeling telling me I did know. It's him. But it sounds so crazy.  
I watched them back out of the driveway and decided to head into the living room where their computer is to sign into AIM. I hadn't been on since I left Alabama. I answered several people that had messaged me to let them know I was okay and update them. When I was finished I got curious.. I wonder if Eric is on AIM. I couldn't for the life of me think of his last name to look him up so I searched for Robin. Luckily she was on.   
Y/n: heyy girl!   
RA99: hey! I was wondering about you! Thought we may have scared you off!  
Y/n: I'm just.. can I tell you something in privacy? I just need to get it out there and see if it makes me feel better.  
RA99: umm of course!  
Y/n: we kissed. Me and Eric. When I left your house Friday night..  
RA99: !!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Y/n: stop.. I'm so embarrassed. I was pretty drunk and I feel like I made a complete idiot out of myself.   
RA99: girl. The guys were over yesterday and Eric asked about you at least 5 times and Everytime we walked outside I swear he was looking for you!  
Y/n: I don't even know what to say to that. I don't know how I can face him any time soon. I would like to talk to him though.  
RA99: well.. he is on right now. Message him.  
Y/n: I cannot do that. Like seriously cannot make myself do that.  
RA99: okay :)  
Y/n: ??  
Y/n: Robyn??

Where the hell did she go? Like just in the middle of a conversation she leaves me hanging. I get up from the computer and start to sign out when I get another message.

Rebdomine: hey(:  
Y/n: hey?  
Rebdomine: don't act like you don't know who this is. Or are you drunk again hehe  
Y/n: oh gawd. I'm so embarrassed. I don't even know what to say.  
Rebdomine: how about hi?  
Y/n: hi :)  
Rebdomine: so you wanted to talk to me?  
Y/n: yeah.. I just wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have drank so much. And then I shouldn't have grabbed you like that and.. yeah. I'm just really sorry and embarrassed.  
Rebdomine: yeah I agree. You shouldn't have grabbed me by my favorite shirt. You could have stretched it. But never ever ever apologize for that kiss.

I can feel my cheeks getting red. I had to read it over and over before I could even respond. 

Y/n: well then I will apologize if it sucked. I haven't had much practice..  
Rebdomine: I was your first kiss?  
Y/n: yepp  
Rebdomine: wow  
Y/n: yeah. Wow..  
Rebdomine: you were mine to(:  
Y/n: oh whatever. You sure seemed to know what you were doing.  
Rebdomine: did I? That's good to know. So you're saying you like kissing me?  
Y/n: maybe...   
Rebdomine: what are you doing Friday?  
Y/n: no plans. My sister is out of town so I have the house to myself   
Rebdomine: so party at your house right?  
Y/n: that's not the worst idea..  
Rebdomine: hehe I'll spread the word  
Y/n: we'll see. Ttyl.

That boy makes my heart go crazy. I may be in trouble here..  
********

Thursday evening

Robyn and I had been laying on a blanket in my backyard for hours talking. She told me that all the normals are planning on hanging out at my house tomorrow night and that she will bring some snacks and stuff.  
"So have you and Dylan talked about that kiss" I say smiling at her.  
"You bet we did. Why do you think he has been at my house almost everyday since!" She says wiggling her eyebrows at me.  
" Woah! So are you guys like.. together?"  
"I wouldn't say that. He wants to keep it hush hush for some reason. I'm hoping it's just because he is shy and not because he is embarrassed of me." She says.  
"Surely not girl! I'm so happy for you for real!"  
" So what about you and Mr. Harris?"  
"Oh gawd Robyn you make him sound like a old man!" I say laughing loudly.  
"I honestly have no idea. We talked online for a while but I haven't really heard from him since. He is so hard to read."  
" That is a understatment!" She laughs.  
As the sun starts to go down we say goodnight and I head inside. I'm so glad I made a friend like her before school starts. Now if I can get through tomorrow night without making a idiot out of myself again maybe things will be alright here.


	5. Heart Shaped Glasses

Friday

As I'm cleaning up the basement I can't help but think about what it's going to be like to be around Eric again. I haven't seen him since we kissed. I hope it won't be awkward. I look at the time and it's 5:45. Robyn said she was coming over around 7 and that everyone would be piling in soon after. I hurried and ran out to the garage for the folding table. I quickly pushed the couch over and set the table up for beer pong. Only I imagine with Dylan coming it will be more like vodka pong. But not for me. I intend to stay stone cold sober for this one. I grab some shorts and my NIN shirt and hop in the shower before Robyn gets here. Just as I'm getting out I can hear knocking on the door. I quickly wrap my towel around me and swing the door open expecting Robyn to be standing there but instead I come face to face with Eric.   
"Shit! I thought you were Robyn! Can you give me like 2 seconds to get dressed?" I ask without looking in his eyes.  
"If I have to" he says.  
When I manage to look at him his eyebrows are raised and he has that crooked smirk on his face.  
"Oh gawd stop it" I say as I close the door in his face and rush to put my clothes on.  
When I go back to open the door I find Eric and Robyn this time with the latter laughing hysterically at what just happened.  
"Yeah. Great. Hahaha. So funny" I say mockingly.  
Just as they are walking in Dylan and the rest of the crew show up. The night started out pretty good. I could feel the awkwardness between me and Eric though. We both seemed to be keeping our distance from each other. At one point I walked upstairs to get some more ice out of the freezer. Before I could turn around I felt him walk up behind me.  
"So was I really your first kiss?" He says quietly super close to my ear. It sent chills all over me.   
"Yes you were." I replied. Feeling courage boiling up inside of me I turned around facing him inches from his face.  
"You wanna be my second to?"  
He looks at me shocked for a split second.  
"Are you drunk again?" He asks smiling.  
"Not even a little".   
Without another word he pushed me against the freezer and pressed his lips to mine. Just like the first time he slowly parted my lips with his tongue. I followed his lead as the kiss went on. He bit my bottom lip and I felt a moan escape my lips.  
"Damn woman. Better stop that shit" he said as he came back in to kiss me again. He broke the kiss and tilted my head back to place small kisses up my neck to my ear. When he lightly bit my earlobe I felt sparks of electricity all through my body.  
"Mmm so you like that spot huh?"   
I silently shook my head not able to form words.  
He went back to kissing my neck as I hear someone clear there throat. Eric immediately jumped back away from me as I stood frozen in place.  
"Uh we were waiting on ice" Dylan says looking embarrassed.  
"Oh shit I forgot!" I say as I grab the ice trays and start to head back to the basement.  
"I guess you got distracted" Dylan says aiming it towards Eric.   
********  
Around midnight some of the guys started heading out. The only ones left were me, Robyn, Dylan, and Eric. Everyone agreed we should watch a movie so I just walked over and pushed play. The Craft. One of my favorites. Dylan was sitting in one of the chairs and Robyn had made a pallet out of pillows and blankets and they seemed to be into the movie. Not me. I was too busy taking turns glancing at Eric. When he thought I wasnt looking he would look. Vice versa. Slowly but surely he moved from one end of the couch over to me. Finding my courage again I reached over and lightly drug my fingernails up and down the underside of his arm. When I looked up at him he was looking at me with the most intense look I have ever seen. His eyes were almost black. I leaned over to whisper in his ear  
"Wanna sneak away?" I ask feeling shy.  
"Absolutely" he replies.  
As quietly as I can I stand and walk towards my room on the other side of the basement. A few seconds later he follows and shuts the door lightly.   
"They totally saw us" I say laughing.  
"Do you care? Because I don't care". He replies with the same intense look.  
He comes towards me so fast my head feels dizzy when he gets to me. He goes straight for my neck again and all I can do is throw my head back and bite my lip to silence a moan. He walks me backwards towards my bed and I push him away before I ever touch it.  
"Eric I am not having sex with you. Just so you know" I say without thinking. He looks at me like I just killed his dog.  
"Woah I didn't mean like never. I meant right now. I've only known you a few weeks. I'm not gonna give myself to someone that I'm not sure about." He looks a little less tramatized.  
" I get that. Completely."  
He sits down on my bed and I sit beside him.  
"Are you mad at me." I ask feeling super insecure.  
"Never. I'm just gonna have to make you sure about me" he says with a smile. I have a feeling that won't be very hard for him.  
When we walked out of my room I was so scared that Robyn and Dylan were going to be making fun of us or something but to my surprise they were nowhere to be found.  
"I guess they went home" I say.  
"I probably should to then" he says. He bends and gives me a short peck on the lips before he walks out the door without another word.


	6. Man That You Fear

The next day Robyn and I headed off to the mall to do some clothes shopping for school. after we had gotten all we wanted we headed towards the food court. Standing in line talking to Robyn I see her mouth go up in a big smile and she quietly says   
"Look behind you"  
I turn to see Eric walking our way.  
"Hey you! Are you stalking me?" I ask jokingly.  
"Absolutely" he says with a smirk.  
"Nah Robyn said earlier that you guys would be here. I decided to come and see if you wanted to hang tonight?"  
"I have a thing with my parents" Robyn says and before she can finish Eric interrupts  
"I wasn't talking to you. I was asking y/n if she wanted to hang out with me. Like just the two of us".  
"Rude" Robyn replied laughing.  
" Uhh sure. What did you have in mind?" I say.  
"Wanna come to my house? We can order a pizza and rent a movie or something. My parents will be there" he adds after he sees the way I'm looking at him nervously.   
"Sounds good. Call me and let me know what time." I pull a pen out of my backpack and grab his hand and write my number on it.  
"This is like some movie shit right here!" Robyn says grinning.  
When we get back I run straight down the stairs into my room and start trying on clothes. I had found the cutest summer dress on clearance and just had to buy it even though Robyn said it was against school dress code. It's a black form fitting t shirt dress with white strips on the arms. It will look great with my Chucks. I decide thats the one and wait by the phone impatiently biting my nails. Shit I'm glad his parents will be home. I mean I hate meeting parents but I don't know how much longer I can fight off these feelings I get when I'm around him.

Eric's pov

V is so pissed at me. He keeps saying I need to leave her alone and find someone easy. That he only told me that shit at Robyns so that I would make a move and get it over with. But fuck that. I've only got 9 more months on this miserable planet and I intend to spend them with her. Fuck the rest. I'm gonna do this shit right. But gawd I know it will hurt her if she falls for me and let's me in. When she finds out what I did and that I'm not alive anymore. But I can't think about that. I want to be with her every second I can while I'm still here. What V doesn't know won't hurt him. As I'm headed towards to phone to call y/n it rings.   
"Hello"  
"Hey Reb. You wanna go do some stupid shit tonight? I'm bored." It's Dylan.  
"Uhh hey V. Listen I'm not feeling that great. I think I'm gonna stay in." He knows I'm lying.  
" Yeah whatever man. I'll see ya later."  
Fuck. I can make anyone believe anything. I'm like.. the best bullshitter ever. But V always sees through my bullshit. I imagine I'll hear about this for awhile. I dial her number and she answer on the first ring.  
"Wow that was fast".  
"Yeah I guess I could have let it ring at least twice" she says laughing nervously.  
" If it's cool I'm gonna head your way"  
"I'm ready!" She says which makes my heart beat faster. I'm so fucked.

Y/n pov

I see his little grey car pull in front of my house and try to calm my nerves. He walks to the door and knocks. I wait as long as possible this time trying to play it cool. When I open the door he takes his shades off and looks me over with his brows raised and head to the side.  
"Good Lord woman. You are making this impossible" he says smiling.  
"You don't look too bad yourself" I say as I walk passed him. He has on black bdu pants with a white t-shirt and a black and white button up on top. Hat on backwards and now his shades back on. Fine as fuck I think to myself and laugh.  
"What's so funny?"  
" I can't tell you" I say smiling as we walk towards his car.  
"I feel like you should though" he says looking concerned.  
Come on courage don't fail me now!  
Instead of walking to the passenger side I follow him to his door and pin him against it before he can open in. I look up at him and lick my lips.  
"I was thinking to myself that you are fine as fuck. And I promise you that you do not want me to tell you every thought I have." I say as I turn and walk to the passenger side and get in. It takes him a minute to join me but when he finally sits down he says  
"Yeah I think I do want you to. Because I intend on telling you every thought I have about you. You wanted to get to know me. Well here is this Eric."  
I look at him confused as he starts the car and heads to the movie store.   
" What do you mean by this Eric?"  
"I mean that in kinda fucked up. I can go from happy to mad as fuck just like that" as he snaps his fingers.  
"I'll keep that in mind" I say feeling a little nervous.  
At the movie store we have the hardest time agreeing on a movie. This is when I find out he hates Disney movies.  
"Well that's a deal breaker. Sorry. You can take me home now" I say dramatically.  
"You can't be fucking serious. They are all the same." As we are having this argument a group of guys walk in and Eric grabs the first movie he can reach and walks towards the counter.  
"Come on let's just get out of here" he says looking nervous.  
"Hey look it's fag one! Where's fag two? Don't tell me you guys broke up?" One of them says directing it toward Eric. I start to open my mouth and say something but Eric has finished paying and is practically dragging me out the door.  
"What the hell was that about?" I ask as we get in the car.  
"Just drop it okay. That's why columbine high school is the shittiest place in existence and I can't wait to never walk those halls again." He says with rage pouring out of him. I decide to not say anything else about it because frankly his anger is terrifying. I'm starting to wonder if I should just have him take me home but I'm scared to say it.   
"I'd like you to meet this Eric. He is a angry little mother fucker. He's full of hate and he loves it. You wanted to get to know me so here you go. Are you done with me now? Do you want me to leave you alone?" He starts to drive faster as he gets louder and louder.   
I feel like I should be begging him to take me home. To never speak to me again. But in that moment I decide that I'm a little fucked up to because his anger is making me.. hot. Like really hot. When pull into blacksjacks pizza to pick up our food and as soon as he puts the car in park I get on my knees in my seat and grab his face and look into his eyes  
"I kinda like the angry Eric." I say as I kiss him hard. He tries to pull back at first but I won't let him so he gives in. When we finally come up for air he has that crooked smirk on his face.  
"Thats one way to snap me out of it" he says. I sit back down in my seat and fix my dress so we can get out.  
"But I was kinda serious..."  
He looks at me with his brows raised and says   
"Freak" as he gets out of the car. I can't help but think he maybe right about that as I hurry to catch up with him.


	7. I Put A Spell On You

Dylan's pov

How stupid can he be. I mean, he didn't know I picked up a shift tonight but still. I knew he was lying the minute the words came out of his mouth. They look like a happy fucking couple. That was not the plan. He just wanted to get laid before we go NBK. He sure seems to be putting in a lot of fucking effort just to get laid. Deep down I know I shouldn't be this mad about it. The more time I've spent the Robyn the more I wonder if I may be catching feelings to. But he doesn't even know about anything all that. As far as he's concerned we are still just friends. I wouldn't rub the shit in his face like he is doing me. As they get closer to the door I don't even know how to play this off.

Eric's pov

There isn't a doubt in my mind right now that y/n was made for me. After seeing those fucking assholes at the movie store it relit my fire for NBK. I knew I needed to scare her off. But I swear I think if I had tried to fuck her right then that she would have let me. She likes the angry Eric? Nobody in their right mind like me angry. So she's crazy. But fuck it so am I. I'm back in this. As I open the door of blackjacks I freeze. Why is he here? He wasn't supposed to work tonight. Fuck.

Y/n pov

"Hey Dylan!" I say smiling. He just stands behind the counter and looks at me with a blank expression on his face. I look over at Eric to see what's up and he is doing the same thing. Arms crossed and blank expression.   
"Did I miss something?" I ask confused.  
"Nope. You're all good. Here's your pizza. Have a goodnight." Dylan replies dryly.  
What the hell is going on here. Before I can say anything else Eric has the pizza in his hand and his other is pulling me by my arm back to the car.  
"What the fuck was that about?" I ask.  
"Drop it". Is all he replies.  
"But that was.. super weird. Are you guys fighting or something?"  
"God damnit y/n I said fucking drop it!" He shouts as he cranks the car.  
The drive to his house is silent. When we walk inside I follow him into the kitchen where I'm introduced to his mom.  
"Mom this is y/n. Y/n this is my mom. We are gonna go downstairs." He spits out so fast it's hard to even make out what he says.  
"Wooaaah Eric. Slow down. Hi y/n, my name is Kathy." She says while shaking my hand. Her eyes go back to Eric as she says   
"And I didn't know that when you said a friend was coming over that it meant a girlfriend?" I could feel my cheeks go red.  
"She isn't my girlfriend" he quickly says before he looks over at me and adds "yet" with a smile. His mom smiles sweetly and says   
"Okay Eric. No bedroom. Couch only. Door open." As he drags me down the stairs.  
"Talk about embarrassing" he says shaking his head.  
"She is just doing what mom's are supposed to do." I say smiling and sitting down on the couch.  
"If only she knew I brought you here because she is here. So you wouldnt feel like I was trying to make moves on you" he says as he puts the movie in and joins me on the couch.  
"Ohh how will I ever resist your moves" I say dramatically.  
He squints his eyes at me for a second and comes closer  
"I'm hoping you won't for much longer".  
We sat and ate pizza and talked for a while. I found out things about him that he said he had never told a girl before. I told him all about my life back home. About my parents. He pulled me in for a hug when he could tell it was hard for me. He is the first person I have openly talked about them with here. When the movie went off that we never actually watched, he stood up to stretched and I followed. Before I knew what was happening he had pulled me to him by my waist and nuzzled his face into my neck.  
"You smell so good" he says quietly. I sucked in a deep breath trying to keep my body from responding to him.  
"Can I take you somewhere before I have to take you home?" He asks and presses his forehead against mine.  
"Will there be adult supervision?" I ask only halfway joking.  
"Unfortunately for you no there will not" he says as he pulls away from me and motions with his head for me to follow him up the stairs. When we get to the living room his parents are on the couch watching TV.  
"Hey I'm gonna take y/n home and go by Dylan's if that's cool." He says to them. His mom smiles at us sweetly and says it's fine with her and to be safe. When we get in the car Eric leans over and kisses me softly on the cheek before he cranks the car and starts to back out.  
"So where are you taking me?" I ask nervously. He just looks over at me and smirks without a word.  
We pull off into what looks like a grassy field. It's so dark out I can barely tell though. He parks the car out gets out. I nervously follow. He pops his trunk and pulls out a blanket and walks to the front of the car and spreads it out.  
"Come here" he says as he sits down on the blanket with his hand reached out to me.  
I take his hand and he pulls me to sit in between his bent knees with my back to his chest.   
"Look up" he says.  
When I do the sky is full of thousands of bright twinkling stars.  
"Oh wow!". I reply.  
"Pretty cool right?" He laughs  
"It's breathtaking" I can feel his heart beating harder on my back.  
"You're breathtaking" he says softly.  
I lay my head back on his shoulder smiling.  
"I have never felt like this with anyone before. You make me feel.. I don't know I guess you just make me feel." Before I can respond he starts placing soft kisses on my neck. Without realizing what I'm doing kibend my neck so he has better access. When he goes up and bites my ear I hear a moan escape my lips that I couldn't deny.  
"You can tell me to stop and I'll stop" he says in between kisses to my neck.  
"Please don't" I say breathless.  
I feel him smile against me as his hands move from beside him to my thighs. He lightly runs his hands down until he finds the bottom of my dress. I can hear my own heart beating and I almost push his hands away but stop myself. With his hands now pushing my dress up higher on my legs he is breathing heavily in my ear and it's making me crazy.   
"You okay?" He asks softly.  
I can't speak so I shake my head yes quickly giving him the confidence to continue. With my dress now up around my waist he drags his hands up and down my inner thighs agonizingly slow. I bring my own hands up and place them on his legs gripping probably a little too tight.  
"Do you want me to stop?" He asks while I brings one hand to rest at the very bottom of my stomache. Without saying a word a grab his hand and push it further down right where I want it. He sucks in a deep breath as he slowly starts to move his hand up and down my most sensitive spot. I'm gripping his legs as tight as I can and I'm surei haven't taken a breath in minutes when he pulls my panties to the side and touches me. The first touch of his fingers made me see fireworks. I couldn't control my body. I knew I was pressing my back into him and I could feel my legs opening wider like they had a mind of there own. I was drunk on lust.   
"You are so fucking hot" he whispers in my ear sending me over the edge. I had never felt a release like that before. It was very different then doing it on my own.   
"Shhh damn woman you are gonna wake the city" he laughs as he moves his hand away. Overcome with my list for him I immediately turn around to face him grabbing the side of his face for a very sloppy kiss. I can feel him smiling into me as I move from in front of him to straddling him in his lap. I can feel his hardness pressing against me.  
"Fuck" he says breathlessly.  
"We gotta stop"  
"No I want you Eric." I say as I go down to kiss his neck.  
"And you have no idea how bad I hate myself for this. But I don't have a condom". He says pissed at himself.  
I quickly slide off of him and stand to pull my dress down because if I don't I won't be able to stop. He quickly stands up to and pulls me to him.  
"Don't be all weird." He says laughing. I push my face into his neck laughing.  
"Eric?" I say shyly  
"Hmm"  
"I'm gonna need you to go buy some condoms." I reply smiling.


	8. Tainted Love

Eric's pov

I can't believe she let me take it that far. I was really just testing her to see how far I could actually go before she stopped me. And I was the one that had to stop it. What 17 year old guy doesn't carry a fucking condom in their wallet? This one I fucking guess. As soon as I drop her off I'm going to the store. That shit won't happen again. It's gonna kill this high I'm on to go talk to V but I know I have to. If I don't go to him he will come to me. She hasn't said a word since we left. Is she regretting it? Gawd I hope not. I can't wait to touch her again.. and so much more. I want to devour her body and soul. Make her mine for the rest of the time I have left.

Y/n pov

He is so quiet. He looks like he is pissed. Did I do something wrong? Right before we pull on to my street I decide to test the waters and reach my hand over for his. He immediately let's go of the steering wheel and grabs my hand in his. Smiling without looking my way. The air I had been holding in my lungs finally releases a little louder than I would have liked as we pull up in front of my house. He hears it as he puts the car in park and turns to look at me with raised brows.  
"You good?" He asks.  
"Actually I think I'm better than good" I say looking into his eyes. His face gets more serious as he leans in and places a kiss on my cheek.  
"I'm gonna head out. I've got to go talk to Dylan before I head home. You gonna be online later?"  
"I can be.." I say smiling.  
"Yeah you should do that" he says with a smirk. Iean over and place a slow soft kiss on his lips before I get out and walk in without looking back. If I look back I may never let him leave.  
**********

Eric's pov

I pull up at V's house and he is already on the porch waiting. As soon as I get out of the car he starts walking towards me.  
"Are you fucking kidding me Reb?" He says spitting fire.  
"You lie to me and blow me off. And then come and rub it in my fucking face? Are you still in this shit or not? This wasn't part of the fucking plan!"  
I can't let him know how I feel about her. He is my best fucking friend. The best I've ever had. I'm not gonna fuck this up for him. We are both too invested to go back now.  
"V chill the fuck out. I know what I'm doing here. As soon as it happens you won't have anything to worry about anymore. And it almost fucking happened tonight but my stupid ass forgot to buy condoms" we will just have to hide it better until April. I'm not losing her until I take my last breath.  
"If you say so Reb. But from the outside looking in, it don't look shit like you say it is. That girl is falling for you. That was not the fucking plan. I like y/n. It's not gonna be fair to her ifyou make her fall in love with you and then you blow your fucking brains out. And you know she's gonna find out we had been planning this for over a year. She's gonna know that while you were romancing her and making her love you that you were also planning to blow up the school and off yourself. Hell she may not even survive what we are gonna do. How do you feel about that? Look, all I'm saying is is that you need to step away from her. Go into Reb mode Everytime she's around. Let her leave Eric in the past."

But what he doesn't know is that I'm the one falling. Hell I think I may have already fell. And as selfish as I know it is I'm not willing to let that go even if that means hurting her in the end. And permanent Reb mode? The world isn't ready for that. And I think she may like him more than she likes Eric anyways I think to myself trying not to smile while V is on his rant.

"I hear ya man. I do. I know you're right." Is all I reply.

"So prove it. I'm gonna invite everyone over to swim tomorrow before school starts Monday. Mom and dad agreed to go out for the day. Prove that you can stay the fuck away from her." He says looking at me like he knows I can't. God damnit V.

"You're on" I say.

Y/n pov

I had been sitting at the computer for what seemed like hours waiting on him. It was 1:45am and he still wasn't on. I decide 15 more minutes and I'm going to bed. Just as I'm about to sign off I see him sign on. Fucking finally. 

Y/n: that took forever....  
Y/n: hey??  
Y/n: I can see you reading my messages what the hell??

Are you fucking kidding me? I sign off and go to bed trying to figure out in my mind why he wouldn't respond to me. I sat there  
20 minutes waiting on a response.

I wake up late Sunday afternoon to knocking on the basement door. I roll out of bed and go to open the door and see Robyn standing there in a bathing suit cover up.  
"Girl you look a hot mess. Come on let's go to Dylan's and swim! Last day of summer break!" She says a little too excited.  
"Can you please not be so cheerful this early"  
"Early? Y/n it's 2pm. Get your ass up and let's goooo" she sings at me.  
I dig through my dresser and find the only bathing suit I own. It's a plain black bikini and I haven't even tried it on since last summer. I go into the bathroom and try it on and when I look in the mirror for the first time since yesterday morning I see the huge red mark in my neck. Fucking Eric. I didn't even realize he did that. I quickly cover it the best I can with foundation and go back to Robyn in my room.  
"Gawd girl! Eric is gonna shit himself when he sees you in that!" She yells.  
"Right before I make him feel like shit for not responding to me last night. But that's a story for another time" I say not wanting to go into details about everything that went down last night. I didn't own a bathing suit cover so I just threw on a oversized tank top And went with it.  
We pulled up at Dylan's house and there were already a few cars there. Eric's being one of them. We walked through the gate into the back yard to see Nate, Dylan, Mike, and Brooks already in the pool. Eric sitting in a chair nearby looks up at us and quickly looks away. What the hell?   
As I start to storm his way to confront him Mike runs up behind me and wraps his arms around me and throws me in the pool with him. I come up choking for air seeing red and fight my way to the stairs.  
"What the fuck Mike!" Robyn yells trying not to laugh with everyone else.  
I don't say a word as Robyn takes me inside to dry myself off and compose myself so I don't kill Mike.   
"Shouldn't have expected anything else with him. You know he's.." she trails off as she sees my neck. She grabs me and turns it so she can get a better look. I don't know what to say so I just stand there letting her look feeling embarrassed. She eventually let's my face goes and steps away with a blank expression on her face.  
"So Eric is a vampire or??"  
We both die out laughing breaking the awkwardness.  
"Something like that" I say shaking my head.  
After I've collected myself we head back outside where I immediately plant myself in a chair so I can't be attacked again. I glance over at Eric and it's like he is acting like I don't exist. I can feel that all too familiar feeling of hurt in my chest. Before it can overwhelm me I get up and walk back inside looking for a drink. I find a glass and start to fill it with water when I hear someone behind me. His hands come up and around my waist and he puts his chin on my shoulder.  
"I like seeing my marks on you" he says into my ear.  
"Don't Eric. You don't get to treat me like shit and then expect to come in here and act like everything is okay."   
As soon as I get it out of my mouth he spins me around facing him and crushes my mouth with his. Parting my lips forcefully with his tongue I have no choice but to give in. We didn't even notice when Dylan walked in.   
"Hey you guys mind not doing that shit in my kitchen" he says dryly scaring us both.  
"I.. I'm sorry" I say as I turn and walk to the door. Before I get out of ear shot I hear them.  
"I knew you couldn't fucking do it Reb. The plan was to just get laid not start a fucking romance novel!" Dylan says as I go into shock.  
"Fine. Fuck it. Fuck her. Is that better V? It won't fucking happen again. I'm done with her." He starts to walk out the door I'm standing right outside of but I can't move. I'm frozen in place. My heart shattering. I reach up and out my hand on my throat because I can't breathe. He took all of the air out of my body with his words. He stands there with big eyes looking at me. The realization that I just heard everything they said starting to show on his face. Without a word I walk to Robyn who is in the pool.  
"Please take me home" I say pleading.   
"What? No way girl get in the pool!" She isn't seeing the color gone out of my face apparently.  
Brookswas drying off nearby and I'm pretty sure he heard everything I did.  
"Hey y/n I'm heading out. Want me to drop you off?" I nod my head quickly and start out of the backyard to his car.   
"Y/n wait. Let me talk to you" I interrupt him and as calmly as I can I turn and look at him. "I don't want to hear anything else come out of your mouth. Leave me the fuck alone."  
I get into the passenger side of Brook's car and he quickly follows. As soon as we are on the road I lose it. Can't hold it in anymore. The tears started and I couldn't stop them. Brook's just drives me the rest of the way home in silence. This pain is too much.


	9. The Speed of Pain

Eric's pov

I knew the second I turned the corner and saw her face that she had heard every word. I tried to calm myself and talk to her but she wasn't having any of that. All I could do was watch them pull away. Her and fucking Brooks. Go figure he would stick his nose right in the middle of my shit. I'm gonna give her a little bit to calm down and go talk to her even though I have no idea what to say to make this better. If V could just feel a little bit of what I felt maybe he wouldn't be acting like this. Or hell, making me act like this. If she doesn't give me a chance to make it right I don't know if I could bear it. 

Dylan's pov

I really hated to do it. I knew she could hear us. But it had to be done. I can't get her face out of my head though. And Reb looks like he is in complete denial. There's no coming back from that. But I also can't help but feel guilty. He doesn't have a clue that I'm so close to the last little part of my plan to. I have to admit that it's becoming harder by the day to not catch feelings but unlike him I'm keeping the bigger picture in mind. He will snap out of it with school starting tomorrow. He will remember why we started this all to begin with.

Y/n pov

Brooks pulled up in front of my house trying not to be awkward.   
"Are you gonna be okay? I know we haven't hung out much but I'm here if you need anything at all." He says warmly.  
All I can do is nod my head and as I start to get out of his car I realize that no one is home yet. I thought we would eat something at Dylan's house but obviously that didn't happen. My stomache growls loudly right on cue.  
"Actually, would you possibly bring me a burger or something? Even like gas station food. There's nothing here and I have no idea when my sister will be back." I ask feeling embarrassed.  
"Sure! Gimme like 20 minutes or so cool?" He replies.  
"Thank you so much" I say as I close the door and he drives off.  
As I'm walking to the door I see Eric's little grey car coming down my road. I start to run and manage to get inside before he ever stops the car. I slammed the door and locked it and slid down to the floor shaking uncontrollably. Why would he even think it would be okay to come here? I thought I made it pretty clear that I wanted him to leave me alone. Why torment me. I feel like such a idiot. I fell for it all. How could he fake all of that? I pull myself out of the floor before I can sink any further into the pain. I hurry down to my room and change into some sleep pants and a tank top throwing my house shoes on just as I hear someone knocking on the front door. Are you serious right now? I quietly walk up the stairs to peek out of the curtain and when I do I see Brooks standing there with my food in hand. I quickly open the door and pull him in immediately storming him with questions.  
"Is he still out there? Did he say anything to you?" I rattle off.  
"If you mean Eric then yes. Him, Dylan, and Robyn are all on her front porch. No he didn't say anything to me but the look on his face was self explanatory." He said looking nervous.  
"Shit. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have gotten you involved in this. Thank you so much for the ride and food though. I seriously owe you!" I said as he turns back towards the door to leave.  
"No problem." He replies.  
As soon as the door is closed and I start to walk back towards the stairs I hear yelling outside. I turn back to look out the window and see Eric coming at Brooks across the yard.  
"What the fuck Brooks? Why don't you mind your own fucking business and stay the fuck out of mine!" Eric yells as he pushes Brooks in the chest shoving him back a few feet.  
"Dude chill out. I gave her a ride and got her some food because she didn't have anyone else to" Brooks says with his hands up as he walks backwards to his car.  
When Eric starts at him again I can't sit back and watch anymore. I throw the door open and storm off of the porch towards Eric.   
"You need to fucking leave. Right fucking now." I say as I come face to face with him.   
"Y/n can we please just talk for a minute"  
I cut him off before he can get out another word.  
"Fuck you Eric Harris. I don't give a shit about anything else you have to say. You are full of shit. Everything that comes out of your mouth is a fucking lie. I can't believe I fell for it. Fell for you!" I get closer to him so that no one else can hear what I'm saying  
"I can't believe I let you kiss me, touch me. I'm so God damn glad you didn't have a condom last night because if I had let you inside of me then I would have drown you in the fucking pool!" I hiss  
"Babe please I'm begging you can we go somewhere and talk?" He says looking pretty pathetic to me at the moment. I can't stop the words spewing out of me.  
"How dare you make me fall for you and then rip my heart out. Don't fucking call me. Don't fucking message me. Don't fucking speak to me at school. Just leave me the fuck alone. Let me get through the next 9 months and you will never have to see me again. I will go back home where I belong and you can go fuck yourself for all I care!" I scream in his face as I'm pushing him as hard as I can away from me over and over. By the time I have finished screaming he is on his knees in my front yard with his face in his hands. For a split second I thought I saw emotion on his face. Maybe even hurt? Also for a split second I thought about kicking his teeth down his throat. Dylan must have sensed that because as soon as Eric hit the ground on his knees Dylan ran at me. Grabbing me around my waist and pulling me towards my front door.  
"Let me go Dylan!" I scream while hitting him where ever I can make contact.  
"You knew the whole time!" I scream in agony as I collapse on the porch. Sounds coming out of me that I have never heard before and couldn't stop. Robyn came running over wrapping her arms around me as if to shield me from everyone else.  
"Girl you've got to breathe." She says as she pulls me up off of the porch and into the front door. It felt like I couldn't take a deep breath. My chest hurt so bad as soon as she got me to my room I collapsed on my bed clenching it.  
"It hurts so bad. I can't do this Robyn!" I get out before the sobs start again. She sits with me in silence rubbing my back as I hyperventilate on my bed.  
"Y/n I know you don't want to talk and that's fine but I need you to listen to me." I can hear him talking but it's not registering. I know it's Dylan but he sounds like he is speaking a foreign language.  
"I have never seen Eric like this before. I have seen him in many different moods but this is something really bad. He hasn't moved from the spot you left him in on your yard. I know you are fucking pissed right now and I'm sure he gets that to but when you calm down will you please hear him out? This is my fault. Blame me. Hate me if you want to. But please give him a chance to at least talk to you." He keeps standing in my room for a minute waiting on me to respond and when I don't I hear him walking back up the stairs.  
"You can go with him. I just want to be alone." I say colder than I expected to.  
"Oh.. okay." Robyn says as she stands and walks out.  
I must have cried myself to sleep because I'm shocked awake when Marie comes in and pulls the covers off of me.  
"Y/n get up or you're gonna be late for your first day!" She says happily. When I sit up and look at her she realizes that something is wrong.  
"Wanna talk about it?" She asks looking worried.  
All I can do is shake my head no.  
I get up and shower trying to wash the last day away. I Don't have the slightest care about putting on makeup. I pull my hair into a messy bun and throw on some jeans and a t shirt and walk up the stairs.   
"That's how you are going to school looking on your first day?" Marie asks looking shocked.  
"Can you please just drive me to this fucking place and let me get it over with without a million questions. Please?" I beg as I grab my backpack and head out the door.  
I get out of the car and start walking up to the school without looking back at her. If I look back then I'm not going. I walk up the stairs leading into the main building and I see them. Over to the right standing around bullshitting. Dylan spots me and gives me a small smile as he nudges Eric on the arm and motions with his head towards me. I quickly look away and start to walk faster into the building. Not doing this. Nope. I walk into the office out of breath causing the Secretary to give me a weird look.  
"Uh hey. I'm new here and I need to get my schedule and locker please" I say awkwardly.  
She asks me my name and digs through a pile of papers and pulls out my schedule.   
"Let me get someone to show you where your classes are so that you won't feel so overwhelmed." She says smiling sweetly.  
Just then the office door opens and in walks Dylan.   
"Oh uh.. my bad. My locker combo isn't working. Can I switch or something?" He asks trying not to look at me.  
"Ahh perfect! Yes I will take care of that for you if you will show y/n around please. She is new this year and you know how easy it is to get lost here." She tells him.  
Before I can protest he grabs my arm and pulls me into the hall.  
"Why don't I get Robyn to do this?" He asks not looking at me. Before I can answer I hear him behind me.  
"Get Robyn to do what?" Eric asks and as I turn around he has a blank look on his face. No emotion what so ever.  
"Eh I kinda got volunteered to show her around, but I was saying I could get Robyn" but Eric interrupts.  
"I'll do it." He says as he snatches my schedule out of my hand. Before I can form words he looks up from it and into my eyes.  
"Won't be to hard. You are with me most of the day anyways." He says smirking at me.  
I grab my schedule out of his hand and start to storm off not caring if I get lost.  
"Wrong way" he says while grabbing my arm and pulling me the opposite direction down the hall. How the hell am I supposed to stay sane when I can't get the fuck away from him? I jerk my arm away from him but continue to follow him to my first class. He walks in and sits in the very back row. There are empty seats all around him but I decide that I would rather sit beside someone I didn't know then spend another second in his presence so I walk to the very front row as far away from him as I can get. I could feel him starring daggers into me the whole class. Fuck him.


	10. ????

Feedback would be awesome! Should I keep going with this??


	11. Dazed and Confused

Eric pov

She wants absolutely nothing to do with me. It's been weeks since she has even acknowledged my presence and it's killing me. I thought with her being forced to see me throughout every school day that she would come around. But no. I think she maybe worse than me at holding grudges. I can't stand the thought of going through the next 6 months without her. I would even be okay if she would just be my friend I guess. I mean don't get me wrong. It would seriously suck to be around her and not be able to touch her, or press my lips to her cheek. But I would accept even eye contact at this point. I finally admit to myself that I am still very much in love with her. I mean I guess it's love. Never really believed in that shit but she is everything to me. I would die for her. And if she would give me the chance I may even live for her.

Dylan's pov

This shit has gone too far. Reb can't even hold a damn conversation anymore because he is so caught up in watching her every move and trying to get her attention. It's been 2 months. I feel like if it was me I would have let it go by now. But he isn't even paying attention in class right now to what we are supposed to be learning for the test. He seems to be just starring at the back of her head. As angry as it makes me that he is too distracted to even go over our plans, I also still feel really horrible about it all. Y/n is a cool chick and in a different world her and Reb would be perfect for each other. But not this world. Not this lifetime. I don't want to go NBK by myself. He planned this with me and he is gonna see it through damnit! 

"Pssh Reb!" I whisper getting his attention.  
He turns his head and looks at me with squinted eyes, Throws himself back into his seat with a loud huff and folds his arms over his chest starring straight ahead.  
Little fucker just threw a tantrum like a toddler. Something has got to fucking give here!

Y/n pov

6 months left of this hell and I'm gone. I hate waking up every single morning and knowing at some point during the day I'm going to have to see him. I never imagined that someone I'd only known for 3 months would have such a impact on me. I had been looking for that kind of love since I knew what love was. And it was all a act. Fake. All I can do now is close myself off from it all and get through this shit with the rest of my heart intact.   
The bell rings signaling lunch time for me. It always goes one of 2 ways. Robyn feels sorry for me and eats with me in the parking lot or I sit in the smokers pit either alone or with Brooks. They are the only 2 I still feel somewhat comfortable around.   
As I'm putting my books in my locker Robyn comes up behind me.   
"Hey girl! I have an idea!" She says smiling.  
I close my locker and turn to her looking less than thrilled.  
"Let's ditch this hell hole. It's Friday and we could use some girl time. You down?" She asks.  
"Hell yes I'm down. Take me away from here!" I say dramatically.  
"Hey look at you! I knew you were still in there somewhere!" She laughs.  
We walk straight out of the front door of the school without anyone even noticing. Not like anyone really pays attention to people like us anyways. Halfway to her car I hear Dylan behind us.  
"Where the hell are you 2 going?" He yells.  
"None ya!" Robyn replied laughing as we get into her car.  
He is standing on the hill looking at us with a confused look on his face.  
Robyn laughs as she starts the car and pulls away.  
"Let's go to that little diner in downtown! The one with those bad ass chicken fingers!" She says lickingher lips. "my treat!" She adds.  
"I never turn down free food." I reply.  
When we arrive at the diner we find a little table for 2 near the back and order. As we are waiting onour food Robyn looks at me shyly.  
"So can I talk to you about something privately? I mean.. I know you aren't in the best place and all but you are still one of my best friends. I need your input."   
I'm shocked at first that she called me one of her best friends but after thinking about it for a second I realized she is mine. I smile at her and say  
"Of course. Let's hear it."  
"So you know how I feel about Dylan and all. And I've always thought that he would never like me back. But for the last few weeks we have been spending a lot of time together. Like a lot!" She emphasizes.   
"So last weekend when my parents were out all the guys were over like always. It got late and everyone started to leave but Dylan stayed behind. We ended up on the couch making out and.. other stuff. But I stopped him because it was eating me up that he treats me one way when people are around and another way when we are alone. I just feel like he's ashamed to be with me or something. I couldn't bring myself to talk to him about it so I just told him I wasn't ready yet."   
I let her finish and catch her breath before I start to speak.  
"So I'm probably not the best person to begiving advice on this stuff right now. But I say talk to him about it. Ask him what's up. You don't want to end up like me. Heartbroken and pathetic." I say looking down.  
She takes my hand across the table.  
"Y/n I know what happened between you 2 was awful. But I really think that Eric realizes he fucked up. He is not himself at all. He barely wants to hang out with us anymore and when he does he is a buzz kill with his moping." She says seriously.  
"Please don't Robyn. Don't defend him. I can't let myself feel bad for him. He deserves to feel like that. As bad as I hate to say it out loud I'm still very much in love with the boy. Everytime I see him my heart starts going crazy and I just want to run into his arms. But I also want to grab him by his hair and smash his head into the wall repetitively." I say with no expression on my face.  
"Good Lord you 2 were made for each other. I know that sucks to hear but I will believe it as long as I live!" She says laughing.  
Our food comes and we eat without talking. When I'm finished I clean up my mess and wait on her.  
"So here's an idea. Next time y'all are all together you should make a move on him. Like just do it grab his hand and hold it kiss him. Anything. See how he reacts." I say as she looks at me with huge eyes.  
"I could never do that!" She says looking terrified.  
"Robyn you kissed him on impulse that night when we were all at your house. Just do it like that again." I tell her.  
"I had liquid courage that night though. Annnnnnd I was trying to prove a point to you!" She says laughing. Before she falls silent and looks at me for a second.  
"Come over tonight after bowling. I won't force you to go bowling or any of that but just come over when we call get back to my house. If you are uncomfortable all you have to do is walk home. Please y/n! I need you there!" She says begging.  
"I'll come if you tell him not to speak to me. The first time he tries I'm out." I say not feeling too sure about it but wanting to be there for her.  
"Deal!" She says as she stands up from the table.  
"Let's go. I gotta take you home so I can get ready for tonight!" She says.  
I look down at my watch and realize we have been sitting here talking for 2 hours.   
We pull into her driveway and as I start to walk towards my house she yells out to me  
"Come over around 9! We should be back by then!"   
I just nod as I keep walking. What the hell did I get myself into.


	12. S(aint)

Robyn's pov

I walked into my house after lunch with y/n and threw my backpack down and went straight to my computer. Dylan isn't on. Right before I sign off I get a message.

Rebdomine: so I think I'm gonna sit this one out.  
RA99: no way! You have to come! You never miss bowling!  
Rebdomine: did she talk about me?  
RA99: Eric I can't tell you what she says. She my friend and I wouldn't want her telling my business.  
Rebdomine: I just need to know if there is ant hope. If not then I have to find a way to get over her.  
Rebdomine: I fucked up Robyn.  
RA99: yeah you did.  
RA99: I will tell you that she is coming over tonight after bowling. But you can't approach her. You have to leave her alone if you decide to come.

Eric signed off as soon as I sent the last message. I'm sure he got upset about it. But I haveto focus on what I'm going to do about Dylan. It may even be better if Eric doesn't show tonight honestly.  
I get ready and leave the house at 6 heading to the bowling alley.  
All the guys are at the door waiting when I pull up.  
"Always fashionably late." Mike says teasing me.  
" Now all we are missing is Eric" Nate says.  
"He's not coming" Dylan replies as he holds the door open for everyone to walk in.  
I feel conflicted about it but decide it's probably for the best.  
After over 2 hours we finish our games and get ready to leave.  
"Cool if I ride with you?" Dylan asks throwing his arm over my shoulder.  
Caught off guard I respond  
"Uhh I guess. I mean yes of course!" I say blushing.  
He grins at me as we walk to my car.  
My parents are still awake so everyone comes in the front door and says hi as we make our way to the basement.  
Everyone goes straight to the couches and chairs finding their spot for the night and before I can sit down I hear a knock on the door. When I open in y/n is standing there looking nervous. I quickly go in for a hug and as I'm hugging her I whisper in her ear  
"He didn't come. Its okay "  
She pulls away from me and breathes out a relieved breath.  
She comes in and sits next to Brooks still looking nervous.  
"Hey y/n!" Dylan says smiling.  
She shoots daggers through him with her eyes without saying a word and turns to talk to Brooks. Dylan shrugs it off and goes back to talking to the rest of the guys.  
As I'm walking back to sit down there is another knock at the door. Who the hell now? I think as I walk back to open it. And there stood Eric. Fuckkkk I though to myself. He nods his head at me as a greeting and walks right in.  
"What's up guys" he says as if nothing is weird.  
The room is silent as him and y/n lock eyes in what looks like a starring contest.  
He walks straight to where she is sitting and makes room for himself in between her and Brooks. My own heart is about to beat out of my chest so I can only imagine how y/n is feeling. Before he can even get seated good though she gets up and steals my seat looking at me like she's already ready to bolt.  
"Alright guys let's kill this awkwardness! Y/n truth or dare!" Mike says sitting on the edge of his seat.  
Looking over at her I can't read her expression so I'm shocked when she says  
"Dare."  
"I dare you to slap Eric right in the face and get this shit over with so everything can go back to normal." He says completely serious.  
As y/n stands up to carry out the dare I have to stop her.  
"No way! Mike stop being a ass!" As say as I push y/n back to her chair.  
"Fuck it. If it will make you feel better then hit me. Beat the shit out of me. I'll stand here and let you" Eric says as he stands up looking at her.  
"Don't fucking tempt me. My dare was stopped so it's my turn to ask right?" is all she says not looking at him. Everyone is silent expecting her to fuck Eric up with a truth or dare. Instead she says  
"Robyn truth or dare." Wiggling her eyebrows at me. Shit shit shit. Are we really doing this now?  
"Be nice y/n. I'm going with truth." I say feeling super nervous.  
She thinks for a minute before she raises her eyebrow at me and asks  
"Who was your first kiss?"  
I can't make the words come out. I'm so scared to ruin what we have going on in private but then again I have to know how he really feels.  
"Dylan" I say without another thought.  
As soon as I say it Eric shoots his head to look at Dylan. Dylan shifts uncomfortably in his chair trying his best not to look embarrassed.  
"My turn" I say.  
"Dylan, truth or dare." I fully expect him to pick dare after what was just asked but he surprises me and says  
"Truth"  
Well shit. Here it goes.  
"Do you wanna be more than my friend?" I ask looking right at him.  
The room is so silent you can hear everyone breathing. They are all looking back and forth from me to Dylan like they are watching a movie or something.  
"Yep". Is all he replies .  
I can feel my cheeks get hot as I try not to smile. When I look over at Eric his face is redder than mine. What's his deal?  
I walk upstairs to get some drinks and when I get back and pass them all out except for one I start to walk towards Dylan to hand it to him. He takes it and grabs my arm and pulls me down beside him in the chair. I couldn't be happier in this moment.

Eric's pov

I'm so mad I can't see straight. This mother fucker ruined everything for me and now he's over here playing fucking house with Robyn while I die inside. I can't believe this shit. I want to confront him right here in front of everybody but then everything will get fucked. I wish y/n would have just knocked me out earlier. At least I wouldn't be witnessing this shit right now.

Dylan's pov

Fuck it. I tried so hard not to let my feelings take over but it happened. I want love. That's all I've ever wanted and here it is. I can see it spilling out of her when I look into her eyes. I'm done fighting it and I'm done hiding it. If I had went with the plan then I would have just screwed her and been done with her but I can't do that. I didn't realize it until we were on the couch together last weekend. She makes me feel like I'm on top of the world. All of the anger and bad shit goes away when I'm with her. If this is how Reb felt about y/n then I feel even worse about what happened. If I could fix it for him I would. 

Y/n pov

Mission accomplished. I stand up and walk over to Robyn who is now sitting across Dylan's lap.  
"I'm gonna head out. Call me tomorrow." I say into her ear as I head for the door. I make it halfway between our house when I hear him  
"Please give me a chance to talk to you. It's killing me y/n".  
I stop in my tracks without turning around. If I look at him I'm going to break.  
"Do you not understand how bad you hurt me Eric? Do you not fucking get it?" I ask with my back to him.  
"I do. I swear I do because I hurt myself to y/n. I've never been so miserable in my life. Will you please look at me?" He asks as he puts his hand on my arms. I quickly pull it away.  
"When I look at you my heart beats so fast that I think it's going to come out of my chest and I don't know if it's because I hate you or because I still love you after everything you said." I say with my back still turned.  
"All I'm asking is for you to give me a chance to make this right. I'm not saying let's go back to how we were because I know you probably will never trust me again. But I need you y/n. I just need you to at least be my friend. I know I fucked up." He says grabbing my hand from my side. I let him hold it for a minute feeling ashamed that I missed his touch so much.  
"Can I call you tomorrow?" He asks as I pull my hand away.  
"Please don't Eric." I say pleading.  
"Will you at least unblock my online. You don't have to see me or hear me that way." He says sounding defeated.  
"I'll think about it" in say coldly as I walk the rest of the way to my house and lock the door behind me.  
I go straight to my room and change into my pajamas and lay down on my bed. My mind is going crazy and I know it's going to be impossible to fall asleep no matter how much I try.  
After tossing and turning for a hour I decide to go upstairs and get on the computer and see if Robyn may be on yet. I need details of her night to get my mind off of mine.  
I sign on and see that she isn't on. Before I sign off I go to my block list and see his name. I hold the cursor over it for several minutes before I click on it and hit unblock. As soon as I do a message pops up on my screen.

Rebdomine: thank you (:  
Y/n: I can block you again real easy so watch yourself.  
Rebdomine: please stop hating me y/n.  
Y/n: I don't know what to say to you anymore. My heart wants me to say that I forgive you but my brain says to tell you to go fuck yourself.  
Rebdomine: I like your heart more(:  
Rebdomine: can I come see you tomorrow please? I need to explain some stuff to you. And I will be honest. You may never speak to me again afterwards but at least you will understand.  
Y/n: I can't give you a answer right now.  
Rebdomine: ok. Let me know what you decide. Goodnight y/n.

Eric's pov

First thing in the fucking morning I'm going to confront V. I'm going to let him know straight up that I'm explaining almost everything to y/n. That's the only way I know to make her understand that I wasn't technically using her or lying to her. I don't know why he would care at this point. He seems to be pretty content with Robyn and that's no act he's putting on. I know him well enough to know that she is giving him everything that he's ever wanted. I had that to but he managed to get that taken away from me. 

Y/n pov

I tried my hardest to fall asleep but all I could do was think of him. I do want to see him tomorrow. I have to give him the chance to explain even if it hurts me more. We have to figure out a way to be civil with each other the rest of the school year or life is just going to be hell. I'll call him in the morning and tell him to come over. As I finally drift off to sleep the image of us on the blanket under the stars is all I can think about.


	13. Then It All Crashes Down

Robyn's pov

Everyone started filing out shortly after y/n and Eric disappeared. I wanted to go save her from whatever situation he was putting her in but I just couldn't pull myself out of the chair next to Dylan. I was so scared that if I got up I may never get this chance again. But as soon as everyone left I started to feel awkward. Neither of us were saying a word. Finally I decide to break the silence but as soon as I open my mouth to speak Dylan outs his hand on my cheek smiling at me shyly.  
"I meant what I said ya know" he says rubbing my cheek with his thumb.  
"I really hoped you did. Because I've wanted to be more than your friend for a very long time." I say looking down too shy to look into his eyes.  
Before any more words can be spoken he pulls me in for a kiss. We have kissed plenty of times by now but this one felt different. Like he was actually putting feeling into it instead of just a sloppy kiss.  
As it started to get heated I had to force myself to pull away.  
"Dylan my parents are upstairs and you know they won't go to sleep until everyone leaves..." I say hoping he won't think that I just don't want him. Because I do.   
"Yeaaah I know. We never seem to have time alone though to actually.. uh.." he says not knowing how to finish his sentence.  
"So let's find a time!" I say feeling excited about the idea.  
"You want to schedule sex?" He says with a laugh.  
"Well I mean.. it seems like the best option right now. We find a time where parents aren't going to be home and no one else from the crew are going to be around. Just me and you!" I say leaning in and placing a quick kiss on his lips.  
"You figure that out and let me know then." He says not sounding too sure about it.  
"Come on and let me take you back to your car." I say standing up and pulling him up by his arms.  
When we get back to the bowling alley he leans over and kisses me deeply before getting out of my car.  
"For real though. Let me know as soon as you figure that out." He says before closing the door and walking away. My heart is beating super fast as I drive home in silence thinking about how we can make this happen.

Dylan's pov

After Robyn dropped me off at my car I got in and sat in silence thinking about what to do here. I know with all of my heart that she is the one. And I also know that I could never hurt her. The thought happens before I can stop it. I have to get out. I have to tell Reb that it's off. He is going to hate me and I'm probably going to lose my best friend. But the only reason I was doing it in the first place was for a way out. But now I have something to live for. I want to live for her.

Y/n pov

I open my eyes and see the sun coming in the tiny window above my bed. Thank God I actually got some sleep. I roll over and look at the clock beside my bed. 9:43am. Too early to call Eric. So instead I hop out of bed and into the shower to get ready for the day. I don't have a clue how any of this is going to go but I do know that I'm ready to hear him out. I may never be able to forgive him. And there's no way we can go back to how we were. But I can at least hear his side of it all and try to move on. After showering and getting dressed I head upstairs and grab a cold poptart for breakfast and head over to the computer. As soon as I sign on Robyn messages me.

RA99: I need to talk to you asap!!  
Y/n: we'll talk girl..  
RA99: in person! Wanna go to that Mexican place in the mall for lunch and talk?? Plllleeeeasse.  
Y/n: sure. I'll walk over shortly.

I sign off and go back downstairs for my shoes and backpack and walk out the basement door headed to Robyn's. She opens the door before I can knock.  
"You look good today girl! I haven't seen you wear makeup in like months!" She says smiling.  
I didn't even do anything but put eyeliner and mascara on I must have been looking pretty rough for her to notice.  
When we get in her car headed to the mall I ask her what she wants to talk about.  
"Nu uh. Let's get to the mall first. I need to be able to see your face when I tell you." She says excitedly.  
When get to the mall and get a seat at the restraunt pretty quick since lunch just started.  
"Alright we are here. You can see me. Spill it!" I say.  
"So we have a plan." She says quietly.  
"Who has a plan?" I say whispering back to her like someone is listening.  
"Me and Dylan. We have a plan to have sex." She says nonchalantly.  
I almost choke on my water.  
"So like.. girl I don't even know what to say to that? Awesome? Good job?" I say laughing.  
"We had to come to a restraunt for you to tell me that?" I say confused.  
"Well technically no but I realllly wanted Mexican food." She says as she chomps down on a chip.  
"And I wanna know what happened between you and Eric." She says with raised eyebrows.  
"Nothing happened. He followed me out wanting to talk and I couldn't. I unblocked him though." I say feeling nervous.  
"Finally!! And??" She says excitedly.  
" And that's about it. I'm going to call him when we get back and see if he wants to come over and talk." I say not feeling too sure of myself.  
"Good" she says smiling at me.

Eric's pov

I didn't sleep at all. I sat on my bed waiting on the sun to come up. I'm going to V's as soon as it does. I have no idea how to approach this without him freaking out on me though. I have to let her know why he said what he said. And why I agreed with him. Fuck this is gonna be hard.   
By 7am I have showered and dressed for the day. Realizing in going to look insane if I show up at his house this early on a Saturday I decide to get online and see if anyone is on. No one worth talking to is so I leave it open and start up Doom. Best way to kill time. After several levels I get a notification that someone signed on. It's V.

Rebdomine: I'm coming over.  
I type as fast as my fingers will move and sign off.  
I fly up the stairs and yell to my mom in the kitchen that I'm going to Dylan's. Before she can respond I'm out the door.  
When I pull up he walks out of his front door straight to my car and gets in.   
"Drive to the range." He says dryly.  
I nod and start that way. We are both silent all the way there.  
Before I can even put my car in park he opens the door and gets out walking to the front of my car. He takes his hat off scratching his head like he does when he is nervous. Why is he nervous? I'm the one about to fuck this all up for us.  
I get out and walk his way trying to find the right words to start this conversation when he breaks the silence.  
"Reb I love her. I can't do this anymore. I want out." He says looking at the ground.  
My jaw drops and I can feel the heat coming off of me.  
"The fuck did you just say!?" I ask hoping like hell I heard him wrong even though there's no way.  
" Look man I'm sorry. I don't want to do it anymore. I want to live. I want to be with her." He says looking like he might cry.  
Before I can even think my mouth starts going.  
"So let me get this straight. You fucked up everything I had going on with y/n. You knew all along how I felt about her but you made me hurt her. And now because you are in the same situation you want to dip out on me? Well guess what V? I don't have a fucking reason to not do it anymore. We are still getting tormented every damn day at school. Did you forget about that?" I scream at him feeling my fingers go white my fists are bawled up so tight.  
" Reb we've got 6 months left man and that shits done. Looking at it now I see how stupid we were being. Can't you see that to?" He says pleading with me to understand.  
"Fine V. Bitch out. Leave me to do it on my own. But I'm not stopping shit. The only time the thought of not doing it slipped my mind was when I was with y/n and I don't have that now." I say shaking all over.  
"So get her back man. Come up with something. Tell her it was all my fault. Robyn says that y/n still loves you. That means there's some kind of hope Reb" he says trying to convince me.  
I walk over and sit on the grass trying to calm down. If what he says is true, and she still loves me, then I have to do something.  
"I'm gonna tell her our plan." I say after a few minutes or silence .  
The color drains from his face.   
"You can't fucking do that Reb!" He yells storming towards me.  
"She's gonna freak out and turn us in! Are you fucking crazy?" He asks kicking rocks with his boot.  
"Then help me. Either help me find a way to get back good with her or I talk and we both go down." I say glaring at him.


	14. I Think I'm Okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one gets a little smutty guys.. if you don't like that then don't read anymore because there's gonna be more of it!!

Eric's pov

After the threat of exposing everything V agreed to do everything in his power to help me. We drove back to his place and went inside. When we got to his room it hit me that I had been gone for over a hour and she said she would let me know something. What if she called? I walk over and sit down in his computer chair and quickly type my sign on stuff in.  
"What are you doing?" He asks from his bed.  
"Seeing if she's on. She unblocked me last night.  
She wasn't on. Neither was Robyn. Shit. She told me not to call.  
V is laid back on his bed with his legs hanging over the side and I'm sitting in his computer chair stuck in my thoughts. I can't wait anymore.  
"V can I use you phone?" I say breaking the silence.  
He reaches over on the side of his bed and hands it to me. I quickly dial the number that I knew by heart. As it rings I start to think about the many late nights we had spent talking on the phone over the summer.  
"Hello" the voice on the other side says.  
"Uh yeah hey.. is y/n there?" I ask nervously.  
"No she's not she went to the mall with Robyn. Not sure when she will be back but I can take a message?" She says.  
"No that's okay. Thanks." I say as I hang up.  
"They are at the mall." I say looking at V.   
"I guess that means we are going to the mall." He says sitting up.  
When we get to the mall I see that it's super crowded. Being Saturday and all I don't know why I expected anything different but it's going to be hard as hell to find them.  
We get out and walk in and decide to start at arcade and work our way to the back side.   
After scanning at least 6 stores I'm starting to lose hope when V says  
"There they are."  
I look in the direction he is looking in and see them at the sunglasses kiosk trying on shades. I can't help but smile while I watch her. God she's beautiful.  
We start to walk that wayand Robyn sees us just as we are about to approach them. Y/n has her back turned and I hold my finger over my mouth for Robyn to not say anything. I walk up right behind y/n and get as close as I can to her ear  
"Hey beautiful" I whisper   
She turns around shocked to see me standing there. V walks up to Robyn and kisses her right on the mouth. She's grinning from ear to ear. I guess they do make a good couple I think sadly as y/n takes a step back away from me.

Y/n pov

What the hell is he doing here and what makes him think it's okay to talk to me like that. I can't help but react by backing away from him and I immediately notice the sadness in his eyes when I do. I can feel my heart start to hurt for him but I quickly make myself snap out of it. I have to remember why I'm mad at him.  
"We were about to go look for Halloween costumes! You guys wanna come?" Robyn says as I give her a shitty look.  
"Hell yes we do." Dylan says happily.  
As we walk towards the store Robyn and Dylan are holding hands and laughing with each other while I try my best to keep my distance from Eric.   
We browse the racks for a while and Robyn decided she's going to try a few on before she buys one. So I'm stuck sitting with both boys in awkward silence.   
"Y/n you know you want to try some on to!" She yells from the dressing room.  
That's actually not a bad idea. It will get me away from them. As I go to grab a few different ones Robyn comes out and says she decided on a sexy Navy girl costume.  
"I'm not doing sexy." I say firmly.  
"Oh come on! Look try this one on! Then we can match!" She says holding up and camouflage Army girl outfit.  
"But where the rest of it?!" I say as she dies out laughing.  
"Come on you are going to look hot! I want to see it when you get it on! I'll go put mine back on to!" She says as we walk into separate dressing rooms.  
I strip down and put on the ridiculous outfit just to make her happy. What are friends for anyways I think to myself while trying to put out of my mind that Eric is sitting in a chair not far from my dressing room.   
"Are you ready?" I hear Robyn call out.  
"as ready as I'm getting." I call back.  
We both walk out at the same time and I feel so stupid.  
Robyn looks cute in hers. I feel.. exposed.  
"Holy shit y/n you look great!" She says loudly.  
Eric and Dylan both get up and walk our way.  
"I most definitely agree with that statement" Eric says licking his lips. I can feel my face turning red.  
"Let's go find some shoes!" Robyn says excitedly.  
She picks me out a pair of solid black Mary Jane's with a heel that I know I could never walk in.  
"So where exactly are we going for Halloween. Cuz unless it involves a lot of standing in one place then I'm wearing my Chucks." I say as I'm bent down trying to get the shoes in.  
Everyone is silent as I stand up and they are all looking at me.  
"What!?" I ask feeling left out.  
"Uhh that skirt is short as fuck." Eric says from behind me.   
Holy shit! I'm so not used to being in public with this little clothes on. I put my hands on my face feeling mortified that I just flashed Eric my whole ass.  
"Hey you won't hear me complaining" he says laughing.  
I go to take a step towards him to get more leverage on the slap I'm about to put on his arm but I forgot I was wearing these stupid heels and I start to fall.  
I land right in his arms as he catches me. Our faces inches apart.  
"I saved your life" he says smirking at me. I can't make myself pull away from him because our eyes have locked and my heart is winning this battle over my brain. Dylan pulls Robyn onto the next aisle I imagine so that she will stop gawking at us.   
I try to compose myself and pull away from him.  
"I know this is a super weared question but will you please help me get these shoes off. There's no way I'm making it to that chair in these and I obviously can't bend over" I say with red cheeks.  
He immediately bends down and starts to undo the strap around my ankle. I can't help but look down at him as he does and before I can look away he looks up at me and gives me that sideways grin. He leaves his hands wrapped around my ankle a little longer than I expected so I clear my throat trying to break this up. He looks away and undoes the other shoe and I step out of them.  
"Thank god. Back on even ground" I say laughing.  
Before I can even react he pulls me into him by my waist  
"I like you being shorter then me anyways" he says so close to my mouth I can feel his breath.  
"You sure have a way with words don't you." I say pulling away from him and putting the shoes back where they go.  
"You told me once that you like it when I talk to you like that. Has that changed?" He says coming back closer to me. I don't know how he is doing it but he is making me so hot with the way he is speaking to me. It doesn't help that he is looking at me like I'm his when he knows damn well I'm still pissed at him. I think. I'm having trouble remembering why I was mad at him in the first place as I stare into his beautiful eyes.  
I close my eyes for a split second trying to snap out of it as Robyn and Dylan walk back over to us.  
"So you are totally get that costume. Chucks or not." She says laughing.  
"Do we have plans for Halloween?" I ask as we walk to the front to pay.  
"We always do something for Halloween. Even if it's just hanging out in someone's basement." Dylan says.  
"Well it's 2 days away and y'all have no solid plans to tell me so I don't think I'm buying this costume" I say turning to put it away. Eric grabs it out of my hand  
"Oh no you are definitely getting this. We can party at my house. My parents are going on a trip since it's fall break this week. The house is all mine.." he says looking right at me.  
"See! We always find something to do!" Robyn says happily.  
We pay for our costumes and start to head out of the mall. We have been here so long that it's starting to get dark outside. Since I road with Robyn and Dylan road with Eric they walk us to Robyn's car. Robyn and Dylan are talking quietly to each other saying there goodbyes and I walk around to the passenger side to get in.  
Before I can open the door Eric walks up behind me.  
"Can I at least have a hug?" He says pulling me into him before I can answer.  
I start to struggle to get away but then I realize how good it feels to be back in his arms after so many months apart so I bring my arms up around his neck and hug him back.   
"I may not ever let you go now" he says smiling into my neck.   
Right before I break the hug he kissed me softly right below my ear. It sends chills all over my body and he feels me react to him.  
"Sorry about that. I saw my chance and I took it" he says and before he can say another words my heart takes over and I pull my face away from his shoulder and kiss him right on the lips.   
He is looking at me with huge eyes as I start to pull away but before I can his lips come crashing back down on mine. He parts my lips hungrily with his tongue and I let him kissing him right back with the same amount of force. Not a care in the world who may be seeing us. He pushes my back into the side of Robyn's car as he deepens the kiss. I instinctively moan into his lips as he pulls away and bites my lower lip.  
With his forehead pressed against mine breathing heavily he says  
"I was not expecting that" as he smiles and licks his lips.  
"Believe me neither was I" I says breathlessly.  
"I kinda don't want this to end" he says looking into my eyes.  
"I really don't want this to end" I say without thinking.  
"Wanna go with me?" He asks squinting at me like he is scared of my answer.  
"Yes" I say as I shake my head.  
He smiles and grabs my hand as he pulls me down the aisle to his car.  
"So am I riding with Robyn?" Dylan calls out behind us.  
"Shit my bad V! Could you please?" He says directing it towards both of them.  
"Yes if course y'all go!" Robyn says happily.  
We get to his car and get in quickly as if we are on a mission.  
"So where are we going?" I ask smiling at him.  
"Under the stars" he says as he starts the car.  
I sit back in my seat trying to hide my smile. I know I shouldn't be giving into him so easily but it feels so right. I know I will regret it but in this moment I don't care. I'm going with it and I'll see where it takes me. I already know what the heartbreak feels like. I survived it once and I will survive it again.  
As we get closer to the spot I can't help myself. I reach over and place my hand on his thigh shifting in my seat to get closer to him.  
He grins without taking his eyes off of the road.  
I gather up my courage and run my hand closer to the growing bulge forming in his pants. I see his lips part as I graze his every so lightly.  
"Fuuuck your gonna make me wreck" he says breathlessly.  
"I can stop" I say as I start to pull my hand away.  
He grabs it and puts it right on top of the bulge that is now super obvious.  
"Don't fucking stop" he says putting both hands back in the wheel.  
"We are almost there"  
I unbuckle so I can move better and start to rub him harder through his pants. He pressed his head back into the seat trying not to close his eyes.  
As soon as we pull up and he put the car in park he unbuckles his seat belt and starts to get open his door but before he can I grab the back of his shirt and pull him back in.  
"What are you doing?" He asks looking confused and I crawl over the middle console and onto his lap facing him. He grabs the lever on the side of his seat and slides it back so there's more room. He grabs me by the back of my head and pulls my lips into his. Before I know what I'm doing I start grinding my hips on top of him. This time it's his turn to moan into my mouth and I can't help but smile into his lips.  
"Fuck your driving me crazy baby" he says bucking his hips under me.  
"We have too many clothes on" he says as he starts pulling at my shirt.  
"Soooo here's the thing. I know we are kind of at the point of no return and all but I really don't want my first time to be in a car.." I say trying to stop my hips from moving. With his hands still on my hips holding me down   
"I get that. I really do. But you are the one not stopping here. And if you don't soon I'm gonna have a mess" he says grinding his teeth together.   
"I guess you might just have a mess then" I say as I go down and start kissing and biting his neck still grinding myself onto him.  
His fingers get tighter digging into my hips. I know I will have bruises but I don't care. I go up and bite his ear as I grind into him as hard as I can with clothes on.  
"Fuck baby I'm so close" he says as I smile into his neck.  
I move my lips to his and kiss him right before I bite his bottom lip.  
He tenses up and stops me from moving by holding my hips still.  
"Sorry about your mess" I say as he starts to loosen back up.  
"Yeah this is gonna be a uncomfortable ride home" he says smiling.  
"But never apologize for making that happen. That was fucking amazing." He says as I climb off of him and back into my seat.  
"Imagine what the real thing will be like" he says looking over at me.  
"We'll find out soon I'm sure" I say laughing.  
"Oh yeah? How soon?" He asks looking serious.  
"Oh God I'm not planning sex with you. What the hell is wrong with everybody?" I say as he looks at me confused. I shake my head and laugh as he starts the car and we head towards my house.


	15. Run Away

Y/n pov

I'm so conflicted as I lay on my bed looking at the ceiling trying to decide if I'm happy about what happened between me and Eric tonight or if I'm disappointed in myself. I'm still hurt. I'm still really mad at him. But I can't resist the boy. Those eyes and that smile. He's like a drug to me and I'm completely addicted. We are going to have to talk about what happened that day at Dylan's before I can let myself give all the way into him. I have to know why they were saying those things about me. I don't want to be some toy he is playing with just to get his rocks off. I have too many feelings for him and I want my first time to be with someone who feels the same about me. I decide to go upstairs to the computer and see if he is on. I see his name and the list and quickly click on it

Y/n: heyyy  
Rebdomine: miss me already?(:  
Y/n: so cocky. We need to talk soon..  
Rebdomine: I know we do. Want to come over tomorrow afternoon? My parents are leaving in the morning for their trip.  
Y/n: you gonna come get me. Cuz that's a long walk..  
Rebdomine: of course. 12 good for you?  
Y/n: see you then.

Eric's pov

This is going to be awful. She's either going to freak out and never speak to me again or turn us in. Neither of those options are good for me. I don't even know how to start the conversation but it has to happen. I really like her. I guess I love her. I know I've never felt like this before that's for damn sure.   
I decide to sit at my desk and write all my thoughts down in my journal. Before I even start to write it hits me. I'm not going to tell her anything. I'm going to show her.

Y/n pov

I woke up to the alarm going off on my bedside table that I had set before I fell asleep. 10am. I get out of bed and hop in the shower then throw on a pair of shorts and my white zombie shirt. My stomache is in knots so I decide against eating right now. Im terrified of what he is going to say. It can't be good whatever it is. Why would Dylan want him to stay away from me? My thoughts race as I sit on the couch in my basement starring into space.  
At 11:45 I walk up stairs and grab my Chucks that are by the front door and put them on. When I go to open the front door I see Eric's car already in front of my house. I grab my backpack and close the door locking it behind me before heading to his car.   
"You just gonna sit there all day without telling me you are here?" I ask as I get in the passenger side.  
"Guess I'm being a creeper today." He says smiling.  
"Nah I just didn't know if you would he ready and I didn't want to rush you. I guess I left my house too early." He says as he puts the car in drive and starts down the street.  
We ride in awkward silence for what feels like forever when I clear my throat breaking the awkwardness  
"Soooooo... Does Dylan hate me or something?" I ask wanting to get this started and over with.  
He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye for a second before he says  
"Wait until we get to my house and I will explain." He says looking nervous.  
Which makes me even more nervous.  
We get to his house and he parks and sits in the car without getting out. I don't know what to do so I continue sitting in silence to.  
"You are never going to speak to me again after today. And I just want you to know that I really do care about you. I want you to remember that okay?" He asks without looking at me.  
"Eric you are scaring me" I say trying to fight off the tears in my eyes.   
He opens his door and gets out  
"Come on." He says as I start to follow.  
We walk in the front door and as we get to the stairs leading to the basement my heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest. It's hard to pick up my feet to get down the stairs and I'm shaking so much I feel like I'm going to fall the rest of the way down.  
He walks into his bedroom and holds the door open for me and then closes it behind us once I'm in.  
He walks over and sits down at his desk  
"Come here and sit down" he says wheeling his desk chair closer to his bed.  
I do as I'm told and walk over and sit on the edge of the bed facing him.  
"I have something I want you to read. It's going to be long and it's bad shit. But it will tell you exactly why me and Dylan both said what we said. When you get done reading it we can talk or I will take you home. It's up to you." He says as he reaches in the drawer on his desk and hands me a notebook. I look down at it and then back up at him.  
"I'm not going to read your journal Eric. That's weird." I say feeling confused as to why he wants me to read it in the first place.  
"Y/n I need you to do this. I can't form the words to tell you what you want to know. It's all in there. I'm going to go upstairs while you read it and you can come get me when you are done." He says as he starts towards the door.  
"Please stay in here. I'm feeling super weird about all of this.." I say stopping him.  
He walks back and sits in his desk chair turning away from me. Without a words he picks up a pencil and starts drawing.  
I take a deep breath and open his journal. The first several pages are pretty boring. I'm wondering why he wanted me to do this. Until I get to a entry about a school day at then end of the last school year. He talks about the bullying and having to finally tell his parents because he came home with a bloody lip and black eye. I can feel the anger coming off of the pages. He goes on to talk about a plan him and V have. I have heard him call Dylan V a million times. V for Vodka. It keeps getting darker as he describes the bullying and the plans they have. NBK? I keep saying it written all on the sides of the pages along with a lot of dark drawing and his nickname "Reb". As I get to the last page I see where he says something about April. His writing is hard to read but I can make out the majority of it. I've been sitting here reading this for so long and I still don't understand what's going on. I finish the last page and close the journal and sit starring at the back of his head as he continues drawing.  
"I still don't know what the fuck is going on!" I say louder than I intended feeling frustrated.  
He spins around looking at me   
"You just scared the fuck out of me!" He says wide eyed.  
He gets up and comes to sit beside me on the bed.  
"Eric I don't understand what's going on." I say looking down at the closed journal on the bed.  
"Y/n we are going to blow up the school." He says with no emotion.  
I can feel myself starting to panic. I back away from him on the bed.  
"You are going to blow up the school because a few kids bully you? Is this a joke? You are fucking with me right?" I say feeling crazy.  
"No y/n I'm not. We haven't got it all planned out yet but that's the gist of it. That's why Dylan said what he did that day. And I went with it. But I didn't mean what I said." He says picking at his hands.  
"I wanted to be with you right up until the end. You make me so fucking happy." He says reaching over for me. I pull away from him  
"Until the end? You mean until you spend the rest of your like in fucking prison?!" I say feeling myself getting more angry by the second.  
He reaches over and forcefully pulls me to him wrapping his arms around me as I struggle to get free.  
"No y/n. We plan on never leaving the school." He says into my ear.  
I feel the tears start to fall before I can stop them. I let out a loud sob trying to push him away from me but he won't let go.  
"Please don't tell anyone." He says way too calmly.  
"Don't do this Eric. You can't do this." I say still sobbing into his shoulder.  
"Please don't say that to me. Because you are the only person in the world I might actually listen to and I don't want to not do it. I'm invested." He says letting go of me.  
I reach back and pull him into me this time not letting him go.  
"Eric you have to listen to me. Those idiots aren't worth this shit. You think I don't want to off the fuckers to? I see how they treat you guys. Hell they have said shit to me to. But it's almost over! We only have 6 months of school left and it's over! If you do this then everything is over." I say pleading with him.  
He stands up pulling away from me quickly  
"Come on I'll take you home." He says coldly.   
"No. Come here and talk to me" I say trying to pull him back down.  
"Stop it y/n. This is how it's going to be." He says pulling his keys out of his pocket to show me he isn't giving in.  
I follow him up the stairs trying to stop the tears that are falling freely from my eyes.  
The drive to my house is silent. I don't care at this point.   
I get out of the car without a word and hurry to my room so Marie doesn't see me crying because I don't know what I would tell her.   
I collapse on my bed crying so hard I think I may hyperventilate. 

Eric's pov

SHIT! She wasn't supposed to react like that. She was supposed to be scared and want to get away from me. Instead she wants to fucking save me. Go figure. She's absolutely perfect in every single way. But she isn't going to stop me.   
I drive to V's house hoping he is home. When I get almost all the way up his long ass driveway I see him leaning up against Robyn's car with her in front of him. Are they making out?! Jesus Christ this is a fucked up day!  
I park and get out and start walking their way as Robyn turns and looks at me.  
"Hey Eric!" She says happily.  
"What's up Reb?" Dylan says with his eyebrow raised.  
"We need to talk. Alone." I says looking at Robyn.  
"Ehh okay. I was leaving anyways." She says looking pissed off. Before she can get in her car V pulls her back and kisses her again.   
I'm starting to get impatient with this whole situation.  
"V come on man I'm serious!" I say.  
Robyn starts her car and pulls out of the driveway as V walks towards me.  
"Thanks for ruining my moment." He says folding his arms and standing in front of me.  
"Y/n read my journal." I blurt out.  
The color drains from his face.  
"What the fuck Reb?! Did you not hide it better than that?!" He says pacing in front of me.  
"I let her read it. I told you I wanted to tell her. I had to" I say trying to stay calm while my insides are vibrating.  
"She gonna turn us in man. We are going to jail!" He says still pacing.  
"I don't have a clue what she's going to do. I couldn't really read her. She cried alot and begged me not to do it. I think she wants to save me or some shit." I say as I watch him pace.  
He stops walking and looks at me more calm than before.  
"Of fucking course she does. You two are something else." He says with a grin.  
"Dude I'm scared shitless. I have no plans of going to jail. Let's just do this shit and get it over with!" I say feeling hopeless.  
"Nahh man I'm out. I told you I'm not doing this shit anymore. I have something to live for finally." He says looking down the driveway.  
"V come on man. We are in this together. The army of two dude. The shit is going to hit her and I'll probably never hear from her again. I have no one but you. Please man" I plead with him feeling like a little bitch.  
"Reb I love Robyn. And I won't hurt her like that. I'm gonna tell you the truth hear and you have to stay calm." He says looking nervous.  
"V I cant take much more before I lose my shit." I say.  
"Reb it was never about the bombs and shit for me. I wanted a way out and you helped me find one. I just went along with this shit because I knew I would have to pull the trigger on myself in the end. I couldn't bitch out. I don't want to die anymore. I'm fucking happy for the first time in my life. And I want you to be to. Let's get rid of everything and just pretend the shit never happened!" He says holding onto my arm.  
I look at him for the longest thinking about what he said. He wants me to be happy. To find love. Well I found it and I'm pretty sure I've fucked it all up partly with his help.  
"That's not gonna work for me." I say coldly as I walk to my car and get in cranking it and pulling out of his driveway.


	16. If You Love Me Let Me Go

Y/n pov

My brain is fucked. The last 2 months have been absolute hell and it just keeps getting worse. I can't for the life of me understand why I can't just walk away from him. Just let him go. Something about him just keeps pulling me back in. I can't shake him. I've been laying in my bed starring at the ceiling since he dropped me off. I cant stop thinking about everything I read. It really just seemed like the rantings of a angry teenager. But afterwards when he explained it he seemed very convinced that they are going through with this. The thought of losing him, of him not being here anymore, it makes me sick to my stomach. I can feel it coming up my throat as I run to the bathroom and barely make it in time.  
As I'm cleaning my face at the sink I hear someone coming down the stairs.  
"Y/n you okay?" It's Marie.  
"Yeah I'm fine just a stomache ache." I say lying.  
"Well some guy is here to see you. I think he said his name is Dylan?" She says through the door.  
Great. Just what I need right now..  
"He can come down" I say as I open the door looking at her.  
"Y/n when is the last time you ate? You look sickly!?" She says looking back at me.  
Come to think of it I can't even remember the last time I actually ate a meal. My life is falling apart and I think my body may be to.

Dylan's pov

I had to come and talk to her myself. After Eric said that he told her everything I got scared as shit. But when he said he thinks she wants to save him that changed. I think she can. I'm not going through with it but I know that he will and I can't stop him. But she can.  
I wait at the front door of her house as her sister goes to get her.  
"Hey Dylan you can go on down to her room." She says as she comes back up the stairs.  
"Thanks" I say feeling awkward.  
I walk down the stairs and see her coming out of her room. She looks rough and I didn't think I could ever say that about y/n. She looks like she's withering away.  
She walks over and sits on the couch and stares at the wall in front of her. I walk over and sit beside her in silence for a few mintues before she speaks  
"Don't worry. I'm not going to tell anyone." She says not looking at me.  
"I'm not doing it y/n. I told him twice now that I'm not. I'm out." She shoots her head towards me looking at me for the first time.  
"So what's going on then?! Is he doing this alone?!" She asks starting to cry.  
"I honestly don't know what he is going to do. But y/n I think you could stop him." I say looking into her sad eyes.  
"He told me not to try." She says as she lets the tears flow.  
"Fuck what he says. He loves you y/n. Everyone sees it. He even told me he was falling in love with you before that day at my house. I'm sorry I fucked everything up for you guys. If I knew then what I do now then it wouldn't have happened!" I say looking away.  
"What because you have Robyn now? You found someone and now you are out. Why can't I be that for him??" She asks covering her face with her hands.  
"Hey come here" I say moving closer so I can hug her.  
"I think you can be that for him. You just have to show him that you aren't going anywhere and that you love him. You do don't you?" I ask not even knowing how she feels really.  
"With everything in my soul. I don't know why after how he keeps hurting me but I do!" She says as she cries in my arms.  
"Then keep doing what you are doing. Be there for him. Don't walk away from him. I think between the two of us we can make him see that there is a different way out." I say and she pulls away from me wiping her eyes.  
"I can try Dylan. That's all I know to say. But when he pushes me away like he did today I can't handle it. I would rather him scream and yell at me then push me away and give me the silent treatment. I didn't do anything to deserve that!" She says starting to cry again. I really hate it when girls cry like this.  
"All we can do is try y/n" I say.

Eric's pov

Well fuck me. I guess it's a one man army now. Fuck it. I came up with the plans to begin with. I'll just continue on by myself. I just have to make myself stay away from y/n as hard as that will be. She is a distraction. Not just that though, I don't want to hurt her. So back to the plan of making her hate me. I open my journal and start to write when I hear my mom call from upstairs  
"Eric, y/n is on the phone for you!" Nope. Not doing it.  
"Tell her I'm busy!" I yell up to her.  
I have to stay strong here.

Y/n pov

I can't believe he won't come to the phone! If he is planning on avoiding me the next few months he is out of his mind. After talking to Dylan I'm feeling better about the situation. He says that Eric is in love with me. There's those mutual feelings I was looking for. I have to figure out how to stop him. I also have to figure out how to kill my emotions because if he is going to continue being a dick to me then I'm going to kill him with kindness.  
I sit down at the computer and sign on and the first person I see is Robyn.

Y/n: girrrrrl  
RA99: hey!! What's up?  
Y/n: it has been the day from hell and it's only 6. I think I should go hide under my covers for the rest of my life!!  
RA99: no no you can't do that!! Let find something to do!! Tomorrow is Halloween do there has to be a party going on or something with school out for fall break??  
Y/n: I feel like crap Robyn...  
Y/n: ?????? Robyn

What the hell. She just signed off and left me hanging.  
I hear the notification of someone signing on and see his name. Here goes nothing.

Y/n: hey :)  
Rebdomine: hey.  
Y/n: I guess that's better than nothing. You planning on having your mom lie for you everytime I call?  
Rebdomine: I was busy.  
Y/n: okay Eric. Keep doing what you're doing but I'm not going to make this easy for you.  
Rebdomine: what do you mean by that?  
Y/n: I mean I'm going to make it hard. So fucking hard baby.. :)  
Rebdomine: are you talking dirty to me?  
Y/n: do you want me to be?  
Rebdomine: God damnit woman.  
Y/n: :)  
Rebdomine: what are you doing right now?  
Y/n: I'm talking to you. What else could I be doing?  
Rebdomine: go get ready. I'm coming to get you.  
Y/n: yes sir!  
Rebdomine: I could get used to sir.

As soon as he signs off I run downstairs and brush my teeth and throw my hair up into a bun. I go in my room change into jeans and grab my hoodie to throw on. It gets cold at night now which I hate. My heart is pounding as I head up the stairs to the door to wait for him. I have to try not to get upset when he lashes out at me.  
As I walk I walk out onto my front porch I see Dylan's car at Robyns house. I can't help but smile to myself when I see them walking towards it holding hands.  
Robyn looks over and sees me  
"Hey creep! What are you doing?" She asks as they walk closer.  
"I'm waiting on Eric. He said he is coming to get me..." I say looking at Dylan with wide eyes.  
"Where are you guys going?? I think me and Dylan are going to that scary movie in the park thing! Y'all should come!" She says happily.  
I hear Eric's car turn on my street as I say  
"I guess that's up to him. He's the one dragging me out of the house." I say dramatically.  
As Eric gets closer I can see him glaring at Dylan.  
"What up Reb?" Dylan says to him smiling. He seems to be taking the same approach as me.  
"You ready?" He asks looking at me.  
"Where are we going? They are going to that movie in the park thing! Can we go there?" I ask excitedly.  
He looks at me strangely for a few seconds like he is trying to figure me out before answering.  
"Whatever you want to do." He says.  
"Yay!!" Me and Robyn say at the same time.  
"After we go get food. Just you and me." He says squinting on me.  
"I guess I could eat." I say as he grabs my hand pulling me to his car.  
"See y'all there then!" Robyn calls out.  
Once in his car he asks  
"Where do you want to eat?" Catching me off guard.  
"Ummm McDonald's?" I say not really caring.  
"Y/n this is a date. I'm not taking you to McDonald's." He says looking at the road.  
"A date? I didn't even out makeup on! You didn't ask me on a date!" I say before thinking.  
"Would you have said no if I asked?" He replies  
"Of course not." I say immediately.  
"then there was no need in asking." He states glancing at me with a sideways smirk.  
I smile to myself feeling like maybe he is loosening up a little.  
"So. Where would you like to eat on our first date?"  
My first date ever... I think to nyself.  
"Mexican??" I ask shyly  
"Seriously? Okay then.." he says looking kind of disgusted as he quickly changes lanes and pulls into the restraunt.  
"We could go somewhere else.." I say feeling like I did something wrong.  
"Nah we are already here" he says as he gets out of the car.  
I have to remember to keep a check on my emotions, I think to myself as I follow him inside.  
Once seated at a table I dig in to the chips and dip placed in front of us. I feel like a complete pig but I can't stop eating. I'm so hungry my stomach is growling as I eat.  
"Damn woman. You hungry?" He says looking amused.  
" To be honest with you I haven't eaten a meal in a while. You are kind of making me crazy Eric." I say taking a drink of the water our waiter just brought.  
"I'm making you crazy? I don't even know who I am anymore.." he says looking down at his hands.  
I can feel that familiar ache in my chest and I push it away.  
"Well I think you are pretty great. Whoever you are." I say grabbing another chip.  
"I know what you are doing y/n. Are you going to just act like nothing happened earlier? stop being so nice." He says looking at me.  
I'm not acting like anything. I am aware of what happened earlier trust me." I say feeling unsure of myself and how to handle this. After thinking for a split second I say  
"I've decided that if I can't change your mind then in going to enjoy being with you while I can. If I have 6 months left then I guess I'll get what I can take."  
He looks at me with his mouth opened in shock.  
"Are you serious?" He asks.  
"I guess I am. I don't know what else to do. I love you Eric. I am completely in love with you. And it breaks my heart to know what you are going to do but if I can't stop you then I'm going to love you for as long as you have left." I say looking into his eyes and reaching for his hand. I didn't mean to let all of that out but fuck it. He needs to know how I feel. Maybe.. just maybe.

Eric's pov

I know it's awkward but I can't help but watch her as she eats. She has no shame. And I really do love that about her. She doesn't care what anyone thinks she just does and says whatever she wants.  
When we finish eating I pay and we head to the car. I reach out for her hand as we walk and hers immediately goes into mine. Like it belongs there. I don't know why she is being so nice but I have to make it stop. I shouldn't have picked her up but my brain and my heart are fighting about it. My brain knows I need to get away from her but my heart pulls me straight to her.  
When we get to the park I pull the blanket out of the trunk and she looks around for V and Robyn. I kind of hope she doesn't find them honestly.  
Of course she does. She helps me spread the blanket out next to there's right as the movie starts. The exorcist.  
"This is one of my all time favorite movies!!" She says as the opening scene comes on.  
As I look around I notice that it's mostly teenagers here on blankets and lawn chairs. I bet most of them go to our school. I decide to test the waters.  
I lean over towards her and whisper in her ear  
"Most of these people will be dead in a few months".  
She darts her head towards me and her eyes are wide as she says back to me  
"You know just what to say don't you."  
Not the answer I was expecting but I know she is trying to play it cool.  
I can't help but stare at her as she watched the movie. Her facial expressions change to go with whatever is going on in the movie. I glance over to the side and see V and Robyn making out.  
"I bet we could see the screen from my car" I say leaning close to her ear again.  
She shivers noticeably at me talking in her ear.  
"Are you trying to get me alone in your car Eric?" She says without looking at me.  
"You know I am. Fuck this movie." I say planting a soft kiss on her neck.  
I look up at her face to see her smiling.  
"There's too many people here. Unlike some I'm not a fan of PDA" she says directing it towards Robyn and V. Robyn flips us off without coming up for air.  
"We can go to your house though if you want to. I've seen this movie a million times" she says looking back at me.  
Without another word I grab her hand and pull her up and grab the blanket with my other hand.  
"Later guys" I say before walking to my car practically dragging y/n behind me.


	17. Love, Hate, Sex and Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were warned!!

Y/n pov

He dragged me to his car so fast I thought I was going to fall several times.  
"Eric slow down!" I say laughing.  
"I'm tired of going slow." He says not sounding like he's joking at all.  
I know it shouldn't, but his words excite me. They also make me super nervous. But he told me how he feels and I believe him. So I'm tired of going slow to, I admit to myself.  
When we finally make it to his car he throws the blanket back into the trunk as I get in. He gets in and before he starts the car he leans over to me pulling me into a passion filled kiss.  
"Should I stop at the store?" He asks as he starts the car and pulls out.  
"No I think I'm good.." I say not understanding the question.  
"Y/n. Do I need condoms or not?" He says almost sounding angry.  
"Oh! Uh.. I'm not 100% on that right at this second.." I respond feeling extra nervous now.  
"You didn't say no, so I'm stopping." He says as he pulls into a gas station.  
He puts the car in park and gets out without a word to me. Once he is out I feel the smile on my face growing by the second. I don't know if I can go through with this or not but just the thought of being that close to him again is doing things to me.  
I see him walking out of the store headed my way so I try to force my smile to go away before he reaches me.  
"What are you so happy about?" He asks as soon as he gets back in.  
So that didn't work...  
"I'm just happy I guess." I say back to him.  
He looks at me for a second with squinted eyes before he puts the car in drive and heads towards his house.  
The closer we get the harder my heart beats. I feel like such a child at how nervous I am. I know what I want. And he knows it to. But I'm so scared at the same time.  
We pull into his drive way and he immediately gets out of the car and stops of the front of it waiting on me.   
Why does he not seem nervous at all? I think to myself as I walk towards him.  
"Where did that smile go?" He ask grabbing my hand as we walk towards his front door.  
"If I'm being honest, I was good until we got here. Now I'm fucking scared.." I say squeezing his hand.  
He stops in his tracks and spins around to face me.  
"Good. Maybe you should be scared" he says with his face inches from mine.  
"Eric you won't hurt me." I say with a raised eyebrow and my own smirk.  
"You sure about that?" He says forehead pressed to mine.  
"I'm sure. You won't hurt me." I say as I break the contact and start walking again leaving him standing there.  
"Only if you want me to" he says from behind me as he slaps me right on the ass.  
"Fuck!" I yell out as I start to laugh.  
"That actually fucking hurt asshole!"   
He is laughing now to as we walk through the front door and down the basement stairs to his room.  
I walk in first and he follows closing the door behind him.  
I start to feel myself getting nervous again as I sit down on the edge of his bed.  
"You know I was joking right. You should never be scared of me." He says coming to sit beside me.  
"Maybe.." I reply not looking at him.  
"Hey? Don't go there. I would never in a million years hurt you on purpose. Yeah I'm a dick and I like to be in charge and all. But all you have to do is say stop and I stop." He says looking my way.  
When I finally force myself to make eye contact with him I see the intensity in his eyes.  
"How about we just hang out? We don't have to do anything you aren't ready to do." He says putting his arm around me and pulling me into a side hug.  
"Okay I guess.. what would you normally be doing if you were here alone?" I ask still a little nervous.  
"Probably playing Doom." He says as he stands up and goes to sit in his desk chair.  
"I'm really bad at computer games." I say as I watch him cut the computer on and load the game.  
He gets it going and starts telling me everything about it and how to play as he goes through a few levels. I'm not the least bit interested in the game but the way he is talking so freely catches me off guard. I can tell it's something he really likes.  
"Look, check out the weapon I use!" He says as I lean closer trying to see.  
"I can't really see anything from the bed" I say as I stand up.  
He takes one hand off of the keyboard and pulls me down into his lap and quickly puts the other hand back going right back into the game.  
I sit there for a minute trying to act like I give a shit about any of it and when I get bored with that I decide to turn around straddling him. Arms around his neck and chin on his shoulder.  
" Not that I'm complaining about this, but you can't really see anything sitting like that." He says with a smile.  
"I prefer it this way.." I say smiling into his shoulder.  
"I may never be able to play Doom any other way now." He says laughing.  
"I'm not distracting you?" I ask.  
"Not a bit."   
"How about now?" I ask as I start to lightly kiss his neck.  
"It's hard to distract me from this y/n" he says sounding serious.  
Feeling like I need to step my game up I move his shirt to the side and bite down on his collar bone before kissing my way up to his ear.  
"Now?" I whisper.  
"Nope" he says and I feel him swallow hard right afterwards.  
"You are so fucking lying!" I laugh.  
"Yep" he says as he flips the switch off on his computer and pushes the chair away standing up with me around his waist.  
"You win" he says throwing me down on his bed.  
"That's what I thought!" I say sticking my tongue out at him.  
He crashes down on top of me with his arms on both sides my of head  
"I will bite that tongue off woman" he says grabbing my bottom lip with his teeth.  
He quickly turns it into a kiss as I slide further up the bed and he follows.  
Once my head hits his pillow he starts to attack my neck with kisses and gentle bites.  
"You like it when I bite huh?" He says as I throw my head back giving him better access.  
I start to get over heated and push him up so I can take my hoodie off.  
As I pull it up my shirt starts to come up to and I struggle to get it back down and the hoodie off.  
"You could help ya know!" I say feeling embarrassed.  
"If I help that shirt isn't staying on.." he says without missing a beat.  
"So help" I say smiling at him.  
Without a word he pulls both of them off without a issue and pushes me back down on his bed.  
"You are so beautiful" he says looking down at me.  
I feel my cheeks getting red with him starring at me so I pull him back down to me.  
"You not gonna let me look at you?" He says laughing.  
"Not unless you are going to take your clothes off and let me stare at you to!" I say feeling embarrassed.  
"Fair enough" he says as he brings his lips back to mine.  
As the kiss gets more heated I can feel the fire growing in my stomache. I decide in that moment that I'm not going to stop him this time. Even though I'm still really nervous I know that I want this.  
He breaks the kiss and goes down to kiss on my neck as he puts his hand on my thigh bringing it up to his hip and starts to grind on me. I can feel his hardness through his pants as he does and my heart starts to race.  
"Why don't you take those pants off" he says breathless into my ear.  
Without thinking I reach down and unbutton my jeans and kick my shoes off the end of his bed.  
"Why don't you take them off" I say smiling up at him.  
He sits up on his knees and slowly pulls them down and throws them in the floor. Now I'm laying on his bed in nothing but my bra and panties while he is fully clothed.  
I sit up a little grabbing the bottom of his shirt to pull it off and he stops me hesitating for a minute.  
"What's wrong?" I ask him feeling like I may have done something wrong.  
"I'll take my shirt off only if you promise to hold all questions until we finish doing whatever we are going to do." He says not looking at me.  
I nod my head and grab his shirt again and this time he lets me pull it off and I immediately see what he was so worried about. But as promised I don't ask questions.  
I reach back down and find the button at the top of his pants and start trying to undo it with no luck.  
"Okay help. I feel like a idiot." I say trying not to laugh at myself.  
He reaches down and undoes his pants and kicks his shoes and them off of the bed to lay in a pile with my clothes.  
"Eric I have no idea what I'm doing and I feel so stupid" I say feeling worried that I'm doing everything wrong.  
"Yeah me to" he says with a grin.  
"Let's figure it out together" he says as he comes back down on top of me pulling my knee back up to rest next to his thigh.  
He starts to grind on me again but this time without so much clothing between us.   
I close my eyes and concentrate trying not to give away how good it feels.  
He raises himself up balancing on one hand and brings the other to touch my cheek and traces all the way down the side of my body sending chills everywhere.  
He takes one finger and slowly traces the top of my panties back and forth making my heart race in my chest.  
"Are you okay? Tell me to stop at any time and I will" he says looking down at me.  
I nod my head in response which gives him the confidence to keep going.   
He sits up and hooks his fingers in the top of my panties and pulls them down throwing them into the growing pile of clothes on the floor before his hand is right back on me but this time skin on skin.  
He slowly runs his fingers up and down before he stops  
"As bad as I want to touch you like this I don't want my fingers to be the first thing inside of you" he says reaching back over the end of the bed for his pants and pulls out the small box of condoms he bought.  
He must have saw the panic on my face because he says  
"All you have to do is tell me to stop. I won't be mad. A little uncomfortable but not mad." He says with a smile which makes me feel better.  
"I'm scared." I say not wanting to hide how I'm feeling.  
"We can go as slow as you want baby" he says while opening the box and pulling one out.  
He opens the foil package and struggles to get the condom on. I can see him getting embarrassed so I turn my head trying to find something else to look at.  
"Apparently I'm nervous to" he says laughing to break the awkwardness.  
Once he gets adjusted he throws his pants back in the floor and comes down on top of me on his elbows.   
"You ready?" He asks   
I shake my head not able to make words come out.  
He lines himself up and slowly starts to push inside of me.  
I hold my breath scared of what's coming. All I can think about is learning about this shit in sex Ed in 10th grade and one of the upper class girls telling everybody about how bad it hurts and how there's so much blood.   
I try to clear my head and relax as he starts to push inside me with more force.  
"Owww fuck!" I say pushing him back a little.  
"Shit I'm sorry! You want me to stop?" He asks looking worrried.  
"I want you to stop asking me that Eric! It hurts a little but I knew it would. Just get this part over with!" I say almost pleading with him.  
He smiles down at me  
"Just remember you told me to get it over with" he says as he pushes himself all the way inside of me.  
I throw my head back and try to breathe through the pain as he stops moving and keeps himself inside of me.  
"Better?" He asks as he nuzzles my cheek with his nose.  
"I don't know" I say feeling like I might cry. Not from the pain but from the emotions I'm feeling.  
Once he starts to move again it's a different feeling. Still a little pain but definitely more pleasure.  
"Fuck you feel so good" he says into my ear causing my body to react.  
My hips start moving on their own as I match his pace.  
I didn't even realize I was moaning until he acknowledged it.  
"I'm not gonna last long if you keep doing that in my ear" he growls at me.  
"I don't think I have any control over it" I say breathlessly.  
He picks up that pace and I start to see stars letting me know that I'm about to reach my peak.   
I can't control my body as I start to grab at his back sinking my nails in as it washes over me.  
As soon as I start to come back down he pushes himself in me as far as he can and finishes to.  
He lays his head down on my shoulder breathing heavily and we stay that way for what feels like forever.  
Eventually he pulls himself up and walks out if the room into his bathroom.   
I start to sit up to grab my clothes and realize we never even got around to taking my bra off. I start to laugh to myself as he walks back in with a towel around his waist.  
"What's funny?" He says looking concerned.  
Which makes me laugh even harder.  
"Oh gawd don't look so upset! I'm laughing because I still have my bra on!" I finally get out.  
He smirks at me with a raised eyebrow and and picks his clothes up headed back to the bathroom.  
"You have lost your mind" he says back at me.  
I finish getting dressed as he walks back in also fully dressed now.  
"You want me to take you home?" He asks.  
"You trying to get rid of me already?" I ask feeling kind of hurt and I start to have a flash back of what him and Dylan said that day. I can feel myself starting to panic.  
"Hey! No! I didn't mean it like that! Y/n come here!" He says coming at me and pulling me into a hug.  
" Fuck it. Spend the night with me." He says into my shoulder   
I feel my pulse starting to slow down as I start to calm myself. I can't let go of him yet though. That really scared me.  
"I will if you want me to" I say with a shaky voice.  
"I'm so sorry that came out all wrong. I swear I didn't mean it like that. Stay with me tonight." He says not letting me go.  
"I kind of want to go home and shower actually. I kind of feel gross. Why don't you stay with me. Marie won't care." I say hoping he says yes.  
"Let's go" he says taking my hand and leading the way.  
We go in the basement door since it's late and I don't want to wake everyone up. I tell Eric to find a movie while I take a quick shower. When I get out he is asleep on the couch and never even cut a movie on.  
I walk over to him and shake him softly.  
"Hey! Come on and cuddle me in my bed" I say smiling down at him.  
"Gladly" he says as he sleepily follows me into my room and closes the door before climbing into bed and wrapping his arms around me.  
"I'm sorry I hurt you" he says softly.  
"Which time?" I say smiling.  
"Eh, I guess all the times" he says and I can hear that he is smiling.  
"Goodnight Eric" I say as I snuggle in closer to him.  
He kisses the top of my head in response and we are both out in seconds.


	18. This is Halloweeeeeeeeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bare with me. I'm having a super hard time not just making this a complete smut story. 😂

Dylan's pov

When me and Robyn got to the park and found a good spot we spread the blanket out and sat talking until time for the movie to start. The last few weeks have been nothing short of amazing. I had no idea this kind of happiness could exist. I never thought I would consider sitting on a blanket in a park fun, but with her it really is.  
"So Halloween's tomorrow. We gonna talk about that?" She says pulling me out of my thoughts.  
"Actually how about we don't talk about it. I know you are all about these plans and all but let's just let whatever happens happen." I say reaching for her hand.  
"That kind of makes me more nervous. I like to know when things are going to happen Dylan. That's why I said that date." She says looking worried.  
Before we can talk anymore about it y/n comes walking up.  
"There y'all are! Eric over here!" She yells out still walking our way.  
I see Eric behind her carrying a blanket looking less than thrilled.  
At least they seem to be getting back to normal. Hopefully he doesn't fuck it up and she can steer him away from his plans.  
It's weird thinking about them as just his plans now, I think to myself as I squeeze Robyn's hand.

Robyn's pov

As the movie started Dylan laid on his side with his hand propping his head up. I couldn't help but steal glances at him and Everytime I looked over he was looking at me. Eventually I laid down beside him deciding not to fight it anymore. Within minutes the movie or nobody in the park existed. Just the two of us. I could die happily as long as his arms were around me. When we decided that Halloween would be the day we took our relationship all the way I didn't realize it would be here so fast. I'm really nervous about it. I know he is getting tired of waiting but I don't want us to mess everything up..  
At one point I hear y/n say something about our PDA and the next thing I knew her and Eric were gone. Hopefully they have figured their shit out. I will definitely ask about all that tomorrow, I think to myself as I find Dylan's lips with mine again.

Halloween day

Eric's pov

I open my eyes and see the sun coming through the window above her bed. As my brain starts to wake up I realize she is still wrapped up tightly in my arms. I don't even care that my right arm is completely dead. I'm not moving until I have to. I bend down and kiss her on her forehead and she smiles in her sleep. I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life. Thank the fucking stars that she is giving me another chance. At least I think that's what this is. We haven't done much talking.. I let my thoughts drift back to last night at my house. I felt like such a idiot the whole time not having a clue what I was doing. It definitely helped that she didn't either. I hope we get to do a lot more of that.. I try to change my thoughts as I feel my body starting to react to her being so close to me in her bed. I take a deep breath in and let it out which makes her stir.

Y/n pov

I roll onto my side and start to stretch before I realize that Eric is laying in my bed starring at me. When I finally open my eyes and see him I immediately roll back into his chest hiding my face.  
"About time you wake up" he says wrapping his arms back around me in a hug.  
"Ughhhh too early for words" I say snuggling back in.  
"Nu uh. Wake up. My arm is dead asleep and I don't know how much longer I can control myself with you all up against me like that" he says seriously.  
Without a word I roll over and pull his arms back around me pushing my ass into him and smiling to myself.  
"Damnit woman" he says pulling his lower half away from me.  
"You wake me up and then run from me? Rude." I say laughing at him.  
"I don't think your sister would appreciate me raping you in her basement with them up there" he says and I can tell he is smiling without looking at him.  
"You can't rape the willing baby" I say as I pull away from him and sit up on the side of my bed stretching.  
"You say some shit like that then abandon me?" He pouts at me.  
"I have to. Don't want to piss my sister off." I say smiling over my shoulder at him. I stand up and walk to the other side of my bed grabbing his hands and pulling.  
"Plus I'm starving so get up!" I say dramatically.  
He pulls back on my arms and I fall on top of him in my bed.  
"Eric. I'm gonna need you to get the fuck out of my bed!" I say fighting to get away.  
"Or what?" He says as he flips me over so that he is on top of me.  
"Or we may never leave this room" I say licking my lips.  
"Okay okay. I'll get up. But only because I wasn't expecting you to go along with that" he says smirking as he rolls off of me and stands up pulling me with him.  
"So why don't you go get ready and let's get some food and go back to my house and figure out what everybody is gonna do tonight?" He says as he puts his shoes on.  
I go to my closet and grab some jeans and a t-shirt and start to pull my pajamas off as he finishes with his shoes and turns my way  
"Shit uh.. want me to wait outside?" He asks nervously.  
"You do remember that we had sex like 8 hours ago right?" I say laughing at him as I continue getting dressed.  
"Well yeah but that doesn't mean I'm gonna strip down and change clothes in front of you." He says with his head turned towards the door trying not to look at me.  
"Well that's fucking weird. I saw you completely naked dude." I say laughing.  
"I guess I'm weird then. And let's not talk about that." He says with a worried look as he finally turns his head my way.  
It hits me what he is referring to and I decide to go ahead and address it.  
"Look, I think that scars show that you went through something hard and you survived it. And I for one am very happy about that. And I love everything about you. So fuck what anybody else thinks." I say as I walk over and kiss him on the cheek.  
"You really are perfect." He says wrapping his arms around me.  
After I finish getting ready we get in his car and head for food.   
"What do you want to eat? Want to go in somewhere or take it to my house?" He says glancing over at me.  
"Waffle house dude. Plllleeeeasse!!!" I say dramatically.  
"Guess I'm not saying no to that then." He says laughing at me.  
When we get inside and get a table he grabs a menu and looks like he is concentrating really hard on it.  
"Are you not gonna look at the menu?" He asks looking confused.  
"Don't judge me. But this is one of my most favorite places to eat. I don't need a menu." I say happily.  
When the waitress comes to take our order I let him go first. A waffle and bacon.   
I start to feel embarrassed as she turns to me.  
"I need a chocolate chip waffle with a bowl of whipped cream on the side, a double order of hash browns, and a double order of bacon." I say trying to ignore how big his eyes are as he looks at me.  
"There is no way you are going to eat all that" he says as the waitress walks away.  
"Ha! Watch me." I reply back.  
Of course I eat every last bite of food on the plates as he looks at me shocked.  
"You eat like a football player" he says as he leaves a tip on the table and pays.  
"Actually I haven't had my appetite back for long. You fucked that all up for me." I say being honest.  
"I said I was sorry" he says as we walk back to his car.  
When we get to his house he calls Dylan to see what the plans are but gets told that he is at Robyn's. So I take the phone and call Robyn who says Dylan is about to leave and wants us to get ready together so she is going to pick me up from Eric's. Still no plans for the night other than me being forced to wear that damn costume..  
Robyn gets to Eric's house shortly and after a quick "see ya later" we were off to my house to grab my costume and then to her house to get ready.  
"So where did you two disappear to last night?" She asks while we both lay sideways on her bed.  
"None of your business." I say with no expression.  
She jerks her head to look at me for a second before she sits straight up  
"Oh hell no! I want all the details!!!" She says hitting me with a pillow.  
"Okay okay stooooop!" I saying laughing.  
"Well.. we did a lot more than kiss.." I say trying to drag it out.  
"Like what?! Y/n tell me I'm dying!!" She says squeezing a pillow in her lap.  
"Jesus Robyn. We had sex. It was fucking weird but really great all at the same time. And then he came to my house with me and spent the night. And then we lived happily ever after." I say grabbing the pillow out of her hands and covering my face.  
"Holy shit!! Are you serious? How the hell did you go from hating him to having sex with him?! I'm so nervous about me and Dylan and we haven't even had a fight!" She says falling back down on the bed beside me.  
"I honestly don't have a answer for that. All I can tell you is that I have a really hard time controlling myself and my emotions around him. It's the weirdest most amazing feeling in the world." I say smiling up at the ceiling thinking to myself how crazy that must sound.  
"Girl you are crazy in love. I'm happy for you! I may kill him if he makes you cry like that again though." She says seriously.  
"I can't even think about that. Hearing you say it made my heart drop." I say feeling a lump in my throat.  
"Okay so my turn to talk." She says interrupting my thoughts.  
"Tonight's the night for me and Dylan." She blurts out.  
"Oh shit.. I didn't know you set a date." I say laughing.   
"Y/n don't laugh at me I'm nervous!" She says sounding irritated.  
"I'm so sorry girl. I'm not laughing at you. So what's the plan? Where are y'all doing this cuz aren't we all going to Eric's?" I ask trying to be supportive.  
"We talked about doing it in his car. We don't have many options really since both of our parents are always around.." she replies.  
"That sounds like a terrible idea for your first time Robyn. But whatever works for you girl" I say hoping she doesn't get upset.  
"Well help me!!" She says sitting back up on her bed. I sit up beside her trying to think of something to say to help but all I can think about is my own night last night. I feel so selfish but it's hard to concentrate on helping her when all I want to do is get back to Eric.  
"Let me think on it. Let's get ready and go back to Eric's house okay?" I say as I stand up and grab the bag the costume is in.  
"So here's the thing. I will put this on to humor you and Eric. But I'm bringing these clothes with me because if all we are doing is hanging out in his basement then I'm not gonna do that all uncomfortable." I say hoping she doesn't fight me on this.  
"Not me girl. I'm keeping mine on all night! Easy access and all." She says wiggling her eyebrows at me and it gives me a idea. Last night was great but it was also pretty awkward. I'm gonna try to kill that awkwardness between us. And he is gonna freak out!  
I laugh out loud as I'm changing into my costume and Robyn notices.  
"What's so funny?" She asks looking at me with a raised eyebrow as she puts her heels on.  
"I was thinking about the whole easy access thing if you want the truth." I reply.  
"Oh yeah? Stealing my ideas?" She asks playfully.  
"Thinking about it." I say as I put my Chucks on.


	19. Cupid Carries A Gun

Eric pov

As I wait on V to come over I sit at my desk writing in my journal. I have to get these thoughts out somehow and it's not like I have anyone to talk to about it anymore. With V being out I have to work on a new plan with just myself. I know y/n thinks she can stop me but she can't. I do love her. More than anything. But this plan was here before her. I have to make them all pay for the way they have treated me for years now. The abuse hasn't stopped and I know it won't. I'm going to spend as much time with y/n as possible though. Now that I've had a taste of her there's no going back. I'll spend the next few months happy with her at least. The thought of how she is going to feel once this is all over really eats at me though. I said I would never intentionally hurt her again but I know I have to. I just hope she can remember the good times and not hate me for this.

Dylan pov

I have to admit that I'm nervous as fuck. I've waited for this night to be with Robyn for months and now that it's finally here I don't know how to feel. I know I want to be with her but I'm so scared of messing it all up. It doesn't make it any better that I'm also nervous about being alone with Reb. He has acted weird towards me since I said I was out. I hope that y/n can talk some sense into him. It was a dumb plan to begin with. I never wanted to hurt anyone except myself. I shouldn't have went along with him but it felt good to finally have a way out set in stone. Now that the stone is broken I feel free. I have Robyn and I'm pretty sure she loves me. She saved me. I could never hurt her.   
Throwing on my long jacket I look in the mirror and make sure the vodka bottles aren't visible underneath before I head downstairs yelling bye to my mom and getting in my car. 

Robyn pov

After y/n and I finished getting ready we headed out to my car to get this night started. I'm so excited to see how this goes! I've waited for so long to actually give myself to someone and I can't believe that the someone is Dylan. I've loved him from afar for ages.   
"Hey can you stop at the gas station? I need to grab something?" Y/n asks interrupting my thoughts.  
"What do you need girl I may have it?" I ask not wanting to stop because I'm anxious to her to Dylan.  
"Do you carry condoms around? Cuz that's what I need." She says laughing.  
"Oh shit! Nope fresh out of those. That's Dylan's job!" I say feeling a little embarrassed.  
"I'm making sure at least one of us has some. I plan on getting drunk and wreckless tonight. I'm not taking any chances!" She says as I pull into the store.  
"You are really going in there to buy condoms dressed like that?" I say looking at her.  
"I mean.. it's Halloween. I'm sure they've seen worse!" She says as she gets out of the car.  
Maybe I should have went with her I think to myself.

Y/n pov

I walk into the store and immediately see the group of guys that I recognize from school. Great.  
I go straight the shelf with the condoms and grab the first box I see just trying to get out of there as fast as I can.  
"Damn where are you partying tonight? Can I come?" One of the guys asks walking my way.  
I try to ignore him as I wait in line impatiently.  
"Hey wait I know you" he says.  
"You are the one that's always with that little bitch boy. Now's your chance to party with a real man and ditch the bitch. What do you say?" He asks standing right behind me.  
"I say that you are disgusting talking to me like that. If you think for one second that I would ever give you the time of day you are out of your mind." I say not looking at him.  
I out my stuff on the counter and pull the money out of my wallet to pay.  
"Ha! Look the little whore is buying condoms. Don't tell me you are fucking that fag?" He says loudly.  
"Well now that doesn't make any sense does it? Considering he's a guy and I'm girl. How the fuck would he be a fag if I need these?" I say holding the condoms up as I walk out of the door.  
Before I can make it to Robyn's car I hear then behind me.  
"You've got a smart ass mouth little girl. Someone should put something in it to shut you up!" He says laughing with the group.  
"Oh honey that's where I'm headed right now." I say as I open the door and get in.  
"Please gawd drive away before I lose my cool." I say as soon as my door is closed.  
"Ooookay. What was that about?" Robyn asks as she pulls back out onto the road.  
"Fucking jocks being jocks. I'm so sick of the way they treat Eric every day at school." I say getting angrier by the second.  
"I agree. Someone should put them in their place!" She says.  
She has no idea how much that statement affected me. My brain went back to Erica journal and all of his plans. In the moment I understood why he feels the way he does. I know it's not right. But I understand.  
I'm pulled out of my thoughts as we turn onto Eric's street.  
"Ooo I'm so glad Dylan is already here! Now I can make my entrance!" She says excitedly.  
"I hope the night goes exactly how you pictured it Robyn. You deserve all the happiness. I mean it!" I say as we pull into the driveway.  
"Awwww thanks girl! You do to. I'm super happy that you and Eric worked your shit out so that we can all be together again!" She says as she pulls her mirror down to check her makeup one more time.  
I feel like a idiot walking up to the door dressed like a hooker. I'm so uncomfortable and very glad I brought extra clothes because I don't see this lasting long.  
Robyn opens the door without knocking and just walks in.  
We start to walk down the stairs and I can hear the boys talking so I grab Robyn's arm and stop her telling her to be quiet with my finger over my lips.  
"It's like nothing you have ever felt before dude. I can't even describe it honestly. I mean don't get me wrong, at first it was so awkward I wanted to crawl in a hole. But once we got passed that it was like.. hell like a out of body experience. For me anyway." I hear Eric saying.  
Robyn leans over and whispers in my ear  
"Is he talking about sex????"   
"Shhhhh" I say quietly shrugging my shoulders.  
"I know it makes me sound like a bitch but I think I'm more nervous than I am excited right now. And she wants to do it in my car. I'm too tall for that shit dude! Add that to the fact that I don't know what the fuck I'm doing and I feel like this is gonna go bad." Dylan says.  
"Fuck that. Y'all are crashing here tonight anyways. Take Kevin's room. It's not like anybody is using it." Eric replies.  
"Holy fuuuuuuck" I hear her whisper.  
I can't take anymore of the eavesdropping so I start moving down the stairs again.  
"Knock knock" I say loudly before I hit the bottom.  
Both boys look our way and stare with jaws open.  
"Damnit woman. Between the way you look and you scaring the shit out of me I'm gonna have a heart attack!" Eric says walking my way.  
"What do you think?" Robyn says twirling around in front of Dylan.  
"You know I think you are beautiful all the time." He says obviously blushing.  
"Okay that was cute we shit!" I say laughing.  
"So what's the plan??" Robyn says wrapping her arms around Dylan as he looks down at her smiling.  
"Well. I don't have any plans except tons of scary movies and alcohol." Eric says still looking at me.  
"What? I got all dressed up to sit in your basement all night on Halloween?" Robyn pouts.  
"I'm so down. Can I put my bag in your room?" I ask Eric as I kick my shoes off.  
"Of course you can." He says still looking at me but this time his eyes look darker.  
I head down the hall into his room and throw my bag on the floor next to his bed and turn to walk back out and run right into his chest.  
"Shit! Now you scared me!" I say laughing.  
"Like I wasn't gonna follow you in here." He says wrapping his arms around me.  
"Mmm it's a little early for that." I say putting my face into his neck.  
"Is it? I think it's perfect timing." He says as he lowers one of his hands to the bottom of my skirt pushing it up until he's grabbing my ass cheek roughly.  
"Stoooop Eric or we are never leaving this room. Robyn and Dylan are out there!" I say pulling away.  
"I'm sure they can manage" he says trying to pull me back.  
" Save it for later babe. The build up will make it that much better." I say smiling at him.  
He squints his eyes at me and almost looks like he is pouting.  
"I can't believe you walk in here looking like that and then deny me." He says putting on his best sad face.  
"Oh gawd you are the worst!" I say laughing.  
"I'm changing out of this and then we are going back out there." I say reaching for my bag.  
"Don't you fucking dare!" He says grabbing my bag before I can reach it.  
"Uhhh come on now. I want to be comfortable. I put this stupid thing on and now I'm over it." I say as we play tug of war with my bag.  
"I said no y/n." He says firmly as he wins and pulls the bag away.  
"Are you seriously telling me what to do?"I ask not sure how I'm feeling about it.  
"I just did. Are you going to listen to me or are you going to piss me off? Your call." He says as he drops my bag on the ground and puts his hands on his hips.  
"I guess I'm going to listen since for some reason that was hot as fuck" I say as I start to walk to the door.  
"Freak" he says laughing behind me.  
What the fuck is wrong with me. That boy does things to me that I can't understand. I'm not one to take orders but coming from him it's a different story. The way my body reacts to him is a betrayal.  
When I make it back to the main room I see Robyn and Dylan on the couch looking awkward.  
"Sorry about that y'all. Someone is in a mood." I say as I sit down in one of the chairs.  
"Watch it woman." Eric says as he comes and sits on the arm of the chair.  
"Why are you guys so quiet? What did I miss?" I ask feeling confused.  
"Nothing. We are all good." Dylan says glancing over at Robyn.  
"Can we please make some drinks or something?" She says as she stands up looking at me.  
"Come on V" Eric says as he stand and walks up the stairs with Dylan following.  
"What's going on girl?" I ask as soon as they are gone.  
"I think we are both just really nervous now that this is actually happening. It's making it so weird" she says looking upset.  
"That's why I told you that y'all were crazy for planning this shit. I mean.. it will be awkward either way. Trust me. Just go with it. Loosen up. It's not like you have to do it tonight if you aren't feeling it." I say walking over to sit by her.

Dylan pov

Walking up the stairs with Reb I hear the girls start to talk as soon as they think we are out of ear shot. I grab his arm stopping him so we can listen.  
Hearing Robyn talk about how nervous she is almost makes me feel better. At least it's both of us.  
When y/n tells her how awkward it's going to be he whispers  
"See. Told you. I think the shit is normal for your first time. But what do I know" he says as he starts back up the stairs.  
I decide in that moment to let it go and stop thinking about it. Over thinking is what's getting me. And y/n is right. It doesn't have to happen tonight.

Eric pov

After me and V make everybody a drink we all settle in and start a movie. I can tell how uncomfortable y/n feels in that costume. I kind of feel bad for not letting her change. But gawd I want to be the one that takes it off of her. As if she knows I'm thinking about her she looks my way. Dylan and Robyn stole the couch so we were forced to sit in the chairs across the room from each other.  
When we make eye contact my body starts to move on its own. I stand up and grab the blanket off the back of the couch and walk to her and throw it over her lap. Now she can sit more comfortable without exposing herself.  
Before I can go back to my chair she reaches out and grabs my hand. When I look back down at her she pats the chair beside her and scoots over. I smile as I sit down pulling her close to me. Just as I'm getting comfortable someone knocks on the basement door.  
When I open it I see Mike, Brooks, Nate, and Michelle.  
"There isn't shit going on anywhere so we are crashing your party!" Mike says as he barges in.  
"Greeeaaat" Robyn says from the couch.  
Y/n stands up and goes to great everyone and when she hugs Mike I see her skirt go up a little too high.  
"Damn y/n you clean up nice. Better not bend over or we are all gonna get a show!" Nate says laughing.  
Mike pulls a pen out of his pocket and drops it on the ground.  
"Oooops y/n could you pick that up for me?" He says.  
I feel myself getting angrier by the second. I walk over and grab her by her arm and pull her to my room slamming the door behind us.  
"What are you doing Eric?" She says laughing. It's obvious the effects of the alcohol are starting to show.  
"Take that off. Now. Put on whatever you brought with you." I say trying not to be mad at her. I know she didn't do anything wrong.

Y/n pov

I know he is upset but the buzz I have is making this situation so funny to me. I can't stop laughing as he stands in front of me with his hands on his hips.  
"Are you seriously mad? I wanted to take this shit off a hour ago and you wouldn't let me!" I say trying not to laugh.  
"You think it's funny? I don't want anybody else looking at you like that." He says glaring at me.  
"Trust me babe. You are the only one I wore this for. You have nothing to worry about." I say walking over to him.  
"I hope so" he says putting his arms to his sides.  
"You should know so by now Eric. You know how I feel about you." I say grabbing his chin with one hand making him look into my eyes.  
"I just want you all to myself." He says moving his face closer to mine.  
"I'm yours you idiot." I say placing a peck on his lips.  
A smile starts to form on his mouth as I pull away.  
"All mine?" He asks with a raised eyebrow placing his hands on my hips.  
"Since the first time I looked into your eyes that day at the mall when we first met." I say putting my hands on his chest.  
His lips crash down on mine and he walks me backwards to his bed pushing me down.  
"Eric you have a house full of people" I say laughing.  
"Fuck em" he says as he kisses my neck and bites my collar bone.  
"Fuck baby" I moan out when he bites me.  
"I need to feel you y/n. Right now." He says pulling my skirt up.  
"Eric we can't do this right now!" I say trying to push him off of me and closing my legs.  
"It's too late for that." He says trying to pry my legs back apart.  
"Calm down boy!" I say laughing and pushing myself up.  
"It's not even dark yet. We have all night." I say giving him a peck on the lips and climbing off the bed.  
"What the hell am I supposed to do about this then?" He says as I see the situation he has going on in his pants.  
Without thinking I get down on my knees in front of him and reach up for his belt.  
"I thought that wasn't happening right now" he says leaning back on his hands smiling down at me.  
"Sex is not happening right now. But this is." I say reaching into his boxers and pulling him out.  
I slowly stroke him before I find the courage to put him into my mouth.  
When I do I look up and see him starring at me darkly.  
Feeling self conscious I quickly close my eyes. I have no idea what I'm doing and no clue if he is even liking this by his expression.  
When I go down and take him all the way into my mouth I hear him let out a moan. I open my eyes and look back up at him to see his head thrown back and his own eyes closed now.  
Feeling more confident I start to go faster as I feel his hand come down onto the back of my head pushing me down further.  
"Fuck baby that feels so good" he says breathlessly.  
"I'm so close" he says taking his hand off of my head and falling further back onto the bed.  
I look up and see his hands on both sides of him gripping the bed until his knuckles are white.  
"Oh fuck!" He says loudly before I feel him release into the back of my throat.   
I sit back on my heels wiping my mouth with my hand as he lays completely still on the bed.  
After a few minutes of silence and him breathing heavily he finally sits up and looks at me.  
"You are fucking amazing." He says smiling down at me.  
"Maybe that will hold you over for a little while" I say standing up and adjusting my skirt.  
"I changed my mind. Keep that on." He says with a smirk.


	20. Pickles, vodka, and so much for my happy ending

Eric pov

I definitely was not expecting that. She is just full of surprises. And she makes me completely fucking crazy. It's like I lose myself when I'm around her. She makes me somebody different and I don't know if I should be okay with that or not. It's hard to see the bigger picture when she makes me want to be with her forever. But that's not realistic. My forever ends in April.

Y/n pov

Walking back out of Eric's room it's obvious that everyone continued the party without us. Mike is sloppy drunk and pretending to surf on the coffee table while everyone laughs except for Robyn who looks unamused.  
"Mike get the fuck down before you break something" Eric says from behind me.  
"Oh great. Captain serious is back. That was fast. Just a quickie?" He says jumping down from the table.  
"That's none of your fucking business" Eric says glaring at him.  
"Alight enough of that. Someone give me a drink! I need to be on Mike's level." I say walking around to sit on the couch beside Robyn.  
"I got you" Dylan says as he stands and walks up the stairs.  
"So this isn't how I expected this night to go" Robyn says sounding upset.  
"Girl chill out. It's just now starting to get dark out." I say trying to make myself comfortable in this stupid skirt.  
"I can't believe you still have that on" she says laughing.  
"Not by my choice that's for sure. Someone won't let me take it off" I say cutting my eyes to where Eric is standing talking to Nate. He catches me looking at him and a smirk appears on his face.  
"Oh wow.. so he demands and you listen? That doesn't seem like a y/n thing to do.." she says looking concerned.  
"It usually isn't but Robyn he makes me absolutely crazy. For some reason when he makes demands of starts to get angry instead of wanting to knock his teeth out I want to.. well do other things." I say feeling my cheeks get hot.  
"Hmm. You are a freak girl" she says laughing.  
"Oh gawd Robyn you sound just like Eric." I say trying to stop myself from laughing.  
"Girl I love you but please never say that again!" She says as Dylan comes back down the stairs with my drink in hand.  
"Drink all you want but just remember that you are sleeping in my bed tonight. And also no dancing on the table when you reach Mike's level." Eric leans down and says into my ear.  
I nod my head in acknowledgment as I take a drink.  
"Jesus dylan are you trying to put me in a coma? Where's the juice in this vodka and orange juice?" I say with my mouth on fire.  
"You said you wanted to be on his level" he says pointing at Mike.  
Everyone is crowded around the TV on couches and chairs and even the floor drinking and laughing at the awful B movie that Eric put in.  
After finishing that deadly drink of Dylan's I feel my brain swimming in my head and realize that I'm a little too drunk.  
I sit up on the edge of the couch trying to make the room stop spinning. Robyn notices and tilts her head to the side looking at me.  
"Hey y/n let's go raid the kitchen for some snacks" she says saving me.  
Without a word and stand and follow her up the stairs wobbly.  
"Yeah I totally need food or water or something." I say opening the fridge.  
Robyn grabs a cup and fills it with water for me and I dig through the fridge like I live here.  
"Yessss jackpot!" I say happily as I pull out a huge jar of pickles.  
I close the fridge and slide down the door of it onto the floor, pickle jar in my hands.  
"Are you serious right now? Everything in that fridge and you come out with a jar of pickles?" She asks looking disgusted.  
"Hey don't judge me and my snack of choice. Pickles are the shit." I say as I unscrew the lid and grab one out with my bare hand.  
Jar still tucked under one arm I take a huge crunchy bite smiling up at her.  
"What the fuck are you doing?" I hear Eric say from the kitchen door.  
I look up and see the shocked look on his face.  
"Heyyy babe!" I say sloppily.  
"Just sitting in your kitchen floor drunk eating pickles." I say as I take another big bite.  
"That's fucking gross y/n" he says crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the door frame smiling at me.  
"To each their own" I say happily crunching away.  
"So she's wasted dude" Robyn says to Eric.  
"Obviously" he replies back still laughing.  
"Hey stop talking about me like I'm not here!" I say finishing off the pickle and digging back in the jar for more.  
"Oh we see you. Sitting in the kitchen floor eating fucking pickles." Eric says trying not to laugh at me.  
"Come on let's go back downstairs weirdo" he says walking over and putting his hand down to pull me up.  
"Only if these bad boys can come to" I say patting the pickle jar.  
"Oh hell no and I'm gonna need you to brush your damn teeth before you talk to me again" he says pulling the jar out of arms and putting it back in the fridge as I stand up and try to balance myself.  
"Nope" I say reaching out and grabbing him and planting a sloppy kiss on his lips.  
"Jesus Christ y/n!" He yells pushing me away as Robyn laughs hysterically.  
"I will totally remember you pushing me away from you later." I say pouting at him.  
"I highly doubt you are going to remember any of this." He says directly me back towards the stairs.  
When we get back to the basement he walks me back over to the couch to sit back down.  
"V no more vodka for this one okay?" He says to Dylan looking serious.  
"Sure thing" Dylan says laughing.  
After a couple cups of water and some Doritos I start to feel more like myself. Still drunk but not eating pickles in the kitchen floor drunk.  
I stand up to go to the bathroom and Eric stands up following me.  
"Where are you going now woman?" He says behind me.  
"Oh calm down. I drank a ton of water. I'm just going to the bathroom.  
"Brush your teeth while you are at it" he says turning to go back to the others.  
"Sure thing asshole!" I call back.  
He darts back around looking at me with squinted eyes as I laugh and close the bathroom door.  
After I use the bathroom I go and grab my toothbrush out of my bag and walk back in wetting it and using his toothpaste. I glance up at myself in the mirror and realize that I look like a complete disaster.  
I finish brushing my teeth and wipe the smeared eyeliner off of my eyes and run my fingers through my hair feeling a lot less drunk.  
When I open the bathroom door to walk out I see Eric leaned up against the wall waiting on me.  
"Did you brush your teeth weirdo?" He says smiling at me.  
"Give me a kiss and find out" I say walking towards him.  
"You don't reek anymore at least" he says spinning me around so that my back is on the wall with him in front of me.  
"You seriously don't like pickles? This may be a deal breaker." I say trying to look serious.  
"If it's a deal breaker I guess I'll have to lie and say I like them as much as you." He says smiling.  
I grab his shirt and pull him into me with our lips centimeters apart.  
"Kiss me you liar" I say licking my lips and he crashes into me with his. My hand instinctively goes up to the back of his head pulling him in harder as he brings his hand up to the side of my face. Our hallway make out session is interrupted by Mike clearing his throat.  
"Sorry to interrupt but I need the bathroom." He says walking passed us.  
"Want me to round everybody up so you guys can do whatever it is you do?" He asks before closing the door.  
"I got it" Eric says pulling away from me and walking back to the others.  
I follow him as he walks in to make the announcement.  
"So it's getting late guys. I'm probably gonna turn in soon" he says faking a yawn and stretching.  
"You are a shitty liar man" Nate laughs out.  
"Just tell us you want to go bone your girlfriend and we will leave." He says as everyone in his group stands and says their goodbyes.  
I look over at Eric trying not to laugh as his cheeks start to glow red.  
Dylan bursts out laughing loudly which makes everyone else start to laugh as well.  
"Please God just go." Eric says trying not to laugh to.  
When everyone leaves except the 4 of us I look over and see Dylan and Robyn holding hands and Dylan whispering something to her.  
I imagine he is trying to get her up the stairs but she looks nervous.  
"Sorry to be blunt but I'm dying to be alone with my girlfriend guys. V you know where you guys can crash. Consider this my verbal do not disturb sign." Eric says as he walks towards me and pulling me by my arm towards his room.  
"So I'm your girlfriend now huh?" I ask poking his side. "I kind of figured that was a given at this point" he says slapping my hand away. "Nu uh. You didnt ask me!" I say laughing at him. "Jesus christ. Okay y/n will you be my girlfriend?" He ask smiling. "Ehh I'll think about it." I say as we walk down the hall. I look back at Robyn trying to give her silent encouragement before we disappear into Eric's room.  
Once inside his room Eric locks the door and comes at me with hunger in his eyes.  
Still feeling the effects of the alcohol giving me liquid courage I decide to turn the tables on him.  
Before he can push me down I beat him to it and push him face first onto his bed.  
He spins around and looks at me in shock as I climb on top straddling him on his lap.  
"I'm so glad you didn't take that off" he says reaching under my skirt with both hands grabbing my ass and pushing me down harder onto his lap.  
I smile down at him before wrapping my arms around his neck and going in for a kiss.  
Before I can though he grabs my bottom lip with his teeth letting out a growl.  
"I'm not going to be gentle with you this time. I don't have it in me" he says moving my hair to kiss my neck.  
"Good" is all I say as I let my head fall back giving him better access.  
When he goes up to bite my earlobe I start to grind on his lap not able to control my body reacting.  
"You know you aren't in control here" he growls into my ear.  
"Seems like I might be though" I reply feeling him grow hard underneath me.  
"I can stop that at any second. You know I can." He says bringing his hands down to my hips trying to hold me still.  
"You can try" I say challenging him as I bite my own lip.  
Before I know what's happening he flips us over on the bed and pushes me down on my back.  
"I didn't have to try very hard did I?" He says smiling down at me.  
"You caught me off guard! Not fair!" I say giving him my best pout face.  
"Let me make it up to you" he says as he starts to slide down my body pushing my knees apart with his hands.  
Having a feeling what he is about to do I try to brace myself by gripping the covers on his bed with my fists.  
"Are you okay with this?" He asks showing concern that he usually doesn't.  
I nod my head yes not wanting to speak.  
"I'm gonna need you to answer out loud when I ask you questions y/n. Let me hear you." He says as he reaches up and starts to pull my panties off of me.  
"Tell me y/n. Do you want me to keep going?" He says looking up at me darkly.  
"Yes" is all I can get out.  
"Good girl" he says as he runs a finger up and down my most sensitive spot.  
He beds down and places a kiss on both of my inner thighs before settling in between them and licking me from top to bottom.  
I let out a loud gasp at the sensation that I have never felt before and he doesn't seem to notice as he continues devouring me.  
He slowly inserts a finger inside of me as he starts to move his tongue faster making me see stars.  
I feel my back start to arch as I push myself into his mouth and bring my hand down to the back of his head scared that he will stop before I hit my peak.  
Within seconds my body starts to shake as he pushes me all the way over the edge.  
I grab at his head trying to push him away because the the sensation is too much.  
He pulls back and sits up on his heels looking at me.  
"Did I do something wrong?" He asks looking confused.  
"Oh baby no. Not at all. I just can't handle anymore of that" I say sitting up and pulling his shirt over his head.  
"Like.. in a bad way?" He says once I get his shirt off.  
"There wasn't anything bad about what you just made me feel." I say pulling him down to me.  
A smile slowly starts to form on his face as he realizes what I mean.  
"Then let me make you feel that way some more." He says reaching over to his bed side table and pulling out a condom as I go to work unbuckling his belt and pants.  
He doesn't even bother taking them all the way off as he sits up and puts the condom on.  
He wasn't playing around about not being gentle this time as he forcefully enters me.  
It hurts at first but as he keeps a steady pace it starts to get more comfortable and I start to match his pace moaning loudly into his ear.  
"Fuck baby" he growls out as he starts to quicken his pace.  
"Slow down. We aren't in a rush." I say wrapping my legs around his waist.  
"You're killing me woman" He says as he pulls away from me.  
I sit up feeling confused about why he stopped as he sits up on his knees.  
"Buck Dich" he says with a smirk.  
"Eric I have no idea what that means" I say looking up at him.  
"Jesus woman have you learned nothing from listening to music with me. It means bend over. Now fucking do it!" He says rolling me over onto my stomache.  
I smile to myself as I go up on my hands and knees feeling a little weird about it but excited for the change of things to.  
He positions himself behind me and enters me grabbing my hips pulling me back into him as he does.  
"Oh God!" I yell out at the new sensation.  
"Nahh don't call me that. Call me Reb." He says as he pulls out and slams back into me.  
It doesn't take long for the stars to start again as he goes faster and reaches up and grabs my hair pulling me up and into his chest. With one hand still wrapped up in my hair the other comes around and grips my throat and I can feel him smiling into my neck.  
"Oh God I'm so close" I whimper.  
"What did I say y/n. What are you supposed to call me?" He growls into my ear.  
Without out thinking I blurt out  
"Fuck me Reb!"  
He pushes me back down onto my stomache and loses any control he had left.  
I feel my release come as my knees start to go out from under me and he pushes me flat down on his bed continuing towards his finish.  
"Fuuuuckkk" he yells out as he stops moving and grips my thighs extra hard.  
After a few seconds of silence he moves from behind me and lays out on the bed beside me.  
I feel like he just took my soul out of my body and I don't even care.  
He pulls the condom off and throws it in the garbage beside his bed side table as he pulls his pants back up.  
I rolling over and watch him feeling the love I have for him radiating off of me.  
"One of these days when we run off and get married we won't have to worry about those anymore" I say smiling up at him.  
I see the color drain from his face as he freezes and stares at me with a horrified look on his face.  
"What's wrong?!" I ask sitting up on his bed.  
"Y/n don't say shit like that. You know how this is going to end and it won't be with us living happily ever after." He says as he turns and walks out of the room and into the bathroom.  
I sit there in utter shock at what he just said. Nothing has changed for him. He is still planning on not being here anymore come April. I can't stop the tears once they start as I feel my body start to shake uncontrollably.  
I can't believe I thought I could stop him. I've never felt so stupid.


	21. Wake me up when it's over

Robyn pov

Once everyone left Eric's house and the 2 lovebirds disappeared for the night me and Dylan were left alone on the couch in silence. Not being able to beare it anymore I finally spoke up.  
"Maybe we shouldn't have made these plans Dylan. I think it's taking all the fun out of it honestly." I say quietly.  
"Hey this was your idea. We could have done it weeks ago and I would have been fine with it." he says not looking at me.  
It's not that I don't want to do it at all. But the anticipation leading up to this night has put my nerves into overdrive. and honestly I can't make the first move. There's just no way. So if he doesn't step up then this will probably never happened I think to myself chewing on my fingernails.  
"Why don't we just go upstairs and lay down. It's getting late and I'm kind of over listening to those 2 go at it" he says standing up and reaching down for my hand.  
We walk up the stairs of the basement in silence other than what I can only imagine is the bed hitting the wall coming from Eric's room.  
Once we get up the second set of stairs Dylan opens the door to Kevin's old bedroom letting me go in first.  
"Shit I left my bag in the car with my night clothes in it.." I says starting back towards the door but before I can reach it Dylan closes it.  
"Here take this" he says pulling his t-shirt off and handing it to me.  
"Uh okay"I say reaching out to take it and when I do he grabs me by my wrist and pulls me into him.  
"Can we just forget about the stupid plans and just be us. Whatever happens happens." He says looking down at me.  
I nod my head quickly in agreement and start to undo the zipper on the back of my costume.  
"Can I help you?" He asks shyly.  
I turn around with my back to him in response as he reaches up and unzips me.  
As the costume falls to the ground I quickly throw his t-shirt on to cover myself.  
"Robyn you know you are beautiful right?" He says putting his arms around my waist and resting his chin on the top of my head.  
"Shut up Dylan" I say laughing and going to the bed and getting under the covers.  
"You are so bad with compliments" he says smiling at me as he joins me in the bed.  
Once he settled in with his arm under me I rolled into him putting my head on his chest.  
"Can we just stay right here forever?" I ask smiling up at him.  
"I'm not sure the Harris's would be okay with that." He says with a chuckle as he rolls on his side facing me and wrapping his other arm around me to pulling me in.  
"Dylan I do want to have sex with you. I hope you know that. But I'm really nervous about it all." I say burying my face in his neck.  
"I don't want you to feel pressured Robyn. But I would never do anything to hurt you. We can take this as slow as you want to. Because if I'm being honest I'm pretty nervous to." He says softly.  
"You are? You seem pretty ready for it.." I say pulling back to look at him.  
"Of course I'm ready for it. But I'll be just as ready for it whenever you decide you want to." He says leaning in and kissing me forehead.  
When he pulls back away I reach up and find his lips with mine.  
What was supposed to be a sweet peck quickly turned heated as he parted my lips with his tonge exploring my mouth.  
My heart was beating so hard in my chest that I just knew he could feel it when he made his way on top of me not breaking the kiss.  
I could feel his hand playing with the bottom of his huge t-shirt that I was now wearing and I started to feel like I couldn't breathe as his hand went underneath it and up my side to rest right under my boob.  
"Is this okay?" He asks breaking the kiss to look at me.  
I nod my head in response not wanting him to stop but feeling like I may suffocate from holding my breath.  
He continues up exploring the top half of my body as I slowly start to figure out how to breathe again.   
Just as my breathing calmed he began to push his hips closer to my body and I could feel him through his pants as he began to grind on me slowly.  
I heard a moan escape my lips that I couldn't control as he pulled back again looking at me.  
"Are you okay? I can stop if you want me to." He says with a worried look on his face.  
Not able to form words I reached up and grabbed the back of his neck pulling him back down into a kiss and giving him the confidence to continue.  
He went down and started kissing my neck as he continued to grind into me making me feel things in my lower stomache that I had never felt before.  
I broke away from him sitting up and pulling his shirt over my head leaving me in nothing except my panties. When I reached for the button on his pants he looked at me with big eyes in shock of what I was doing.  
"Are you sure?" He asks grabbing my hands to stop me.  
"Are you?" I ask back tilting my head to the side and smiling at him.  
He let go of my hands and moved them away as he finished the job of unbuckling his pants and kicking them off the side of the bed leaving him in only his boxers as he came back down on top of me rubbing my cheek with his thumb.  
Getting impatient with the lack of friction I buck my hips up towards him and the lack of extra fabric between us is immediately notice by both of us and the different feeling has me wanting him even more.  
I reach down between us and palm him through his boxers which makes his jaw clench and body go stiff.  
With a shaky hand he also goes between us and places his hand on top of my panties rubbing softly.  
Wanting to feel him better I grab my panties and pull them off tossing them on the floor trying not to make eye contact with him now feeling super exposed.  
When I'm laying back down under her I take his hand and place it back on me trying to guide him to where I want him to touch me.  
"Is this okay?" He asks as he finally hits the spot and I grip his hand not wanting him to stop shaking my head in response.  
After a few minutes I grow impatient with his gentle touches and need more.  
"Dylan I want you inside of me. I need to be as close to you as possible." I say pushing his hand away and pulling at the top of his boxers.  
He stands up off of the bed and goes for his pants pulling out a condom before losing the boxers and crawling back on top of me under the covers.  
After taking him forever to get to condom on he finally lines himself up and looks down at me nervously.  
"Are you sure this is what you want?" He asks again.  
"Jesus Dylan stop asking me that. If I want you to stop I will tell you!" I say trying to get him to loosen up.  
When he finally pushes himself into me slowly I feel a burning pain and almost tell him to stop but right before I do I look up at him and he has his mouth hanging open and eyes closed  
"Shit" is all he says as he pushes all the way in me.  
He stays still for what seems like forever trying to let me adjust to him.  
"Move Dylan" I say softly as the pain starts to subside.  
Once he finds a rythym the pleasure starts to build for me and I pull him down for a kiss.  
Within minutes I can feel my release coming and I can't stop the moans coming out of my mouth.  
"Oh my God" he says as I feel him tense up and he collapses on top of me.  
Not knowing what to do I just laid still under him listening to his heavy breathing and feeling extra sexually frustrated.  
Once he regains his composure he rolls over and stands up pulling his boxers on and walking out of the room. I assumed to the bathroom.  
That's wasn't at all how I expected that to go. 

Dylan pov

Once inside the bathroom I flush the condom and clean myself up. I sit down on the edge of the bathtub feeling too embarrassed to face her right now.  
That couldn't have been good for her. It lasted a whole five minutes. Standing back up I look at myself in the mirror and run my hands through my hair trying to figure out how to approach this situation with the least amount of embarrassment.  
After a while I walk back into the room and see her already asleep in the bed. Not wanting to wake her up and gently slide in beside her and as soon as I'm laid down she rolls towards me putting her arm and leg across me in her sleep. I lay there silently stuck in my thoughts for awhile. Mostly thinking about how that had to be the worst first time in history.


	22. No more tears

Eric pov

I should have let her go when I had the chance. I should never have weasled my way back into her life. Now all that's left to do is hurt her again and I swore I wouldn't. Even though I knew I would have to.  
I stand in my shower with the hot water running over me lost in my stupid thoughts.  
Why did she have to say that shit?! I think as I slam my fist into the shower wall.  
No! I can't Blame this on her. Everything is always my fault even though I would never say it out loud.  
I don't know how I'm going to handle watching her heart break again but there's no other choice.  
I turn the shower off and wrap a towel around me and start to head back to my room when I hear her.  
My beautiful girlfriend laying in my bed crying her eyes out. Because of me. My first instincts are to go to her and wrap her in my arms and tell her that in sorry for what I said but I can't do that.  
Instead I walk into my room and flip the light on and go straight to my closet for clean clothes trying my best not to look her way.  
"So you are just going to pretend like I'm not here?" She yells at me wiping her face and standing up grabbing her bag and walking into the bathroom.  
Not knowing how this is about to play out I quickly throw my clothes and shoes on and sit on my bed waiting for her to come back out.  
After a little while it becomes clear that she isn't coming out so I go knock on the door against my better judgement.  
"Leave me alone Eric!" She yells at me through the door.  
"So you are just gonna stay in my bathroom all night?" I ask with my forehead against the door.  
"I'm not going to ruin Robyn's night. I'm staying right here until she wakes up and then I'm gone. Just leave me alone." She says as I hear her start to cry again.  
Fuck me man.  
"Y/n come on and I'll take you home." I say trying to sound as compassionate as I can.  
The door flies open in my face and I see her standing there fully dressed with her bag on her arm and tears running down her face.  
"Fuck you. I don't want to be anywhere near you!" She yells pushing past me headed for the stairs.  
I quickly run back in my room grabbing my keys and running after her.  
When I reach the top of the stairs she is already out the front door and headed off of the porch.  
"What the hell are you doing? It's 4 in the morning y/n get in the car!" I yell after her.  
She keeps walking through the front yard headed to the street without a word or glance my way. As bad as I don't want to let her walk all the way home in the middle of the night maybe it's what I should do.   
"Hey what's going on?" I hear from behind me. I turn around and see Dylan standing there. Obvious that we woke him up.  
"Just go back to sleep V." I say as I turn to walk back to my room.  
"Uhh I'm gonna get Robyn." He says as he starts back up the stairs.  
"Do what you want. I'm going to bed." I say as I hit the stairs and walk into my room closing the door.  
Before I can even get my shoes off I hear someone bounding down the stairs and my door flies open and Robyn runs in looking like a crazy person.  
"Are you fucking kidding me Eric? You just let her walk off in the middle of the night by herself? What did you do to her?" She screams pushing me down onto my bed.  
I don't say a word. Nothing I can say will make this any better at this point so I just sit there looking at her.  
"You are something fucking else Eric Harris!" She yells at me as she takes off back up the stairs.  
"What the hell happened Reb?" Dylan asks as he leans up against the door frame of my room.  
"There's no sense in talking about it V. I did what I had to do. Let it go." I say as I finally get my shoes off and walk over and close the door in his face.

Robyn pov

I run out the front door and get to my car pulling the bag out of my backseat and throwing my pants on still wearing Dylan's shirt. I see Dylan come out the front door after me looking worried.  
"You going to find her?" He asks when he reaches me.  
"Of course I am!" I say while sitting in my car putting my shoes on.  
"I'll go with you but I kind of need me shirt" he says with a crooked smile.  
I reach back in my bag and pull out my own shirt ripping his over my head throwing it at him as I quickly get mine on.  
"Come on. It's freezing out here not to mention it's the middle of the night and my friend is walking alone through the streets of Littleton. God why didn't she just come get me?!" I say feeling worried.  
"Hey it's okay. We will find her." He says reaching over and rubbing my thigh as I crank the car and pull away from Eric's house.  
"Did he say what happened?" I ask him as I drive slowly looking for y/n.  
"He closed the door in my face when I tried to ask. Maybe it's better if they just stay away from each other. He's just going to keep hurting her." He says looking out the window.  
"She loves him so much Dylan. Why would he keep hurting her knowing that. I'm sure it was just a fight. She's probably over reacting." I say as I stop at a stop sign.  
"Is that her?" He says leaning up and pointing ahead.  
"Roll your window down!" I say frantically.  
"Y/n! Stop fucking walking right now!" I yell out as I pull my car over to the side and jump out running towards her.  
"Are you fucking crazy? It's the middle of the night. Get in the car!" I yell as I get to her.  
Without a word she walks around to the back door and gets in.  
I get back in the driver's seat and start to turn the car around.  
"Robyn if you take me back to that house I will jump out of this car so help me God. Take me home!" She yells over my shoulder.  
"Jesus y/n okay. You have to calm down." I say as I circle the block and head towards her house.  
"Are you gonna.." Dylan starts to say before she interrupts him.  
"I don't want to talk about it Dylan." She says in between sniffles.  
When I pull up in front of her house she immediately opens the door to get out.   
"Y'all can crash here if you want." She says as she gets out of the car.  
I look over at Dylan who nods at me as he starts to get out to.  
Once inside the basement y/n goes straight to the bathroom and we hear her crying.  
"I don't know what to do for her." I say as I walk over and sit on the couch. Dylan follows sitting in one of the chairs nearby.  
After several minutes she comes out with a very swollen face and stands and looks at me like she is about to fall apart.  
"Aww girl come here." I say patting the couch.  
She comes over and lays her head in my lap as I run her hair trying to calm her down.  
Eventually she cried herself to sleep and Dylan came and picked her up carrying her to her room.  
"Want me to take you back to get your car?" I ask as he comes back into the room.  
"Yeah if that's cool" he says pulling me off of the couch and into a hug.  
"I'm gonna come back here. I don't want to leave her alone." I say I to his chest.  
"That's probably a good idea" he says back.

Y/n pov

As soon as my eyes open the next day the tears start again. I have never felt pain like this. I'm so stupid. The bed starts as I give over to the pain. I feel arms come up around me and hear Robyn's voice in my ear.  
"Let it out girl. I've got you." She says softly.  
Once I've cried all the tears I can I sit up on my bed wiping my face with my hand.  
"Want to talk about it?" She asks sitting up with me.  
"Never." I reply standing up and going to the bathroom.  
I start the shower and climb in trying to wash the millions of tears away. I have to get away from him. I have to make myself get mad instead of sad. No more tears.   
I get out of the shower and wrap a towel around me and head back to my room to Robyn still sitting in my bed.  
"You can go home girl. I appreciate you more than you will ever know but I know you don't want to sit here babysitting me" I say I pull out clothes for the day.  
"I'm not babysitting you. You are my best friend and I need you to hie okay. But I would really love to go home and shower." She stand standing up and smiling at me.  
"Go ahead girl. I'm okay. I want to hear about your night later though. Meet me online?" I say giving her my best fake smile.  
"Absolutely!" She says hugging me and walking out the door.  
I throw myself down onto my bed fighting the tears that are begging to be released. As bad as I want to hate him I can't. I love him more than I love myself at this point. The thought of not feeling his touch or kissing his lips ever again is killing me. I just need to talk to him. We can figure this out. I just want to save him.


	23. Cry Little Sister

Eric pov

Much to my surprise I fell asleep almost immediately last night. I guess it was either the stress of the fight or the sex. God the sex. She was made for me.. but I can't go there. I have to stay far away from her.  
I pull myself out of bed and sign on my computer to see if Dylan is on. I need a distraction and even though he is out of the plan maybe he will still go shoot with me or something.  
I scroll down looking for his name but instead find hers.  
I let the mouse hover over it for a second before I snap out of it and pull it away. Not gonna do it. Before I can sign off though she does it.

Y/n: we should talk Eric.

I sit starring at the message fighting myself to not respond.

Y/n: I love you so fucking much it hurts.

I sit back and cross my arms hoping it will keep them from typing.

Y/n: run away with me Eric. Where ever you want to go I'll follow. I need you.

Nope. I quickly sign off before my heart can take over. 

Y/n pov

As soon as I see him sign off I feel that all too familiar feeling in my chest again. It's the feeling of my heart actually breaking. I think he may really be done with me this time and I don't know how I can live without him now that I've had him. We belong together. He is my end game. Once the thought hits my mind I can't stop it. I need my own plan. If I can't have him then I don't want anything from this fucking world.

Dylan pov

The last few weeks have been amazing between me and Robyn. I finally figured out how to get away from the awkwardness of it all and we are stronger than ever. Now the only awkward thing is Reb and y/n are forced to be in the same room. We can all see how much he is hurting her. I know he sees it to. But he isn't going to stop. I thought for sure when school started back and I saw her walking his way in the parking lot that it would all be over but no. That ended with her in the bathroom crying through first hour and Robyn missing class to be with her. The shit is out of hand. My cigarette break and my thoughts are interrupted as y/n walks into the smokers pit and sits next to me.  
"Can I ask you a question Dylan?" She says taking my cigarette out of my mind and hitting it.  
"Uhh sure?" I say grabbing it back from her and opening my pack to give her one.  
"What day in April is it?" She says like it's just a normal question.  
"Oh! Uh.. why do you want to know that?" I ask in shock.  
"Please just tell me Dylan." She says pleading with me.  
"Unless he has changed it then it's April 20th." I say turning my head to look at her.  
"So exactly 4 months and a day from right now." She says with tears in her eyes.  
"Y/n you have got to stop. He isn't going to so you have to. I'm not saying this to hurt you at all. It's for your own good. He is making it very clear that he doesn't want anything to do with you anymore. You are torturing yourself." I say flicking my cigarette and standing to go back inside.  
"It's not that simple Dylan. You think I want to feel this way?" She says as she stands up to. From behind her I see Eric walking down the sidewalk heading our way. He must not have seen her here.   
"There he comes now. Give it another shot if you want. But I warned you." I say squeezing her shoulder for support as I walk back inside.

Y/n pov

I turn around and see Eric stop in his tracks when he sees me. After we lock eyes for a few seconds he turns around and starts to quickly walk the other way.  
"Eric please stop!" I yell out walking in his direction.  
To my surprise he does as I say.  
Once I get to him I reach down and take his hand in mine but he doesn't turn around to face me.  
"I didn't do anything wrong Eric. Please stop torturing me. I swear I wont say another word about it!" I plead with him as he jerks his hand away from me and turns around.  
"You don't think this is hurting me to y/n? You don't think I would love nothing more than to shove you against that wall and kiss you with everything I have in me?!" He yells centimeters from my face and I can feel the anger coming off of him.  
Before I can stop myself I grab his shirt pulling him into me  
"Then just fucking do it Eric!" I yell back at him before he pulls away from me and turns and walks back up the sidewalk leaving me standing there crumbling from the inside out.  
When I get home that afternoon Marie calls me into the kitchen before I can make it down to my room.  
"So I've been thinking about something that I want to run by you." She says as I sit down at the counter.  
I just look at her with raised eyebrows not having the energy for one of her talks.  
"I know you have been going through a lot since you got here and me and Mell think it would be a good idea for you to go back home for Christmas. We can get you a hotel in downtown so that you are close to everybody. And you can come back here before school starts back.  
"Yes!" I yell in response not needing time to think about it.  
"I'll look for plane tickets tonight then. You want to leave in 2 days since tomorrow is the last day before Christmas break?" She asks.  
"The sooner the better" I respond as I get up and head down to my room.  
After I put my stuff down I walk right out the back door to Robyn's.  
She answers the door after one knock.  
"Oh hey y/n! I was expecting Dylan. Come in!" She says smiling at me.  
"I won't be long. I just wanted to let you know that I'm leaving to go back to Alabama in 2 days." I say.  
"What?! No?!?" She yells at me.  
"Girl chill out. Just until school starts back. Maybe 2 weeks." I says trying to calm her down.  
"You promise you are coming back though?" She says looking worried.  
"Yes Robyn I don't have a choice right now." I say as she frowns at my answer.  
Dylan walks up before I can say anything else and Robyn blurts out that I'm leaving for 2 weeks.  
"I think that's a really good idea honestly." He says giving me a compassionate smile.  
"Oh wow. You guys suck!" Robyn says looking at us pissed off.  
"I said I'm coming back Robyn.." I say as I head off of her porch and back to my house.

Robyn pov

As soon as y/n leaves I run to my computer.  
"What are you doing?" Dylan asks following me.  
"She's not going to come back Dylan. He can stop her!" I say panicking.  
"Robyn stay out of it. She said she is coming back. And he isn't going to stop her I promise." He replies.  
Ignoring him I quickly sign on and find his name.

Eric pov

RA99: Eric y/n is leaving. She's going back to Alabama and it's your fault. You need to fix this shit!

I didn't know how to respond so I just sat reading it over and over. As much as it hurts I have to let her go. It's what's best for her. 

RA99: Eric fucking Harris fucking do something or I will make your life a living hell!!

I laugh to myself at that one. Like my life isn't already a living hell. That's the whole point of all of this.

I sign off and grab my journal out of my desk and frantically start to get these thoughts out of my head. 

Y/n pov

Robyn came with my sister to drop my off at the airport. I'm going to miss her but I'm hoping 2 weeks of normal will bring me back down to earth. I know it will probably all go to shit again just as soon as I get back but at least I will be able to step back and breathe for 2 whole weeks.

When I landed in Alabama my friend and her mom were waiting at the airport to pick me up. After a tearful reunion they drove me to my hotel where her mom allowed her to stay the night with me so we could catch up.  
After ordering and eating pizza together we laid across the bed and I decided to fill her in on my Eric situation. I couldn't tell her everything obviously but I told her most of it.  
I expected more support than what I got honestly. She quickly changed the subject without the slightest bit of advice or even an I'm sorry.  
I started to realize that a lot had changed in the last 5 months. Changes that I wasn't a part of.   
The next morning she called her mom to pick her up and I was left alone with my thoughts.  
I made several phone calls letting old friends know that I was in town but everybody had other plans.  
Feeling super alone I walked to the library downtown to use the computer hoping that Robyn would be on.  
I waited and waited but no sign of her. But there he was. The love of my life that had pushed me away. I clicked on his name and started to type out a message but before I could send it his sent his own.

Rebdomine: are you really gone forever?

Instead of thinking about myself my mind immediately went to him being the one gone forever. I could feel my breath catching and remembered that I was in a public place so I had to push my emotions away.

Y/n: no. Not yet anyways.  
Rebdomine: so you are leaving forever though?  
Y/n: I mean it sounds like that's what you want. Will you ever stop ripping my heart to pieces Eric? I can't do this with you anymore. The back is forth is what's going to kill me.  
Rebdomine: I'll leave you alone then. But just know I never stopped loving you and I never will.

With that he signed off.  
I shot out of the chair and stomped angrily out of the library and back to my hotel.  
The fucking nerve of him. After all the times Ive tried to talk to him over the last 2 months he waits until I'm hours away to actually talk to me. I've had it with everything.  
I come all the way here by myself looking for a escape just to be abandoned by everyone that said they were so excited to see me. Once I make it inside my hotel room I go straight to the phone and call Marie.  
"Hello?" She answers.  
"Please God get me out of here. I want to come back!" I cry into the phone.  
"Y/n what's going on. Are you okay?" She asks.  
"No I'm not. There's nothing here for me anymore. At least there i have you and Robyn. I can't sit here alone Marie please." I beg.  
"Let me see what I can do about finding you a sooner flight. I'll call you when I know something okay?. Try to relax sis." She replies before she hangs up.

Robyn pov

Cuddled up on the couch watching a movie with Dylan I can't help but let my thoughts go to y/n. I know she's having fun but I really miss her and it's only been 3 days. I'm pulled out of my thoughts by my mom calling for me down the stairs.  
Me and Dylan both head upstairs to see what's going on and I see Marie sitting in the living room with the baby.  
"Hey!!" I say reaching out to take the baby from her.  
"Listen y'all I need to talk to you. I've already ran it by your mom Robyn and she called Sue and she said it was okay with her to. Y/n wants to come back. I don't know whats going on with her but she sounded frantic when I spoke with her yesterday. The soonest flight I could find isn't until next week and I hate to leave her that long. I found one that flies into Wyoming but it's a six hour drive and that little monster there doesn't do good that long in the car." She says pointing at the baby.  
"We'll go!" I yell out before she can finish.  
"Are you sure? I'll pay for gas and food for everyone of course." She finishes.  
"Absolutely sure. When do we go?" I say handing the baby back to her.   
"Her flight will touch down in Wyoming tomorrow at 1 so I would suggest leaving around 5am to make sure you have enough time. Thank you so much Robyn I really owe you!" She says hugging me with one arm while still holding the baby.  
"Don't thank me! I can't wait to have my friend back!" I say jumping up and down clapping my hands like a child.  
Once back in the basement I wrap my arms around Dylan's waist for a hug.  
"Our first road trip together and it's to save y/n from whatever it is she has going on now." He laughs into my hair.  
"Leave her alone Dylan. She's hurting and alone. I wish we could get to her sooner honestly.

Dylan pov  
I headed home shortly after we talked to y/n's sister. I need to get some sleep before this long ass trip I've been drug into. Once I got home I thought it would be a good idea to give Eric a heads up. I grabbed the phone beside my bed and laid back on my pillow dialing his number.  
"Hello?"   
"Hey Mrs Harris can I talk to Eric?" I say into the phone.  
"Oh hey Dylan. Sorry he left a few minutes ago for his date." She responds.  
I sat straight up in my bed.  
"Date with who?!" I ask confused.  
"I think he said her name is Brandi maybe? I don't know for sure but I'm glad to see him moving own after y/n broke his heart. I just couldn't believe it." She says back.  
"Ha! Wow. Okay. Thanks Mrs Harris." I slam the phone down. What a fucking idiot.  
I immediately pick the phone back up and dial Robyn's number.  
"Hello!" She says happily into the phone.  
"Robyn I'm gonna need you to sit down for this one." I say closing my eyes preparing for the blow.  
"What's wrong Dylan?!" She says sounding worried.  
"Eric is on a fucking date right now." I say clenching my teeth.  
"You have got to be fucking kidding me!!!" She yells into the phone.


	24. Long Hard Road Out Of Hell

Y/n pov

As soon as I hung up the phone with Marie I started putting all of my stuff back in my bag excited to leave this place. Also really excited that Robyn and Dylan would be the ones picking me up! I can't believe they would drive that far just to rescue me from myself. I walked down to the front desk and asked them to call me a cab for 3am to the airport. Only 5 hours until I'm with Robyn. I can survive that long. I wanted this trip to be a good thing but it was right the opposite. It just showed me how much my presence in some people lives does not matter one bit. So now I know there is nothing left for me here and I'll say goodbye forever.

Robyn pov

I left my house at 4 am to go and get Dylan. It was still pitch black outside when I pulled into his long drive way. He was watching for me and came running out to my car as soon as I stopped.  
"Hey handsome! You ready for this adventure?" I asked him excitedly.  
"As ready as I can be I guess. I get to control the radio though right?" He says patting his huge cd book in his lap.  
"Have at it. But you have to read the map and tell me where to go remember.." I say smiling at him.  
Once we hit the highway we started to settle in for the trip and I got lost in my thoughts while Dylan played with drums.  
The sun had came up and my stomache was starting to growl.  
"Are you hungry Dyl? Cuz I'm starving." I say as I pull off of a exit to look for food.  
We found a McDonald's that opens at 6:30 and it was a little after 6 so we decided to park and wait.  
"So I was thinking.. maybe we shouldn't tell y/n about Eric's little date." He says turning to me.  
"I'm conflicted. She will be so pissed if she finds out that I knew. But I just can't stand to see her hurt anymore right now." I say back to him.  
"I get it. She will be pissed at both of us. And don't get me wrong here, I like her alot. Hell I'd even call her one of my best friends at this point. But I absolutely do not want to listen to her cry the whole 6 hour trip home." He says laughing a little.  
"That's not funny Dylan.. but yeah I agree. We won't say anything right now." I say as we see the open with cut on.  
After we finish eating we pull over to the gas station next door and fill the tank up and grab snacks and drinks for the road. About 4 hours left until we are there.

Eric pov

Waking up this morning I had this weird feeling. I couldn't quite place it. I only took Brandi out to get my mind off of y/n but I actually ended up having fun with her. Maybe that's why I feel the way I do. I feel like I betrayed y/n. I mean, it's not like we did anything. I didn't even try to hold her hand. But it still feels wrong. But she left. And hopefully she won't come back. I thought maybe once she was gone I would stop thinking about her so much but it seems to have gotten worse. I'm a terrible person for hurting her. I know she loves me and God I love her so much. But that's not what I need. I need to keep my mind on April. Less than 4 months from now it will all be over. No more pain for me. And they will never forget my name.

Dylan pov

An hour to go before we hit Wyoming airport. This has been a long ass trip. Don't get me wrong though. Any time spent with Robyn is a good time. But I really want to get out of this car. It sucks that we have to get right back in and make the trip again. I like y/n but I'm getting pretty tired of saving her. And Jesus what the fuck is gonna happen when she finds out about Reb. I feel so damn bad for her. He is destroying her. I should hook her up with Brooks. They seem to her along pretty good and he would never do some shit like this.  
"Hey I just had a idea. We should hook y/n and Brooks up." I say as Robyn takes a drink of her Dr pepper and spits it out as soon as I finish my sentence.  
"That is a awful idea dude. She is not into him at all. Nate on the other hand..." She says catching me off guard.  
"Nate? For real? Oh I could totally make that happen but he is a ass to. Maybe not as bad as Eric but still a ass." I say laughing.  
"If you haven't noticed yet she kinda has a type." She says glancing over at me.  
"Sure seems that way." I say laughing and drumming my fingers in the dash.  
"We are gonna be super early." She says sitting up to stretch her back.  
"I could think of a few things we could do to kill some time" I reply raising my eyebrow at her.  
"Dylan really? In my car?" She asks laughing.  
"Hell yeah in your car. Find a rest stop and pull over."

Y/n pov

I woke up right before the seat belt light came on. I slept almost the whole flight. I didn't sleep a wink last night though so I guess I needed it.  
It took forever to depart the plane because Marie conviently booked my seat at the back. Once I was off I headed to find my bag and Robyn and Dylan.  
I walked around my gate not spotting them and getting worried.  
After a while I found a seat and had nothing to do except people watch to pass time.  
Eventually I saw them running through the crowd towards me. Robyn looking worried and Dylan smiling like a idiot.  
"Oh my God y/n I'm so sorry!!" Robyn says hugging me.  
"Yeah sorry about that. We got a little side tracked." He says with glowing cheeks.  
"Y'all it's fine I'm just really ready to not be here anymore." I say going over to hug Dylan.  
"You okay girl?" Robyn asks looking concerned.  
"So much better now that I'm with you. It was awful y'all." I say as we walk out of the airport and to Robyn's car.  
"Hey give me the keys and let me drive a while" Dylan says as Robyn pulls them out and throws them to him.  
"Gladly!" She says back.  
Once inside the car I settle in the back seat and open the mountain dew Robyn brought me.  
"Thanks y'all. For real. You have no idea how thankful I am. I owe you big time." I say to them.  
"Hell yeah you do!" Dylan says laughing.  
"Dylan shut up! Y/n he is joking. You would have done the same for either of us. We weren't going to leave you in whatever situation you were in. So what happened?!' she says turning to look at me.  
"It's just too much girl. My life is a complete mess and it all started with meeting Eric. I wish it had never happened. I want to hate him so bad but I just can't." I say putting my face in my hands.  
"Tell her." Dylan says sternly.  
"Dylan no not right now!" Robyn says pleading with him.  
"Okay well somebody is going to tell me. What the hell is going on?!" I'm thinking the worst at this point. What if he did it while I was gone. But nobody was at school. It's Christmas break. Maybe he just did himself. I start to feel the panic rising in my chest as they both stay silent.  
"Somebody fucking tell me what's going on! Like right now!" I yell at them.  
"Y/n you said you want to hate him. I can tell you something right now that will make that happen. But you have to promise me that you won't freak out the whole way back home." Dylan says nervously gripping the wheel and looking at me in the rearview mirror.  
I shake my head at him gripping the car seat with both hands waiting for the blow.  
"Eric went on a date last night with Brandi. That's all I know. And I only know that because his mom told me. And to make it worse it seems like he told his mom that you are the one that broke his heart." He says avoiding my eyes in the mirror.  
I'm fine. It's fine. Everything is okay. I say in my head trying to slow my racing heart. This just solidifies what I knew all along. He got what he wanted from me and now he's on to the next. I feel the anger rise up in me as I clench my teeth.  
"Y/n say something". Robyn says, now turned around in her seat looking at me.  
I just shrug my shoulders at her still gripping the seat.  
"Y/n?" She says reaching her arm back and putting her hand on my knee.  
"Give me a minute please. I'm processing." I say feeling like my body is on fire.  
She turns back around and looks at over Dylan before turning the music up and sitting back.  
I sat silently in the backseat for the next hour eventually curling up and falling asleep.  
"I hate it Robyn I really do but I can't talk to him. You know how he is. Once he is set on something that's it". I hear Dylan saying as I wake up.  
"We have to try Dyl. Maybe if we just get them in the same room then they will talk it out. Whatever it is." Robyn says back to him.  
"Don't even fucking think about it. I don't have anything else to say to him and I mean it this time. It's over." I say sitting up and stretching.  
"Shit. Sorry girl I didn't know you were awake. We are almost home." Robyn says looking back at me.  
"You good?" Dylan asks looking at me in the mirror.  
"I'm great. Never better. Hey Dylan can you get some vodka? I feel like I need a good drunken night." I say sitting up between there seats.  
"There's my girl! Hell yeah we will drink tonight! Get the girl some pickles to!" Robyn says excitedly.  
I die out laughing for the first time in weeks. Maybe months. I'm letting it go. He no longer consumes me. My plan is canceled. If he wants to ruin his life oh fucking well. But I'm starting to think it's just a act anyway.   
Less than a hour later we pull up at Robyns house. I hug them both and tell them to let me know where we are partying at before I run into my house and throw my arms around Marie and cry my eyes out.

Dylan pov

After dropping y/n off and letting Robyn's mom know we were back we headed to my house where my mom tells us that her and dad decided to take a short trip and asked if I wanted to go which I replied   
"If it requires another long car ride then hell no".  
Once my parents leave me and Robyn go up to my room and crash for a few hours exhausted from the ride. When we wake up the clock in my side table says 9pm.   
"Hey why don't you go get y/n. She's gonna think we ditched her. I'll get a shower and stuff while you are gone and call the boys and see if they want to join us." I say stretching and standing up.  
"I know it's obvious but I just have to say it. No Eric." She says back to me.  
"I wouldn't do that Robyn." I say hugging her and telling her to be careful.  
Once she's gone I call Nate and Brooks and see if they want to hang and they both say yes.  
I shower and grab the 2 bottles of vodka I had stasged in my closet taking them to the freezer.  
Shortly after I hear a knock on the door and open it to find Robyn and y/n.  
"I thought y'all went to bed for real. I already put my pajamas on when Robyn came so this is how you are getting me." Y/n says as she walks in and plops down on a chair.  
"If it will make you feel better I'll go put on some of Dylan's pajamas and we can both be comfy!" Robyn says to her.  
"I got you!" I say running up the stairs and grabbing her my checkered pajama pants a kmfdm shirt.   
She immediately went in the bathroom and changed to make y/n feel better.  
"See! Now we can look crazy together!" She says as she comes out.  
I don't think I've ever seen her look better I think to myself.

Y/n pov

After Robyn came out twirling around in Dylan's clothes that were way too big for her I felt a little better. It's not like I'm impressing anyone anyways.  
Just as I have that thought someone knocks on the door.  
Dylan opens it and in walks Brooks and Nate and I start to feel self conscious again.  
"Y/n! You just thought you could escape us!" Nate says coming over and hugging me and as soon as he lets go Brooks does the same.  
"I wasn't escaping you guys. Trust me. Dylan get me drunk!" I say laughing.  
" Yes mam! What kind of drunk are we getting tonight? Are we doing drink until we pass out or drink until y/n is eating pickles in my kitchen floor?" He says as he walks into the kitchen and we all follow.  
"All of the above." I say back hitting him on the arm.  
After he made all the drinks he took us all into the room with the pool table to hang out. The guys start a game of pool while me and Robyn sit and laugh with each other.   
I'm on my third drink and feeling it completely when someone rings the door bell.  
Dylan goes to answer it and when he walks back in the room he looks straight at me and mouths "sorry"  
I knew what it meant before I even saw him.


	25. The Spawn Of Satan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I need to put a warning. This has a little bit of almost rape. Rape doesn't actually happen. But there's your trigger warning just in case. 🤪

Y/n pov

Before I had time to prepare myself he walked into the room. With Brandi behind him.  
I could feel the heat coming off of my body as I reached over and grabbed Robyn's arm.  
"Girl I have no idea why he is here." She whispered quietly to me.  
"Do you want me to take you home?" She asks leaning towards me.  
"Yes I do but we are both drunk. And I'm going to have to he around him at some point. And also I'm drunk enough to not care too much right now. So fuck it." I say as I finish my drink and walk to the kitchen to make another.

Eric pov

I had no idea she was going to be here when Nate called and told me they were partying at Dylan's. Hell I thought she was still in Alabama. I feel like a complete dick right now.  
When she gets up and walks out of the room I can feel Robyn's eyes barring into me. Before I can even react she is in my face.  
"You need to leave Eric. Now! This night is for her and she wants nothing to do with you. So take her and leave!" She says pointing at Brandi.  
"I'm not here to cause trouble Robyn. I didn't even know she was back." I say looking at Dylan with squinted eyes.  
"Eric what's going on?" Brandi says grabbing onto his arm.  
"Jesus Christ this is bad" Robyn says walking over to Dylan.  
"I'll be right back." I say to Brandi taking her hand off of my arm.  
I walk into the kitchen to see y/n pouring a drink with no expression on her face. She doesn't see me walk in so I lean against the door frame watching her.  
When she turns to go back in the room she stops in her tracks when she sees me.  
"Welcome back" I say grinning at her.  
She rolls her eyes and tried to push past me but I stand in front of her making it impossible.  
"Please move." Is all she says looking at the ground.  
"You don't want to talk to me?" I say looking down at her. Close enough to smell her. God she smells so good. I just want to pull her into me.  
"Seriously Eric? What do you want me to say? She's pretty. Glad you moved on. Good for you. Now let me do the same." She says more calm then I expected as she finally manages to push past me.  
I follow her back in the room and see her go back to where she was sitting by Robyn and V.  
Fuck this. If that's how it's gonna be then good.   
I look around and see Brandi leaning on the pool table laughing with Brooks. This guy I fucking swear. I walk over to at least get in on the conversation. I can't help but glance her way every now and then but she never looks at me. Any other time we've been in the same room and I can search out her eyes but this time it's not happening. It hurts. But this is what I wanted. I have to leave her alone.

Y/n pov

The more I drink the less it hurts. If I avoid looking in his direction then I can pretend he isn't here. Everyone eventually moves to where we are sitting. Me, Robyn, and Dylan on the couch. Nate and Brooks sitting in the floor in front of us. And Eric and Brandi leaned up against the pool table where I have no choice but to look at them. I'm on my 5th drink now though and I'm numb. It's like I'm in a movie and it's not really my life.   
Robyn leans over and asks me if I'm okay and I smile and nod my head at her. I am pretty okay right now honestly. I'm even having fun listening to the guys reminiscing and making fun of each other. But that's when I notice it. Brandi leans in and whispers something in Eric's ear and I see the smirk grow on his face. My smirk. I'm starting to get pissed and my leg starts to bounce uncontrollably.  
"I see it to girl. Look away." Robyn leans in and whispers.  
Just before I do I see Brandi reach down and grab his hand holding it while looking up at him.  
"Nah. Fuck that. I can play that game to." I say shaking my head and taking a big drink.  
"Dylan! Truth or dare!" I yell out breaking up all the conversations going on.  
"Uhhh dare I guess." He says smiling at me.  
"I dare you to go jump in the swimming pool." I say trying not to laugh."  
"Girl it's freezing outside!" Robyn says laughing.  
"Fuck it!" Dylan yells as he jumps up and opens the sliding door and takes off running doing a cannon ball into the pool.  
"Shit that's fucking cooooold!" He yells when he comes up.  
Everyone is laughing hysterically as he runs straight up stairs to change clothes.  
"Well that was a hell of a way to start truth or dare!" Brooks says.  
Before Dylan comes back I tell Robyn that when it's her turn to ask to pick me and dare me to kiss someone.  
"Oh shit girl. You are about to start a war. I'm so down though.." she says wiggling her eyebrows at me making me laugh.  
My eyes land on Eric who is glaring at me and I just smile at him. Nothing left to do at this point. Fight fire with fire.  
When Dylan finally comes back he of course picks Robyn.  
"Truth" she says smiling at him.  
"Ahh you chicken. Okay let me think. Is it true that you had sex at a rest stop in Wyoming?" He asks making everyone's jaw drop. Dylan isn't usually this open but I guess the alcohol does that to everyone..  
"Yep" she says with red cheeks.  
"Wait! That's why y'all left me sitting at the airport for forever?! Assholes!" I say slapping Robyn's arm.  
"Y'all went and got her?" Eric says interrupting everyone's laughter.  
"We sure did." Robyn says without missing a beat.  
"Allllright. Y/n. Truth or dare??" She says looking excited.  
"Well Robyn. Since I'm not a chicken like you, I'm gonna go with dare." I say smiling at her.  
"Oh this is gonna be good!" Dylan says leaning in.  
"You have no idea" Robyn replies.  
"Shit. Here it goes. I dare you to pick someone in the room and kiss them. And not just a peck either!" She says loudly enough so that everyone heard her.  
"You were supposed to say a name Robyn. Damnit." I whisper at her.  
I sit still for a minute trying to decide who it's gonna be. I almost back out and just grab Robyn to shock the shit out of everybody but that would defeat the purpose. Right before I chicken out and I look over and see Brandi go up on her toes and kiss Eric on the cheek and I see red. Without another thought I stand up and walk straight over to Nate and sit on my knees in front of him.  
"You okay with this or should I pick someone else?" I say looking at him.  
"I'm so good with this" he says starring at me in shock.  
The room goes silent as I put my hand on the side of his face and pull him in.  
The kiss lasted long enough for our tongues to touch and I pulled away and walked back to my seat picking up my cup and taking a drink. Everyone starred at me like I was on fire. Until I glanced Eric's way and he actually was on fire. His face was bright red and his fists were clenched so hard that his knuckles were white.  
"So that happened" Dylan says breaking the silence and everyone dies laughing. Except for Eric. Who looks like he is going to snap at any minute. And I can't help but laugh internally. You wanna play, let's play I think to myself smiling at him.  
"Go with me to fill up my cup?" I ask Robyn.  
"Absolutely!" She says smiling at me.  
Once in the kitchen she starts to freak out.  
"Holy shit y/n you should have seen his face! I'm still not convinced that he isn't going to tear this place apart! That was fucking brilliant!" She says pacing back and forth.  
"I'm not just gonna sit back and watch him with another girl and not doing anything. I hope it hurt him just as bad as he has hurt me. Fuck him." I say smiling to myself as I pour my drink.  
When we get back in the room it seems that the game had ended and the boys are back shooting pool with Eric and Brandi watching. Me and Robyn go back to our seats and I sit my cup down and walk down the hall to the bathroom.  
I finish up and check myself in the mirror saying out loud that I shouldn't drink anymore tonight before I open the door and start to walk out only to get pushed back in forcefully.  
"What the fuck are you doing?!" Eric screams in my face as he locks the door.  
"I don't know what you mean" I say back smiling at him.  
"Don't give me that shit y/n. Why would you do that?!" He screams back at me pushing me into the sink.  
"I guess the same reason you would parade what's her name around in front of me holding her hand and letting her kiss you. Knowing I would see it. You should have left the minute you knew I was here." I say calmly not letting him upset me.  
He stares at me in silence for a uncomfortable minute before he puts his hand on my throat pushing me further into the counter with his face close to mine.  
"Stop it Eric. Let go of me. You wanted this!" I say starting to get upset.  
"Yes I did." He agrees not letting his grip loosen at on on my neck while he brings his other hand up to my cheek rubbing it with his thumb.  
"Eric please stop!" I say trying to not cry.  
"You don't want me to stop y/n. If you did you would he fighting to get away. But you aren't. You like this. We both know it." He says looking into my eyes with a smirk on his face.  
I push him away from me and try to catch my breath and not cry as he comes right back at me.  
"Look at me y/n. He says not touching me but centimeters away from my face.  
"Please fucking look at me." He says sounding desperate.  
"Your girlfriend is waiting for you." I say not looking at him and trying to push past him but he stops me by grabbing me around the waist and bringing me back to him.  
He lifts my chin with his finger forcing me to look into his eyes.  
"You are the only one for me. You know I love you" he says coming in for a kiss but I turn my head before he can make contact.  
"Don't do that" I say trying to pull away.  
"Stop fighting me. We both need this. You know I'm right." He says going in again and finally making contact.  
I try to break away but eventually give in. It feels so right and I have horrible judgement right now.  
My thoughts start to swarm in my brain thinking about them together and I pull back.  
"Did you do this with her?" I ask looking down at the floor.  
"Never. We went and ate dinner and she came with me tonight. I swear that's it." He said bringing my chin up again to make me look at him.  
Before I can respond there's a knock on the door.  
"Y/n are you okay?" Robyn yells through the door.  
He looks into my eyes waiting on my response.  
"I'm fine Robyn." I yell back not able to break eye contact.  
"Eric I will fuck you up. You know that right?" She says.  
A smile starts to form on his face.  
"Tell me to leave and I will." He says while still looking at me so close to my face.  
I can't respond. It's like I'm in a trance.  
He turns away from me reaching for the door and before I can think about it I grab his hand and pull him back to me.  
"Don't leave me" I say with a shaky voice.  
"Eric please don't leave me" I say pleading with him this time.  
"Here we go with this shit again." He says pulling his hand away and placing both of them on his hips.  
"You know I have fucking feelings right?" I say pushing myself away from the counter towards him.  
Without a word he lifts me up and sits me on the counter standing between my legs and slams his lips into mine. I don't fight it this time. I give in bringing my arms up around his neck and pulling him in closer.  
With his hands now on my thighs he pulls me further to him and I can feel his hardness though his pants. I know I shouldn't give into him but my body is taking over.  
He starts to grind into me as he goes down and bites my neck.  
"Eric I want you so bad. Please" I say into his ear.  
" I know baby. But you have to know that this doesn't change anything." He says bringing his forehead to rest on mine.  
I should stop this. My brain is screaming at me to get out of this room with him but instead I shake my head yes as he goes back down and kisses my neck and unbuckles his pants.  
I pull my pajama pants down taking my panties with then and kick them onto the floor as his own pants drop down.  
Before I'm even back positioned right on the counter his fingers are inside of me.  
I let out a loud moan not able to control it anymore and he brings his other hand up covering my mouth.  
"Shh you gotta be quiet. Not a sound." He says into my ear as his fingers pump in and out of me.  
He pulls them out and pulls me down off the counter turning me around to face the mirror now bent over as he lines himself up with me.  
"Look at me." He says and I look straight into the mirror locking my eyes with his.  
"Not a sound baby" he says smiling as he pushes himself all the way in me.  
I bite my lip trying not to moan out and I swear I could taste blood.  
He reaches up and puts a hand on my shoulder pulling me back into him with every thrust and as I start to feel the burning in my lower stomache I let my head fall forward letting out a soft moan.  
"Are you gonna cum for me?" He asks softly.  
I moan in response.  
"Open your eyes baby. Look at me" he says and right before I feel my release our eyes lock and I feel my body start shake as he goes faster sending me over the edge.   
"Fuck I've missed this" he says as he reaches up and grabs my hair in his fist pulling my head back. A few more thrusts and I feel his body tense up as I watch him in the mirror.  
He clenches his jaw and digs his fingers into my hips trying not to make a sound as he reaches his peak.  
As he starts to come back down he lays his head in my back wrapping his arms around my waist.  
"Eric you have to get off me now!" I say starting to panic.  
He moves back quickly as I turn around looking at him in horror.  
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" He asks reaching down and pulling his pants up.  
"Are you fucking kidding me?! No I'm not okay. Do you not see what's missing here??" I yell at him.  
He just stands there looking at me confused.  
"Eric we didn't use a fucking condom!"   
The look on his face said it all.  
"Oh shit. I fucked up." He says smiling at me as he finishes buckling his pants and walks out of the bathroom leaving me standing there.


	26. Love Is a Four Letter Word, But So Is Hate

Y/n pov

After Eric left me in the bathroom alone I of course lost my shit. How could we be so careless! This cannot happen right now. I'm not ready and he sure as hell isn't!  
After cleaning myself up and finally figuring out how to breathe again I open the door to walk out. Not in any form to face the crowd I go straight to Robyn and ask her where I can go pass out for the night.  
"Is everything okay? Did he hurt you?" She asks pulling me into her.  
"Robyn I promise I will tell you. But not right now. I just really want to be alone." I say feeling like a ragdoll in her embrace.  
"Okay girl. But if it makes you feel any better, once Brandi caught on to what was happening she had Brook and Nate take her home.." she says smiling at me like we won a fight.  
Honestly I had completely forgotten about that whole situation. I wish I could say I felt bad but about that I do not.  
"Dylan where can y/n crash?" She yells out across the room at him as I finally look up for the first time and see him talking to Eric.  
When he looks over at us his face is drained of all color and he looks like he may be sick.  
"Uhh wanna just crash on the couch? Sorry I can't offer more than that but my parents would be super pissed if anyone slept in there room." He says back shaking his head as if to snap himself out of whatever he had going on.  
"I don't care at all." I say walking past them and out of the room.  
Once on the couch I kick my shoes off and lay down immediately closing my eyes trying to shut my brain off.  
I feel him sit down by my feet but choose to not react.  
"We really need to talk about.. uh.. that situation I guess." Eric says.  
"I'm so mad at both of us. How could we be so careless." I say without opening my eyes and fighting tears.  
"Hey it's my fault. All the bad stuff usually is." He says placing his hand on my leg for comfort.  
"I should have stopped you before it even went that far. You don't want me Eric. You just don't want anyone else to have me. I can't live my life like that. I can't risk losing myself Everytime I'm around you. And I won't have a choice but to be around you if..." I trail off as I bury my face in the pillow letting the tears fall. I can't say it out loud. Then it becomes too real.  
"We will figure it out babe." He says scooting in closer to me.  
"Don't call me that." I say pulling my legs in closer to me so he is no longer in contact.  
"What? Are you serious?" He says trying to pull the pillow away from my face.  
"Eric I don't have the energy to fight with you anymore. You are killing me. I have nothing left for you to take from me." I say fighting as hard as I can to keep my hold on the pillow.  
"I love you so fucking much. That's what you don't understand. Everything I have done is because I love you." He says finally giving up.  
I sit straight up at that statement feeling the anger pouring out of me.  
"That is the dumbest shit I have ever heard! I hurt you because I love you." I say making air quotations.  
"Save it for someone who doesn't know you like I do". I spit at him.  
"Don't fucking mock me y/n! That's the worst thing you could do right now!" He stands up yelling at me.  
"Hey! You 2 need to stop this shit! Right fucking now! Eric, you are in my house and in my house we don't talk to women like that! Either get your shit together or get the fuck out of here!" I here Dylan yell walking towards Eric.  
"Whose fucking friend are you V?" Eric says back pushing his chest into Dylan's.  
I jump up off the couch getting in between them. It's my fault they are fighting in the first place.  
"Y'all please. Can we all just stop. I have had the worst couple months of my life and apparently it's about to get a lot worse!" I scream out directing it towards Eric.  
"Would it really be so bad y/n? You think that little of me now?" He says back now with all of his attention back on me.  
I know it's all a act. He doesn't want this. He doesn't even want me let alone..  
"Y/n let's just go home. I haven't drank in hours. I'm fine to drive. Let me take you home." Robyn says walking into the room.  
"No fuck that. We need to talk. You are going to have to talk to me." Eric says moving closer to me.  
I look back and forth between the 2 for a minute weighing out my options.  
"Robyn please take me home." I say looking into Eric's eyes and seeing them grow dark.

Eric pov

This is a complete nightmare I think to myself as I watch her and Robyn pull out of V's driveway.  
I can't believe I fucked up to this degree. This could change everything. I can't leave her.. or them if that's the case.  
"V what do I do?" I say feeling like a lost child.  
"Dude. I have no idea what to say to you." He says looking at me with wide eyes.  
"Maybe it won't happen." I say trying to convince myself.  
"But what if it does man. Obviously I'm not worried about how if effects you. But her.. dude." He says shaking his head at me.  
"It could happen to anyone. I got caught up in the moment man. Damnit I fucked it all up!" I say slamming down on the couch with my hands over my face.  
After a few minutes I break the silence thinking out loud  
"My parents would take care of them. It's not like they would be alone.." I say more to myself than him.  
"I cannot believe you just said that shit Reb. You would actually still go through with it knowing?" He says looking like he wants to hurt me.  
"V, I told you. Nothing is stopping this. It's my destiny. So don't go there right now." I say leaning back and picking at my hands.  
"You are unbelievable!" He says standing up and walking up the stairs to his room and slamming the door living me alone with my thoughts.

Y/n pov

Robyn gave me a few minutes of silence on the car ride home before she couldn't take it anymore.  
"What happened y/n?" She asks nervously.  
"I will tell you. But if you start freaking out I swear I will walk the rest of the way home. I'm freaking out enough already." I say back to her.  
She nods her head at me not looking to sure of herself.  
"We didn't use a condom." I blurt out wincing at the sound of it coming out of my mouth.  
"Well.. I mean.. that was dumb but it's a very slim chance with the pull out method so you are probably okay." She says trying her best to put on a fake smile.  
"Yeah well apparently Eric has never heard of that method." I say back looking out the window.  
"Oh shit..." She says quietly in response.  
"Yeah" is all I say back.  
The rest of the ride home is silent. I'm too lost in my thoughts to talk about it anymore and I'm sure she just doesn't know what to say.  
When we pull up at her house she gets out and meets me at my side of the car hugging me tight.  
"You know I'm here for you no matter what happens. And I'm sure Eric will come around." She says as she pulls away giving me a small smile.  
If she only knew what he has planned. But I can't tell her. Even though I'm so mad at him right now I just can't.  
I nod my head at her in response and walk around to the basement door straight to my room for clothes and immediately into the shower. There aren't any tears left in me so I just stand under the hot water until it turns cold and crawl into my bed.  
With sleep nowhere in sight my brain starts to go in overdrive. I've resorted to weighing out the pros and cons of the situation. The list of cons of course exceeds the pros by a long shot but there's this one nagging thought that maybe, just maybe it would stop him. Maybe if he knew that we created this thing together then he would come around. With that thought I fall into a deep sleep.  
Waking up the next afternoon I walk upstairs for some coffee.  
"Thank god. Please call Eric back so he will stop calling. That phone has rang at least 5 times in the last 2 hours and it's been him every single time!" Marie says looking pissed.  
"If he calls back I'll answer it." I say too nervous to make that call.  
Before I even get my cup of coffee poured the phone is ringing again.  
"Hello?!" Marie says angrily.  
Without another word she shoves the phone my way on the counter.  
"What Eric?" I say.  
"Hey can we please talk. Like today, in person. I know you are pissed at me and all but we can't just ignore this." He says without taking a breath.  
"Sure. Come over whenever." I say and hang up the phone.  
With my coffee in hand I walk back downstairs and sit down on the couch. I don't have a care in the world right now about how I look or that I haven't even brushed my teeth yet. I just want to get this over with.  
It doesn't take long for Eric to start knocking on the door.  
I walk over and open it and go right back to the couch.  
"So you need be quiet first of all. I'm not ready to tell my sister any of this yet. Not until we know for sure." I say starting the conversation.  
"And also, the very first time you raise your voice to me then this is over." I add.  
He shakes his head and walks over and sits beside me.  
"All I really wanted to say is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry about last night and for everything that I've done to you. But I need you to know that you won't be able through any of this." He says looking right at me. I feel my heart start to beat faster at the realization of what he may be saying.  
"Once we know for sure and I tell my parents I'm sure they will be pissed at first. But once everything is done they are going to be there for you and the kid." He says with a look on his face that I think is supposed to be reassuring but it's right the opposite.  
I can't form words. I know I must look crazy sitting there looking at him with my mouth hanging open but I am in utter shock.  
I cannot believe that he just said that.  
"Say something please." He says looking at me concerned.  
"I think it's in your best interest if I don't speak right now." I say trying my best to steady my voice.  
"I just thought you would feel better about it all if I let you know that I guess" he says oblivious to what I'm upset about.  
"Yeah Eric. Because raising a child by myself who's father killed a bunch of people and then himself is supposed to make me so happy!" I yell out not able to control it.  
"You really aren't going to quit with this shit are you?" He says with a smirk but it's not the smirk I'm used to at all.  
"Oh I should quit with my shit? Because I'm the one with the horrible plans?" I scream at him..  
"Y/n be quiet please!" He pleads at me.  
"You would really leave me alone to raise your child? You would still go through with this stupid shit knowing what you are leaving behind?" I say hoping to wake him up from his delusions.  
"I have to. I know you don't understand but I wish you would at least try.." he says sadly looking down at his hands.  
"Go away Eric." I say coldly.  
He jerks his head up and looks at me confused.  
"I'm serious. I can't believe I fell in love with someone so evil. But that's over. You just erased every bit of love I ever had for you. You got what you wanted and I mean it when I say it this time. Go away. Leave me the fuck alone." I say as I get up and walk into my room slamming the door and locking it.


	27. Du hast mein ganzes Herz

Eric pov

After she stormed into her room I sat alone on the couch in utter shock. I really thought what I had to tell her would make her feel better about everything. Until I realized she had it in her head once again that she could "save me".   
I don't know how many more times I have to say that it's happening before she finally accepts it. I get that it's a fucked up situation for her and I should have never got her involved. I know that. If I had just kept my mouth closed and my journal.. she would never know anything about it. I swear I can be so fucking stupid.  
I'm pulled out of my thoughts by her bedroom door opening back up.  
"Why are you still here Eric?" She asks standing in her doorway with tear streaked cheeks.  
"I honestly don't know y/n" I say standing up and walking towards her.  
"Stop! Don't do that!" She yells out before I can take another step.  
"You have made your mind up about everything. There's nothing left for us to talk about." She says folding her arms over her chest.  
"But there is." I say pointing at her stomache.  
"You don't have a say in anything to do with that... Situation!" She yells at me.  
"So our could be child is going to be known as the situation?" I say making air quotations with my fingers and feeling angry.  
With that she shakes her head and walks into the bathroom.

Y/n pov

Once I close the door to my bathroom I walk to the sink splashing water on my face hoping it calms me down. I've never felt so many emotions at once before. The worst thing that could possibly happen right now could actually be happening and I feel so alone. Right before I decide to open the door and walk back out to try to calmly have a conversation, I hear the back door close. He was gone.  
I go and sit down on the couch where he had been sitting and bury my face in my hands when I hear a knock on the door.  
Before I can go to answer it Robyn walks in.  
"Hey girl I saw Eric leaving.. everything okay?" She asks coming to sit beside me.  
"Nothing is okay Robyn." I say back.  
"Y'all both need to calm down. I mean I get that you guys are so on again off again but it's not like he isn't going to step up and be there when he needs to." She says trying to make me feel better.  
"If. If he needs to." I say back knowing deep down that's not a option for me.  
"Okay if. How long until we can know something?" She asks rubbing my back.  
"I don't have a clue. I've never been in this situation before." I reply.  
"I think maybe you should tell your sister. I mean, I'm sure she knows what you two have been up to.." she says wiggling her eyebrows at me.  
"I think I probably should to. But I'm so scared to find out." I say putting my face back in my hands.  
Later on that evening I had the conversation with Marie. I could tell she was upset but she was trying so hard to be supportive. She told me that it could take up to 6 weeks to find out by a store bought test but that blood work would show it sooner so she would make me a doctor's appointment for two weeks out. Two long weeks of not knowing where my life would go from here. She also tried to reassure me that she thought Eric would step up and do the right thing. Everytime I hear someone say it I get more upset. I know they don't know any better and I'm not telling them anything. I'm still holding on to the little thread of hope that he won't really do it.  
Christmas day came and I spent it with my sister, brother in law, and niece. They got me a few new things for my room and a new mini backpack that I desperately needed. After all of the presents were opened and dinner had been served we all went our separate ways meaning they went to bed because it was getting late and left me alone with my thoughts.  
I decided to get online to see if Robyn or Dylan was on so I could just talk to someone but they weren't and of course he was.

Rebdomine: I've been waiting on you to get on all day.   
Y/n: why?  
Rebdomine: because I left your present at the basement door. I knocked but I guess you were upstairs.  
Y/n: why would you get me a present?  
Rebdomine: why wouldn't I? 

With that I stand up from the computer and bound down the stairs opening the door. I see a small box sitting on the stairs. I pause shortly before I open it not knowing what to expect. Inside I find a necklace with a locket. I open it to find it empty. I close it back and turn it around and see an inscription.  
"Du hast mein ganzes Herz"  
I don't have the first clue what that means but I assume it's German.  
With the locket in hand I head back upstairs to see the chat box still open where I left it and several messages

Rebdomine: go get it  
Rebdomine: did you go get it?  
Rebdomine: I'm guessing you went and got it or you just aren't talking to me  
Y/n: yes I have it.  
Rebdomine: do you like it? I ordered it a long time ago when we were still together. I still wanted you to have it. Plus I couldn't return it with that inscription.  
Y/n: I dont know what it means Eric.  
Rebdomine: that's a shame. I guess unless you agree to see me soon then you will never know.  
Y/n: or I could just ask Dylan..  
Rebdomine: seriously? Come on. Please  
Y/n: I don't have a answer for that right now.  
Rebdomine: well let me know when you do

And with that he signed off. 

I go back downstairs and sit on my bed holding the locket in my hand. I want to put it on but if I do Eric may get the wrong idea. I know I have said at least ten times that I'm done with him. That I never want to see him again. But once again my brain and my heart want two very different things.  
I put the locket on my dresser for safe keeping until I figure out what to do and I crawl under my covers covering my head.

Eric pov

After signing off I laid down on my bed trying to sort out my thoughts. I can't let my brain keep picturing a future with her even though I kind of want that. I want NBK more. The thought of her excites me but the thought of it sends me over the edge with adrenaline. That's how I know it has to happen. I expected V to be by my side working out the plans with me but once again I'm left alone. But I will do what I have to do. Once we find out for sure if y/n is pregnant with my child or not I will know which way to go. Either she is and I spend the next 3 months with her, making all the memories I can give her, or she's not and I cut her off completely for real this time. I don't have a choice if I'm going to stay on track and do this right. Tomorrow I will ask her when she will know. Until then I'll wait and stress the fuck out.

Robyn pov

I woke up Wednesday morning ready for the day. I knew Dylan would he coming over tonight for new years Eve. He doesn't know that my parents are leaving me the house while they go out of town to celebrate. I thought I would surprise him! Thinking about it though I wonder if he would get pissed if I invite y/n over to. I know she could use the distraction and they are friends just as much as me and her are.  
I walk upstairs and sign on the computer to see if either of them are on

RA99: heyyy girl! How are you feeling?  
Y/n: other than the deep dark depression I guess I'm okay. What's up?  
RA99: I thought you might want to come over tonight for new years Eve! Mom and dad are leaving for the night and Dylan is coming.   
Y/n: so I would be the third wheel?  
RA99: never girl! Please come!  
Y/n: I'll walk over for a bit  
RA99: awesome! See you later

After eating something and taking a shower I get dressed and go downstairs to say goodbye to my parents before they leave.  
As soon as I see them pull out I call Dylan.  
"Hello?" He answers.  
"Baaaaaby come over. I miss you!" I say dramatically.  
"If I come over now you are gonna be sick of me by midnight. It's only 1 o'clock." He says laughing.  
"Are you kidding? I will never get tired of you. Now come to me!!" I say excitedly.  
"I'm on my way." He says and hangs up.  
It usually takes him 30 minutes to get here so I decide to kill time on the computer and I see that y/n is still on

RA99: what are you doing??  
Y/n: absolutely nothing. Sitting here staring at Eric's name and trying to decide if I should message him or not.  
RA99: you guys have to talk it out at some point.   
Y/n: I don't know how to Robyn. We either end up fighting or fucking. There's no in between with us.  
RA99: why don't you see if he wants to come tonight? I don't mind and I know Dylan won't.  
Y/n: nope. Not doing that.

And she was gone.   
I decide to take matters into my own hands. I mean, how bad could it get with me and Dyl there to referee? We just can't let them get alone anywhere, I think to myself before clocking in his name.

RA99: so listen...  
Rebdomine: oh gawd. What?  
RA99: Dylan is coming over tonight and so is y/n. I think you should come and you guys talk about your.. situation?  
Rebdomine: does she know you are inviting me?  
RA99: well no..   
Rebdomine: you are as bad as me Robyn.  
RA99: oh hell no! You are uninvited!  
Rebdomine: wait now. What time is she coming? If I pull up before she is over there she probably won't come. You know that right?  
RA99: I honestly don't know. Want me to call you when she gets here?  
Rebdomine: yeh do that.

I start to wonder if this was a good idea or not. She may hate me forever..

Y/n pov

I walked upstairs to look out the window at 6 that evening. Dylan is already there. I guess I could walk over for a little while. It's not like I have anything else to do. I walk downstairs and out my Chucks on and before I turn around I see the locket on my dresser. I put it on and remind myself to ask Dylan what it says.  
I knock on the front door and nobody answers so I walk around back. When Robyn opens the door I can tell I was interrupting something..  
"Hey y'all want me to come back later? Or not at all.." I say feeling shitty about interrupting.  
"No girl it's okay! Come in!" Robyn says back laughing a little.  
"We just finished." Dylan says bluntly with red cheeks.  
"Well damn y'all" I say feeling embarrassed.  
"So what are we doing tonight?" I ask as I sit down on the couch.  
"Just chilling. Wanna play Mortal Kombat with me?" Dylan says as he cuts on the gaming system.  
"Yeah y'all go ahead I'm gonna go grab is some snacks!" Robyn says as she heads up the stairs.

Eric pov

I had been walking around my house holding the phone in my hand for hours waiting on the call. I knew this was a bad idea but I want to see her. My head is so fucked up.  
As I sit on the couch watching TV with my parents the phone finally rings  
"Hello??" I say   
"Eric?" I recognize Robyn's voice.  
" Yeah what's up?"   
"She's here if you want to come over." She says like music to my ears.  
"I'm on my way." I say hanging up the phone and grabbing my long black jacket by the door.  
"Where are you doing Eric?" My mom says as she stands and walks my way.  
"I have to go talk to y/n." I reply back.  
"Oh honey I thought you were done with that. She's just going to hurt you again!" She says looking worried.  
"Mom it's not how you think. She isn't the one hurting me. It's always been my fault" I say as I walk out the front door.  
"Please be careful Eric!" She yells after me.


	28. One Last Time

Y/n pov

Once Robyn walked up stairs and Dylan sat down beside me on the couch I reached up and grabbed the locket in my hand.  
"Hey Dylan can you tell me what this means?" I said turning it so he could see.   
He moved in closer to read the small writing.   
"Did you get that from Eric?" He asks with his eyebrows crunched together.  
"Yeah. He gave it to me for Christmas. Actually he left it in my doorstep. But he said he wouldn't tell me what it meant unless I see him in person. And I'm not sure I'm ready for that right now." I say looking down.  
"You know you can talk to me right? He told me about everything the night it happened. And obviously I know about all the other plans. I know that no one else does. And I just wanted you to know I'm here for you I guess." He says looking up at me.  
Before he lets go of the locket and pulls away Robyn comes back down the stairs.  
"Uhh what the fuck?!" She asks stopping at the bottom of the stairs and looking super pissed.  
"What?" Dylan asks looking at her confused as I do the same.  
"What are you guys doing? Because I know it can't be what it looked like!" She replies looking like she may cry.  
"Oh God Robyn! No!! I was asking Dylan what the inscription on my locket says! That's it! I can't believe you would even think that!" I say feeling awkward while Dylan laughs hysterically.  
"Oh shit. I'm so sorry y/n! I lost my brain for a minute there." She says walking over and sitting the snacks down on the coffee table before she gives me a hug.  
"So what does it say?" She asks grabbing it and turning it around in her fingers.  
"I think Eric should be the one to tell her that. He gave it to her." Dylan replies sitting back on the couch and grabbing his controller to finally start the game.  
"Tell her what?" I hear him say from the stairs.  
"Well come on in Eric." Robyn says sarcastically.  
"I knocked and no one answered. It was unlocked so I let myself in." He says coming to sit down beside me.  
I'm too shocked at his sudden appearance to even react verbally. But my body betrays me at how it reacts to being so close to him.  
"Hey" is all he says leaning closer to me.  
"Hi" I reply back not daring to look his way.  
"So.. don't hate me for setting you up. Because that's obviously what this is. But we all know you two need to talk. This is a serious thing going on here with you guys and you can't keep ignoring." Robyn says sitting in a chair opposite us.  
I feel like I'm being out on trial. Everyone knows all of my personal business and they seem to want to tell me what to do or how to act when they don't even know how I really feel.  
"So talk" I say directing it towards Eric as I sit back on the couch.  
"Could we have some privacy guys?" He asks looking at them.  
"Nu uh. If we leave you guys will either kill each other or end up in another situation. We all know how this goes. We are here to referee." Robyn says closing her hands together in her lap.  
"Come in Dylan..." Eric pleads with him.  
"Sorry Reb. I gotta agree with this one." He replies back while playing the game.  
"Can we at least go sit on the stairs or something so y'all aren't just staring at us?" He asks getting irritated.  
"Fine! Dylan let's go upstairs. But the first time I hear raised voices.. or no voices for that matter, I'm coming down!" She's says pulling Dylan away from the game and up the stairs with him complaining the whole time.  
"That locket looks good on you." He says reaching out and taking it in his hand.  
I gently push his hand away terrified of the contact.  
"Yeah thanks. Now are you going to tell me what it means?" I reply moving to the other side of the couch now facing him.  
"Not until we talk" he says also turning my way. A good 3 feet between us. This should be okay, I think to myself.  
"Then talk Eric" I say dryly.  
"I need to know when you are going to find out." He blurts out.  
"Marie made me a appointment for next week. She said a blood test will be quicker and more accurate than one if those store bought things." I say with no emotion.  
It's been what, like a week and a half? I looked it up online and it said those expensive ones can pick it up sooner." He replies.  
"Why do you want to know so bad? It's not like you plan on being around for any of it!" I say trying to hide the emotion in my voice.  
"That's not true. We have a little over 3 months left!" He says moving closer to me. I put my hand up to stop him.  
"Stay there Eric." I say causing a smirk to form on his face.  
"Why y/n? Do you know how hard it is for me to not touch you?" He says pushing my hand down and grabbing it in his own.  
I try to pull away but he has a solid grip on it and there is no point in fighting it.  
"So what's going to happen if I am? You are just going to make me fall farther in love with tout before you go? Because that's a really sick plan. If I am do you know what will happen when you leave? I will mourn so hard that the baby probably wouldn't survive!" I say a little louder than I should.  
"That's the first time you have called it that.. the baby" he says looking down at our intertwined hands.  
"Do I hear yelling?" Robyn calls out from the top of the stairs.  
"We are good Robyn." He calls back.  
"I'm gonna need to hear that from y/n!" She replies.  
He looks at me with his eyebrows raised waiting on me to respond.  
"It's okay Robyn." I say back.  
We sat in silence for a few minutes both lost in thought before I finally broke the silence.  
"So if I'm not what's your plan?" I ask nervously.  
He drops his head down before he finally answers.  
"I'm not going to lie to you okay. If you aren't I need you to stay away from me. Don't contact me. It will he easier on both of us that way." He says still looking down.  
I knew that's what he would say. But hearing it come out of his mouth makes it final.  
" Can we just have tonight together? I know I'm hurting you y/n and I'm so fucking sorry that I dragged you into this. But just one night where we don't talk about it, and try not to think about it, that's all I'm asking."he says turning his head and looking at me.  
I want to say no. My brain is screaming at me to say no. But if all I have left with him is one night then that's what my heart wants.  
I squeeze his hand that is still holding on to my and shake my head yes.  
He lets go of my hand and reaches out and pulls me into him. With my face buried in his neck we stayed that way for what seemed like forever.   
I have to shut my brain off and not let the bad thoughts take over. If this is all we have left then I have to make the best of it, I think to myself as he pulls away.  
"So what do you want to do? Name anything and we will do it right now." He says taking my hand back in his.  
"I just want you to hold me Eric." I say as a tear breaks free and rolls down my cheek.  
He catches it with his thumb and wipes it away.  
"Please don't cry baby" he says looking at me with genuine compassion.  
"I'm trying Eric." Is all I can say back.  
Robyn comes bounding loudly down the stairs making her presence known but he doesn't take his hand out of mine he only squeezes it harder.  
"Everything okay down here?" She asks as Dylan follows behind her.  
"Robyn please don't be mad. But we are gonna go to my house. Just know that I'm fine and thank you for asking him to come over." I say standing and walking over to her for a hug.  
"You know where I am if you need me" she says looking at Eric with squinted eyebrows over my shoulder.  
Without another word we walk across the yard to my house hand in hand.  
When we get inside I lock the door behind us and then go and sit on the couch reaching my arms out for him to come to me.  
"You want to cuddle on the couch?" He says walking my way with a raised eyebrow.  
"I think it's the safer option, don't you?" I ask as he sits down beside me pulling me into his arms.  
"You don't trust me to just lay and hold you?" He asks nuzzling the top of my head with his cheek.  
"I don't trust myself." I say quietly.  
"So why don't we go lay down in your bed, and I'll hold you, and if you decide you want more than that then who cares?" He says and I can hear the smile in his voice.  
"I think you could talk me into anything Eric Harris" I say laughing in his arms.  
"God I love to hear your laugh" he responds moving his head away from mine and bringing my chin up with his finger.  
"I love everything about you baby. I hope you know that." He says looking into my eyes.  
"Stop it Eric." I reply before he can say anything else.  
I pull away from him and stand up grabbing his hand and pulling him with me.  
Without a word we walk into my room and I lock the door behind us.  
He sits down on my bed taking his jacket and shoes off while I try my hardest to undo the clasp on the locket to take it off.  
When he gets his shoes off he looks up at me and see what I'm doing   
"Here let me help" he says standing and taking the clasp out of my hands.  
"What does it mean Eric?" I ask hoping he will finally give me a answer.  
I can see him smiling in the reflection on my mirror. Our eyes lock and his face grows serious. He gets the locket undo and drops it in my hand and I place it back in the dresser.  
"Not yet" he whisper in my ear as he makes me way down to plant a soft kiss on my neck. When he pulls his head away I let out a soft moan in protest.  
"Seems like your body might be betraying you y/n." He says laughing as he goes to lay down on my bed.   
He pats the spot next to him signaling me to lay down to.  
I walk over to the side of the bed and pull my hoodie off taking my shirt with it and then quickly undo my jeans tossing them on the floor leaving me in only my bra and panties.  
I look down and see the hunger in his eyes and smile at him while I climb over him and onto the bed.  
"Jesus woman. This cuddle session is going to go the opposite direction really fast with you like that." He says rolling into me and wrapping me in his arms.  
I snuggle my back side into him in response and I hear a low hiss leave his mouth.  
"Listen, I'm all for whatever you have in mind here but the last few times we've done this it ended in you crying and me feeling like a complete dick so.." he says but before he can finish I roll over facing him and reach up placing my hand on the side of his face pulling him towards me and attacking his mouth with mine.  
He lets me lead the kiss which I'm not used to but I take full advantage of exploring his mouth with my tongue. When I bite down on his bottom lip he lets out a soft moan and tries to push me back on the bed but I resist pushing back into him and climbing on top straddling him never breaking the kiss.  
I pull him up so that we are nothing sitting as I straddle him and I reach down to pull his t-shirt off. Rammstein. Everytime I picture him this is the shirt he is wearing. I shake the thought away not daring to ruin this moment as I throw his shirt to the floor. I push him back down onto his back and slide down a little to work on his belt and pants.   
I get the belt off with no problem but get hung up on his pants. He eventually moves my hand and makes quick work of getting them undone and I raise up a little so he can get them off. He pulls me back down on top of him and reaches around my back to undo my bra. Just like me with his pants he is struggling with the clasp. I quickly reach back and undo it for him as he smiles up at me.  
"Teamwork" he says lightly laughing.  
"Lose these to" he says playing with the top of my panties.  
I stand up above him and pull them down and kick them to the floor seconds before he pulls me back down to him.  
"You are so beautiful baby" he says breathlessly before bringing me back in for another kiss.  
I reach over to my bedside table and pull out a condom handing it to him without losing contact with his lips.  
He makes quick work of opening it and getting it on while I kiss and nibble on his collarbone.  
When he finishes he places his hands on my hips giving me the okay.  
I line us up and slowly lower myself onto him.  
"Fuuuuck" he moans out quietly.  
"Mmmhmmm" I respond.  
When I've gone down as far as I can go I start to move around on him.  
Being the first time I've ever been on top I'm not sure if I'm doing it right and start to feel self conscious.  
"Maybe you should take over" I say trying to pull him over and on top of me but he grabs my hips not letting me.  
"No way. Do what feels good to you baby." He says as he takes his hands off of my hips placing them behind his head.  
I put my hands on his chest and begin to rock back and forth on him trying to find a good rythym but it just feels weird.  
He sees the frustration on my face and brings me down to his lips and as the kiss deepens he brings his hands back to my hips and starts to match my rythym with his own.  
Within minutes I can feel the pressure building up inside of me as I wrap my arms around his head and bury my face into his neck and let him take over raising my hips up so that he has room.  
He wraps his arms around my back as he trusts into me faster sending me over the edge. I can't stop the sounds coming out of my mouth and I honestly don't really try as I reach my release.  
"Do you know how hard it is to hold myself back when you are making those noises in my ear?" He says seriously as he rolls us over with me now under him.  
"So don't hold yourself back." He say looking up at him and biting my lip.  
"Hey that's my job" he says bringing his finger up and pulling my lip from between my teeth. Causing me to let out a growl.  
"Did you just growl at me?" He says as his pushes himself back into me.  
I can't answer as he starts to pick up speed.  
He leans back on his knees and grabs my hips bringing them up off of the bed and pulls me back into him never losing his rythym.  
This new angle is giving me feelings I've never felt before and I reach out grabbing my pillow and holding it over my face to silence myself.  
Squeezing my eyes closed I start to see stars as he begins to push me over the edge again.  
I throw the pillow away and reach up for him grabbing him by his neck and pulling him down to me as I buck my hips back into him and with no control left of my body I start to dig my nails into his back.  
He lets out a small wince but doesn't stop me and he doesn't stop either.  
I feel my release coming and I bury my face in his neck to silence my pleasure and he finds his release to and we finish together.   
He pulls himself out of me and lays on top of me snuggling his face into my neck. We stayed like that for several minutes before he props himself up on on hand looking down at me.  
"What?" I say giggling.  
"Du hast mein ganzes Herz" he says smiling at me.  
"Please tell me" I say pulling him back down to me.  
"You have my whole heart" he whipers into my ear.


	29. Nightmare

Eric pov

I kept her pulled as close to me as I could through the whole night. I never want to let her go even though I have to. As the sun came in through the window above her bed I watched her sleep, listened to her breathe, buried my nose into her hair to stamp the smell into my brain. It's now 1999. I spent my last new years with the love of my life. I've always heard whatever you are doing at midnight of the new year is what you will be doing the whole year. Guess that's another theory I will be proving wrong soon.  
She starts to stir in her sleep and pull away from me so I pull her back in close not wanting this to end right now.  
"Eric you are going to have to let me go" she says sleepily. I knew what she meant but the words cut me deep in my soul.  
"Just a little longer" I say wrapping her in my arms even tighter.  
"I can't breathe and I have to pee" she says pulling away and breaking my hold on her. I felt the loss immediately.  
She reaches in the floor and grabs my shirt and throws it on and walks out of the room.  
I roll onto my back looking at the ceiling. She goes to the doctor on Monday. 4 more days. School starts Wednesday signaling the end up Christmas break. Once time drug by, but that was before she came into my life. Now it seems like a week is just a day.  
She comes back in the room pulling me out of my head and lays back down beside me.  
"This shirt, it's mine now." She says rolling back into me.  
"I won't fight you on it" I reply wrapping my arms back around her.  
"You should probably go before Marie catches you down here. She is hunting for your head right now." She says laughing into my chest.  
"I don't want this to end right now." I say back.  
She pushed away from me looking into my eyes making my heart beat faster.  
"You have all the control Eric. With every single thing. You know you do." She says not looking away.  
I refuse to end this moment with her crying and us fighting again so I choose to stay silent and lean in giving her a small kiss on the cheek.  
"You are gonna have to give me a shirt if you are keeping that one. It's fucking snowing out there." I say as I stand up looking out the window.  
She stands and goes to her dresser pulling out a plain white tshit and tossing it to me as she pulls on a pair of pajama pants.  
"I will never forget any of this. I just want you to know that" she says reaching out and grabbing my hand.  
"Even when I'm a shriveled up old lady I will still look back on these times and miss you." She continues as I see the tears forming in her eyes.  
I can't respond without hurting her more so I just pull her into me.

Y/n pov

After Eric snuck across the yard and to his car still parked at Robyn's I went to take a shower and try to clear my mind. I don't know why I always think that will work when it never does.  
I nervously walk upstairs for food hoping that Marie didn't hear us or see him and after a few minutes my nerves calm when she doesn't mention anything about it.  
I finish my food and go back downstairs and fall into a deep sleep.

::: I'm sitting in lunch talking to Robyn when we hear the commotion. A teacher runs in and yells that someone is shooting inside of the school and we need to get down. Everyone starts to hide under tables but I go into shock and can't move. Robyn reaches up and grabs me pulling me down.  
Y/n we have to get out of here! Who would do this?!" She says crying.  
But I already know.  
Other students start to panic and they are running in all different directions but I can't move. Robyn is pulling on my arm trying to get me to go with her but I'm frozen.  
Dylan runs up grabbing Robyn's arms and trying to pull her out of the cafeteria but she refuses to leave me.  
"Y/n this is it! We have to go right now! He doesn't care who he takes out with him!" Dylan yells into my face as fear washes over me.  
I reach up and grab his hand as he grabs Robyn's with his other and together we head towards the door. There are so many people trying to get out at once and the gunfire is getting louder.  
"Let's go this way!" Dylan yells still pulling us both with him.  
Before we make it down the hallway we hear him.  
"Why in the fuck are y'all here?" He yells as he puts his gun to his side.  
My instincts kick in and I run towards him knowing that if I can just get to him that he will stop this.  
As I run the hallway just gets longer. When I look up at him he is standing with his gun at his side and hand on his hip smirking at me. I start to slow down when I realize I can't reach him.  
I eventually stop moving all together and fall to the floor screaming in agony.  
I hear him yelling but can't look up at him  
"I told you that you couldn't stop this! You just wouldn't fucking listen y/n! You need to wake the fuck up! WAKE UP!"  
::::::

Ii feel myself being shook and I sit straight up in bed hyperventilating and sweating all over.  
"Y/n I could hear you screaming from upstairs! Calm down you are scaring me!" Marie yells as she holds onto my shoulders.  
Once I come to my sense I realize it was a very bad dream. A fucking nightmare. But I could feel Robyn and Dylan pulling me. I could see him standing in the hall holding his gun. I could smell the smoke. I saw it all. The blood on the floor, everyone screaming.  
"I.. I'm okay. I just had a bad dream." I finally get out as Marie looks at me with a scared look on her face.  
"I'm gonna go get you some water" she says standing to leave.  
"I'll go. I need to get out of this room." I say quickly getting off of the bed where he had laid with me just hours ago.  
I walk up the stairs and into the kitchen and fill a glass with water chugging it down.  
The clock says 4:20 pm. That is some shit, I think to myself.  
After sitting at the counter and calming myself down I walk over and grab the phone needing to talk to someone.  
I quickly dial Dylan's number and wait for a answer. After several rings he finally picks up and I immediately start talking  
"Hey I'm sorry for calling like this fuck I just had a really fucked up dream and you said I could talk to you and well, I really need someone to talk to if thats okay." I say into the phone.  
"Of course it is" he says back.  
We talked for almost a hour. I told him all about the nightmare I had and he listened to everything I had to say.  
"Thank you for being here for me Dylan. I really cherish our friendship." I say before we end the call.  
After hanging up I dial Robyn's number to see if she feels like company. I can't just sit here in my head after everything that has happened. She of course tells me to come over.  
We sat in her room and I told her all about the night I had with Eric. I of course couldn't tell her about the dream though.  
"It sounds like you guys have it all worked out now!" She says happily which makes my heart ache.  
"Who knows." I reply not able to say much more.  
"I want you to know that you have a great guy though. I talked to Dylan for a while on the phone earlier and he helped me clear my head." I say without going into detail.  
"You talked to Dylan on the phone?" She asks looking confused.  
"Well yeah.. he told me that if I ever needed to talk he was there. So I just called him to talk." I reply back.  
"Uhh okay." She says and her whole demeanor changes.  
"Robyn what's wrong?" I ask.  
"It's just weird that you would call MY boyfriend to talk on the phone with" she exaggerates the word my seeming stand offish.  
"Wow.. Robyn he is my friend. I didn't think it would he a problem." I say back feeling like maybe I made the wrong move.  
She starts to loosen up a little and laughs it off.  
"I'm sorry girl, you know I'm super jealous. Why don't you just call me next time?" She says smiling at me.  
I nod my head feeling conflicted about what just happened.

Eric pov

I haven't heard from y/n since I left her house new years day. It's now Sunday evening and I'm locked in my room working on some of my pipe bombs to keep my mind on track. I know she goes to the doctor tomorrow and I should probably call her but I don't want to fall back into it all before I know.  
I hear someone coming down the stairs and start to panic, shoving everything under my bed. They knock on my door right as I get everything out of sight. With my heart racing and a shaky voice I yell out  
"Who is it?"  
"Dylan" I hear from the other side of the door.  
"Jesus Christ dude you about gave me a heart attack!" I say opening the door for him.  
"Whats up?" I ask going to sit in my desk chair.  
He walks over and sits on my bed before he says anything.  
"I know you don't want to hear this. But I won't be able to live with myself if I don't say it one more time." He says looking at me as I start to shake my head.  
"Just listen Reb. It's not too late to end this. Think of what you are leaving behind? Even if y/n isn't having your baby that girl loves you so fucking much dude. So much that she's having nightmares about what you are going to do." As he says that I stand up out of my arm putting my hands on my hips.  
"What? Who told you that? Because I know it wasn't Robyn. At least it better not have been. Too many people already know!" I say as I start to pace back and forth in my room.  
"She told me herself man" he says looking nervous.  
"When did she tell you that?" I ask waiting on his response.  
"We talked for a while on the phone the other day. She needed someone to talk to that knew it all and I'm that person." He said almost like he was challenging me.  
"Don't fucking go there V! I swear to fucking God!" I say walking towards him as he stands up.  
"Calm down dude. I promise it's nothing like that. I would never do that to Robyn. Or you considering everything." He says not backing down from me.  
"My head is all fucked up V." I say stepping back away from him.  
"It doesn't have to be. The happiness we have both always wanted is right here. All you have to do is accept it and drop the other shit. We graduate in 5 months and that school and all those people in it will be in past. It's that easy to just let it go Reb." He says sitting back down.  
"It was for you at least. But I'm not going to bitch out like you did." I say getting angrier by the second.  
"And I swear to God the next one of you two that says another fucking word about me not doing it will be the first one I aim for!" I blurt out seeing red.  
"Wow dude. That was a real fucked up thing to say." He says with his jaw hanging open.  
I know it was and I didn't mean any of it. I can't control what comes out of my mouth when I get this angry. He knows that to but he is still looking at me with that shocked look.  
Without another word he stands and walks out the door. Good riddance, I think to myself as I walk over and slam the door shut.

Y/n pov

I woke up Monday morning full of dread. I almost don't want to know.  
Both options equally suck but would also not be terrible to. I can't even explain it to myself so instead I get up and get dressed and walk upstairs.  
"Good morning. Eat something while I get the baby ready and we will head out." Marie says.  
I grab a granola bar not being able to stomach anything else. My nerves are in over drive.  
When we get to the doctor we are left sitting in the waiting room for forever which gives me even more time to be nervous.  
When they finally call my name I go back by myself. the nurse hands me a cup and I take it into the bathroom and once I'm done I'm sent to the lab for blood work.  
I'm left in the room waiting for the doctor alone for longer than I would have liked.  
When he finally opens the door and comes in he shows me the pregnancy test that they did with my urine and it comes back negative. I don't know how I'm feeling about it at the moment so I just nod my head.  
"It could still be too early to tell with one of these but your blood test will be back sometime this afternoon. We will call you with the results." He says before he leaves the room.  
I walk back out into the waiting room and find Marie and we get in the car to leave.  
I tell her about the test and that the other will be back later as we drive home.  
She reaches over and squeezes my arm gently in support. I lay my head back in the seat and close my eyes the rest of the way home.  
When we pull up at the house I see Robyn and Dylan on her porch. Not really wanting to talk I just wave at them but of course that's not enough for Robyn.  
"Well?? What did they say?" She asks  
I fill her in on what the doctor told me before I go inside and down to my room. I feel the sleep wash over me and I can't fight it off.  
I'm woken up my Marie standing beside my bed with the phone in her hand pushing it towards me.  
I take the phone and say hello and listen as the doctor breaks the news.  
I thank him and hang up the phone falling back on my bed not knowing whether to laugh or cry. But at least now I know.

Eric pov

Why has she not called? Her doctors appointment was this morning and I know she's back by now. Its almost dinner time. I have the phone in my lap as I pick at my hands while sitting on my bed.  
When it rings it scares the shit out of me.  
"Hello??" I say hurriedly into the phone.  
"Heyy it's Robyn. Just wondering if you have heard from y/n yet?" She asks casually.  
"No! Why have you?" I ask back impatiently.  
"No I haven't. And when I called her sister said she didn't want to talk right now. So that could mean it's bad Eric." She says making me more nervous.  
"Yeah thanks for that" I say before I hang up the phone.  
I'm going over there. I have to see her. I have to know.  
I grab my shoes and throw them on and head up the stairs with my keys in my hand heading straight for the door.  
"Eric its almost dinner time. Where are you going?" My mom says from the kitchen.  
"Uh.. I will be back. Y/n isn't feeling good and I need to go check on her" I say as I walk out the door and get into my car backing out of the driveway like a mad man.  
I pull up in front of her house and walk to the front door banging on it a little too hard.  
"Eric if you wake the baby up before I get to eat I swear I'm going to hurt you this time!" Marie says as she moves to the side to let me in.  
I never stop walking heading straight down the stairs to her room.  
The door is closed and I try to restrain myself as I knock this time.  
"Yeah?" I hear her say through the door.  
I take that as a invitation to come in and open the door to see her laying in the bed with a tear stained face.  
"Oh fuck" I say as I stop in my tracks looking at her.  
"I'm not pregnant Eric" she says as she buries her face into her pillow.  
"You aren't?! But that's good right?" I say going to sit beside her feeling happy about the news.  
"I guess so." Is all she says without pulling her face away from the pillow.  
"Then why do you look like that?" I ask grabbing the pillow and pulling it away.  
"You don't want to hear anything I have to say right now. Why don't you just go." She says covering her face with her hands.  
"Hey, talk to me" I say moving to her other side and laying down beside her.  
"It's so stupid if I say it out loud." She says with her back to me.  
"I wanna hear it either way" I say trying my best to comfort her.  
"I thought I would he happy. But it turns out I'm really not. I had the thought that maybe if I was pregnant you would change your mind and not leave us. Or even if you didn't change your mind I would at least have part of you here with me" she says as she starts to sob again.  
"I don't really know what to say to that y/n" I say rolling onto my back.  
She doesn't say another word only cries into her sheets. I don't know what other help I can be here and I have my answer. It's time for me to go. I have to make myself get off this bed and walk away from her forever.  
Without another thought I stand and look at her laying there one last time. I go out the basement door so I won't have to face Marie. Such a coward.  
I get to my car and crank it up pulling away from her house for the last time. This is it. No more distractions.  
When I walk in the house I start to head down the stairs when my mom calls out to me  
"Eric come eat!"  
I'm not hungry. But I need you to do me a favor and please don't ask ant questions.  
"Okay?" She says looking confused.  
"If y/n calls ever again, tell her I'm not home. Please don't ever bring me the phone." I say trying to hide my emotions as I continue down the stairs to my room.  
I sit down at my computer and sign on finding her name on my list and without another thought I block her. It had to be done.

Y/n pov

He just walked out and left me here to cry. I should have known. He told me what he would do. I just hoped he would have enough compassion in him to at least stay with me a little longer. I couldn't bring myself to move out of my bed. I laid there going back and forth between thinking about him and crying until I made myself sick. How am I supposed to let him go when I love him so much that it hurts?  
I eventually fall asleep only to wake myself up crying again. I feel like I'm going to die from a broken heart.  
Marie has knocked on my locked door every few hours to either try to get me to eat or to tell me that Robyn's on the phone but I just can't deal either of those things right now.  
I laid awake all night long Monday night and slept almost all day Tuesday.  
I woke up to the sound of someone knocking on my door again and I yelled out  
"Marie please just leave me alone!"  
"Girl its me." I hear Robyn say.  
"Please unlock the door and let me in" she pleads with me.  
I pull myself up long enough to unlock it and I got right back in my bed.  
"Jesus y/n you are a mess..." She says as she walks over to my bed and sits on the edge beside me.  
"I know that you are hurting, but you can't stay in bed forever. School starts back tomorrow you know." She says looking at me.  
"Don't remind me" I reply emotionless.  
"Do you want to ride with me and Dylan?" She asks as she rubs my arm.  
"I don't care" is all I can say. And I really don't.  
"We will wait on you then" she says as she bends down and hugs me before she leaves.  
I can't stand the thought of having to see him tomorrow. It makes me sick to my stomach. I know I will want to go to him but he isn't going to let me.  
The next morning I wake up to my alarm clock and take a quick shower just long enough to wash the last 2 days away. I look at myself in the mirror and it's obvious that I have been crying for way too long and I haven't eaten. Right in cue my stomach growls loudly but the thought of food make me nauseous.  
I grab my backpack and walk out the basement door around to the front of Robyn's house and see them waiting for me beside her car.  
"Heyyy girl!" Robyn says cheerfully as Dylan looks at me with sympathy in his eyes.  
Without speaking I get in to the back seat and we head to the school.  
When we pull into the parking lot I catch myself looking for his car. Before I can stop myself I see it with him getting out.  
"Park over there" Dylan says pointing across the parking lot from where I saw him.  
He looks over his shoulder at me with a small smile as we pull into the parking space.  
Once inside I go straight to my locker collecting all of the stuff I need for the day that way I won't have to come back to it. I don't want to risk running into him in the hall and losing my shit in front of everyone.  
I go straight to my first class instead of hanging out in the cafeteria with everyone else. I just don't have it in me.  
I pick a seat at the very back hoping those will fill up quickly before he can get to class.  
I was right and right before the bell rings he comes walking in and takes one of the empty seats towards the front without even looking my way.  
The whole day went by in that same manner. Us avoiding each other and never coming in contact.  
I went to my locker before going to find Robyn and Dylan after my last class and I heard a commotion across the hall. Turning around I could see a group of guys surrounding someone and picking on them ruthlessly, slamming him into the lockers and making fun of him.  
"What's the matter freak? Did your girlfriend finally figure out that you swing the other way and dump you?" I hear one Of them say while laughing.  
That's when I caught a glimpse of who was on the receiving end of the torment. It was Eric.  
We locked eyes for a split second before I quickly shut my locker and headed out the door.  
I could have said something but this is what he wanted. I could have stuck up for him and tried to make this stop but, this is what he wanted, I repeat over and over in my head as I get to Robyn's car. Leaning against it waiting on them to come out.  
That's when I see the doors swing open and Eric stomp out towards the parking lot bleeding from the corner of his eye and his mouth.  
My instincts took over as I threw my backpack on the ground and headed towards him.  
When he saw me coming he put his hand up not looking at me  
"Stop! Don't do it y/n. I'm okay. Leave me alone!" He says as he starts walking again towards his car.  
"Eric you're bleeding!" I yell out trying to hold back tears.  
He stops and turns and looks at me before coming my way with his fists clinched at his sides.  
"Just like every other fucking day y/n! It's nothing new to me! You know that though. This is why I have to do it!" He screams in my face causing me to take a step back shaking, but he kept coming at me backing me into Robyn's car.  
"I need you to hear me really fucking good right now! Stay the fuck away from me! I don't want anything to do with you anymore. I never loved you. It was all just another game for me!" He yells into me face before I slide down the car and hit the ground in agony. His words cutting through me like a rusty knife.  
I don't even look up when I hear Dylan screaming at Eric before he even makes it to the parking lot.  
"Get out of her fucking face Eric!" He says as he shoves him so hard it pushes him back a few feet.  
Before Eric can respond Dylan is back on him, towering over him in the most intimidating stance I have ever seen.  
"If you mess with her again I swear to God I will rip your fucking head off! You've done enough damage to her! Look at her dude, she's fucking sick over this shit!" He yells into Eric's face as Robyn makes it to me sitting down on her knees in front of me and pulling me into her.  
Eric doesn't even respond. He just turns and walks to his car.  
"Let's go!" Dylan says still in his angry voice.  
All the way home he ranted about the way that Eric was acting and kept apologizing to me for him. I couldn't say a word. I had never hurt so bad in my life. Did he mean all of the things he said? It really seemed like it.


	30. O is for Oooooops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies in advance to all the Dylan+Robyn fans. It just kind of happened.. 😬

Eric pov

I pulled into my driveway with no recollection of even driving home. Blinded by my rage. I go in and straight to my room locking my door and pulling out all of my supplies from all the different hiding places around my room.   
I double check to make sure I have all of the ammo I could possibly need and count my pipe bombs realizing I should probably make a few more. If I keep the rage going then I won't have to feel anything else. I can't even let myself feel the guilt I have, or recall the look on her face when I said what I did. I know it couldn't have been further from the truth but that look on her face let me know that she believed me. That's what needed to happen. 

Y/n pov

I get out of Robyn's car without a word to either of them and head straight in my house. I just need to be alone with these feelings. It really is over this time, I know it is. He wouldn't have said all of those things to me if he thought there was even a chance of fixing this between us. 

Dylan pov

After we got to Robyn's house I said my goodbyes and got in my own car I had left parked there this morning. I'm still so mad at Reb that I can't see straight and I want to go to his house and beat some sense into him but I know it's a lost cause. He has gone completely over the edge. No point of return. I make the long drive home still pissed off as I pull into my driveway. I walk in quietly closing the door not wanting to have a conversation with anyone right now. Once I get to my room I lay down on my bed trying to sort it all out.   
It could have been me. I could be there with him right now listening to him talk about what happened with those jocks and making adjustments to our plans. The thought sends chills all over my body.  
My mind immediately goes to y/n and the look on her face when he was screaming at her. It hurt me to watch so I can only imagine what it made her feel.  
Without another thought I reach over and grab the phone from beside my bed and quickly dial her number.  
"Hello" I hear her sister say into the phone.  
"Hey can I talk to y/n please? It's Dylan." I add at the end so that maybe she will come to the phone.  
A few minutes go by before she finally answers.  
"Hey Dylan" she says not sounding at all like herself.  
"I just wanted to check on you." I say not really knowing any other reason that I would have called.  
"I'm alive. Unfortunately" she says quietly.  
"No don't say some stupid shit like that!" I say as soon as the words leave her lips. The sound of her saying it brings me back to how I felt just a few months ago.  
"You want me to come by and keep you company?" I say feeling like she shouldn't be left alone right now.  
"Uh that's probably not a good idea Dylan. Robyn would be pissed" she says sounding nervous.  
"I honestly don't care about that right now. Her jealousy is getting pretty old." I say back not able to stop the words.  
"She has been super weird with me too since she found out we talked on the phone last time" she replies.  
"So let me come get you and we will go to the park or something. I know you could use the distraction and I really don't want to leave you alone like this" I blurt out knowing it's probably a horrible idea.  
"Okay.." she says quietly.  
" I'll be there soon" I say before hanging up the phone and bounding back down the stairs and to my car.

Y/n pov

I decide it's best if I go sit on the front steps and wait for Dylan. Being sneaky let's me know that I shouldn't be going with him but I really could use the mental support he can offer me. I don't want to hurt Robyn at all but she has been so weird to me anyways lately. Dylan seems to be the closest friend I have right now and I really need a friend.  
I see his black car coming so I get up walking towards the road hoping to get in without being seen.  
Once inside I look over to see him smiling at me with a big cheesy grin as he quickly starts back down the road.  
The short trip to the park is made in silence and once he finds a place to park we get out and walk side by side over to a bench to sit down.   
The park is mostly empty other than a few joggers and people walking their dogs.  
"Hey why don't I go and get us a burger or something from the stand over there? You need to eat" he says breaking our silence for the first time.  
I nod my head in agreement as he gets up and jogs over to the stand coming back with food and drinks in hand.  
I pick at my burger still not having the stomach for food as he eats his within seconds.  
Finally I decide to start the conversation.  
"Did you hear what he said to me?" I ask looking at the ground.  
"I heard him. He is acting like a total piece of shit and I'm sorry. You don't deserve that." He says turning his head my way.  
"Maybe I do. Maybe this is the universes way of punishing me for whatever I could have possibly done in the past. I hate this life Dylan." I say looking over at him.  
"I know how you feel. It wasn't that long ago when I felt that same way. But things will get better. I mean, I guess they are going to get a whole lot worse before that but still. There's hope I promise." He says wrapping his arm around my shoulders for comfort.  
I let myself fall into him and just be held for a minute. 

Dylan pov

I know I'm stepping way over boundaries here but I had to do something to comfort her. I wasn't expecting her to lean in like this and the feeling I get in my chest isn't something I can ignore. Fuck what did I get myself into here...  
I slowly break the contact by pulling my arm away awkwardly.  
"Uhh sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have done that." I say moving a little further away from her.  
"Done what? Been there for your friend? We aren't doing anything wrong Dylan." She says looking like she's trying to convince herself of it to.  
"Yeah" I respond.  
"You know what I could use right now?" She says pulling me out of my thoughts.  
"What's that?" I ask in response.  
"One of your deadly vodka drinks. A good fucking drunk." She says slowly smiling.  
I know it's a horrible idea but my mouth forms the words before I have time to think.  
"Where would we be doing this good drunk? My parents are gonna be home and I can't exactly park at your place unless you are planning on inviting Robyn which could get weird explaining how we decided on this in the first place!" I say laughing.  
"I honestly don't even care. We can go in the woods and build a fire and dance around it drunkenly summoning demons for all I care!" She says laughing with me.  
"Hey that's not a bad idea! Well, other than the whole demons part." I reply shaking my head and thinking to myself how that sounded just like something Reb would have said. Minus the dancing of course.  
"And the fact that we have school tomorrow.." I add.  
"Yeah I'm thinking I'm not going tomorrow anyways. Maybe Friday to. I need a break from him." She says looking down at the ground.  
"Well then screw it we will skip tomorrow and get wasted tonight! I'll tell my parents I'm staying at Nate's house. They won't question it!" I say.  
"Where can we go?" She asks smiling over at me.  
"I know the perfect place. We gotta go to my house for supplies though if you are cool with that." I say standing up and motioning for her to follow me.  
This is not a good idea at all. I know it and I'm pretty sure she knows it to. But really it's just two friends getting drunk in the woods together right?

Y/n pov

On the way back to Dylan's house I start to loosen up and feel more like myself. I reach down and turn the radio up and hear one of those God awful pop songs playing but instead of changing the station I turn it up louder playfully singing and dancing along.  
"I changed my mind. I'm taking you home!" He says shaking his head and laughing at me.  
"Nope! You are stuck with me for the night!" I say turning the radio back down.  
"Hey thanks for this Dylan. I'm sorry that you keep getting dragged into all my khaos." I continue as I turn my head to look out the window.  
" That's what friends are for y/n" he says as we start into his driveway.  
Once inside he leads me up to his room and tells me to hang out there while he grabs some blankets and his stash of vodka to sneak into his car.  
I lay back in his bed trying to let go of everything that has been consuming me the last few months. I want to use this night to completely clear my head and have a fresh start. I'm so lucky to have a friend like him.. I think to myself.

Dylan pov

I quietly grab everything I need from around the house and take it out to my car without my dad hearing me. Mom isn't home from work yet. If she was I would have never gotten away with this.  
I go back upstairs to get y/n and when I turn the corner into my room I see her laid out on my bed.  
I feel my pulse quicken at the sight of it and have to turn my head away for a second to regain my composure.  
What the fuck is wrong with me... I think to myself.   
She hears me enter the room and sits up looking at me.  
"You okay?" She asks looking concerned.  
"Uh yeah. I'm good." I say forming a smile to reassure her and to not give myself away.  
"Why don't you go wait for me in the car and I'll go talk to my dad real quick.." I finish.  
We walk quietly down the stairs together with her going out the front door and me into my dad's office to let him know I was staying with Nate. It went off flawless, I think to myself as I head out the door to join y/n in my car.

Y/n pov

The sun was starting to go down as we drove along the curvy roads of Littleton.  
It was already freezing outside and I was starting to worry about how we would stay warm outside all night.  
"Dylan we are going to freeze to death just for the sake of getting me drunk!" I say laughing.  
"Nah I'll start a fire and once you get some liquid fire in your system you won't be cold." He says without looking my way.  
We shouldn't be doing this. If Robyn finds out she will never speak to me again, or him for that matter. But I remind myself once again that we aren't doing anything wrong. Just two friends hanging out.  
When he turns down a dirt road I immediately recognize where he is taking me and I sit straight up in my seat as the air leaves me lungs.  
"What's wrong?" He asks stopping the car abruptly.  
"This is our spot. Mine and Eric's.." I say choking out the words.  
"He brought you here? I've been coming here to camp since I was a kid.." he says questioningly.  
"I don't really know of anywhere else to go though.." he adds.  
"It's fine. We can stay here." I respond.  
Flashbacks of Eric and I swimming in my brain. Us sitting on the blanket under the stars, him touching me so intimately for the very first time, the day we left the mall and almost had sex for the first time in his car.   
I shake my head trying to break the memories apart and take a deep breath.  
"You sure y/n?" Dylan asks me starting to slowly move the car again.  
I nod my head in response as he continues forward.  
Once he parked the car we both got out and went to the trunk to pull out everything he had gathered.  
I reach in and come in contact with a small jar of pickles and die out laughing.  
"I'm never going to live that down am I? Good looking out though!" I say shaking my head at him.  
"I thought you might like that" he says laughing with me.  
He goes to work building a fire as I unfold the blankets and make a big pallet with them on the ground.  
When he finally gets the fire going he goes after the bottle of vodka on the ground.   
"I'm just realizing that I didn't grab any cups.. I hope you are cool with drinking from the bottle. I at least remembered the orange juice so we can just chase it." He says sitting down next to me on the pallet.  
Without verbally responding I grab the vodka bottle and open it quickly tilting it back and taking a big chug.  
"Well shit. Okay then!" He says taking it out of my hand and doing the same.  
We passed the bottle back and forth as Dylan told me stories about his childhood and I told him things about back home.  
Before long I can feel the liquid fire burning inside of me. It doesn't take much considering I haven't eaten a meal in days.  
"Dylan?" I say interrupting his story.  
"Yeah?" He says turning to look at me.  
"I'm fucking drunk." I say smiling like a idiot.  
"That was the goal wasn't it. I'm feeling it to. But I'm not dancing around that fire" he says point at it and laughing.  
"Oh come on and dance with me!" I say standing up on wobbly legs before falling back down and landing on top of him laughing like a idiot.  
"Damn y/n! Sit your ass back down!" He says pushing me off of him back into my spot laughing the whole time.  
"That's no fun" I say trying to pout at him but it's impossible while laughing.  
I turn towards him and see a different look on his face than before. One I have never seen before. I stop laughing looking at him with squinted eyebrows.  
"Hey what's wrong?" I say turning my body to face him.  
Without saying anything he reaches up and puts his hand on my cheek. My heart starts to race as I realize what's happening but before I can stop him he brings his face close to mine and places a gentle kiss on my lips.  
I pull back looking at him in shock at what he just did.   
"Oh shit y/n I'm sorry! I shouldn't have done that.." he says going to sit back again but before he can I grab his shirt and pull him back into me crashing my lips back into his.  
He tries to pull away but eventually gives in putting his hand on the back of my head holding me into him. I test the waters by darting my tongue out and parting his lips. He doesn't fight me and willingly parts them as our tongues meet for the first time.  
As the kiss deepens I start to lay back on the blankets pulling him down with me. He breaks the kiss looking down at me  
"We should stop before this goes to far" he says breathlessly.  
"We should" I say looking up at him before reaching up and grabbing him by the neck pulling him back down to my lips.  
We continued the make out session beside the crackling fire for what seems like hours before he tries to change it up by bringing his hand to the bottom of my hoodie and pulling it up so that he can come into contact with my skin. That's when I snap out of it pushing him off of me panting for air.  
He sits back on his knees looking at me wildly as I push myself up into a sitting position.  
"Did I do something wrong?" He asks reaching out for my hand.  
I pull away before he can make contact, standing up and pacing in front of the fire.  
"We both did. We fucked up Dylan!" I yell at him fighting for the air to return to my lungs.  
"We did not fuck up y/n" he says coming and standing in front of me stopping my trail.  
"We really did. I just ruined my friendship with Robyn. And my friendship with you. There's no coming back from what just happened!" I yell back at him.  
"What if I don't want to come back from it?" He says glaring down at me and trying to pull me to him.  
"Dylan you are drunk!" I say pulling away.  
"That may be true. But you can't stand there and say that didn't feel right. There's no way you didn't feel what I did!" He says grabbing my arm and pulling me back in.  
I put my hands on his chest trying to get distance between us but he refuses to let go by of me.  
"I love Eric. I will always love him Dylan." I say trying to get him to back off.  
He drops his arms to his side releasing his hold on me looking defeated.  
"Even after everything he has done to you? After what you know he is planning? You can still look me in my face and tell me that you love him?" He says with force behind his words.  
"I can't help it. It isn't going to just go away!" I say back to him as I walk back to the blankets and sit down.  
"You didn't ruin our friendship y/n." He says coming to sit beside me.  
"We can't exactly just go back to how things were now" I say looking down at me hands.  
"I agree with that. I will always be here for you like I've told you before. Robyn is probably out of the picture for both us now I imagine and I'm okay with that honestly." He says running his hand through his hair.  
"I can't be more than just your friend right now Dylan. I'm sorry I let that go as far as it did. But you know everything I have going on. I can't get myself into anything else right now." I say turning to look at him.  
"I would never hurt you like he does" is his response.  
"We can't continue this friendship if you won't let this go." I say reaching over and putting my hand on top of his.  
"And I don't want to lose you Dylan" I say trying not to cry.  
He pulls me into a hug before letting me go and standing up.  
"Let me take you home. I'm sober enough to drive. I feel like at this point we should probably go our separate ways for the night." He says reaching down for my hand to pull me up to.  
I know he is right but the way he said it cut me deep.  
After loading his car back up we started the journey back to my house.  
It was after midnight when we turned onto my street.  
When he stopped in front of my house I hesitated before getting out of the car.  
"Please don't be mad at me Dylan. I meant it when I said I don't want to lose you." I say without looking over at him.  
He doesn't respond so I get out of the car and walk to the basement door.  
Going in I sit down on the couch replaying everything that happened tonight.  
I feel my heart start to race as my thoughts go to the second our tongues met for the first time.  
I would be lying to myself if I said it didn't feel right. Although I know the alcohol and my recent heart ache probably has a lot to do with it.  
But would it really be so bad? Robyn is already going to hate me forever. There's no going back there. But if Eric is really going to leave me then I will have no choice but to move on anyways and me and Dylan are super close..  
I shake my head erasing the thoughts before I can dive into them any other. I go to my room laying down on my bed without taking my clothes off and fall into a deep sleep.

Dylan pov

Now at home laying in my bed I can't stop thinking about her.  
I never in a million years imagined that I would catch feelings for her like this but there's no denying it now. And some part of her has to feel the same. Sure, it would have never happened if it hadn't been for the vodka but I can't put all of the blame on that. I will continue being her friend and being there for her until she can admit to herself that she has feelings for me to.   
Now I have to figure out how to deal with Robyn. She is going to go mental.


	31. It all crashes down

Robyn pov

I was in the kitchen getting a snack trying to take my mind off of the fact that Dylan hasn't answered my calls all day when I heard the car door. It had to have came from next door.  
I walked over to the window not being able to make out much except for the tail lights headed down the road.  
Probably Eric making another booty call I imagine. She will never learn  
I shrug my shoulders thinking to myself that it's none of my business.  
I'm over the whole thing anyways. One minute they are good and the next they aren't. And I can't fucking stand how close her and Dylan have gotten. They both say they are just friends but so were me and him before we started dating. I have to talk to him tomorrow at school and tell him that I don't like it anymore and I want it to stop or I'm done.   
The next morning I get up and getting ready for school and head outside to wait for Dylan. We always ride together and he is always on time. After 20 minutes go by with him nowhere in sight I get in my car and drive by myself.  
What the hell is going on here? I think to myself as I pull into the school and see Dylan's car already in the parking lot.  
I walk into the school looking around as I go trying to find him with no luck.   
Once lunch hits I finally spot him at a table with all the other guys.  
"What the fuck Dyl?" I say walking up behind him.  
"Robyn I can't right now. I haven't slept at all and I just want to get through this day. Please" he says without turning to look at me.  
Everyone at the table starts to look around at each other confusion on their faces.  
"Fine! Has anyone seen y/n?" I ask with my hands on my hips.  
Everyone shakes their heads or says no to the question. Even Eric.  
"I don't think she's here today" Dylan says still not facing me.  
"You were with her last night Eric. Was she okay?" I ask aiming the question his way.  
"What? No the hell I wasn't." He says looking at me confused.  
"Really? That's weird.." I say out loud.  
"Dylan can we please talk later?" I ask putting my hand on his shoulder and feeling him tense up at the contact.  
"Yeah, sure" he responds.  
I walk away and go ahead to my next class. I can't stop thinking about the car lights I saw. Eric had to be lying.

Eric pov

Why the hell would Robyn think I was with y/n last night? I haven't spoken a word to her since that day in the parking lot. It's getting harder by the day to separate myself from her if I'm being honest with myself.  
But I have to push forward. I'm so close I can taste it.  
"Rough night?" Nate says slapping V on the back and laughing.  
"I don't even want to talk about it man" he says looking up and making eye contact with me.  
What the fuck was that about?   
"V we need to talk." I say immediately.  
"Jesus Christ why does everybody need my damn attention today?!" He yells out before standing up and leaving the table.  
I quickly stand up following him out the double doors of the cafeteria.  
"V what the hell is going on with you?" I yell after him causing him to stop in his tracks.  
"Reb I don't have it in me to do this with you right now. I can only handle one thing at a time and I'm getting real close to losing my fucking cool with everybody!" He says turning to look at me.  
"What the hell did I do to you?" I yell back at him.  
He storms my way putting his finger in my face catching me off guard and making me take a step back.  
"You don't get to play the fucking victim anymore Reb! You completely fucked y/n whole life up and you almost fucked mine up to. If I hadn't came to my senses I would be just like you right now! Thanking fucking God I'm not!" He yells into my face.  
"What the hell does y/n have to do with any of this?" I yell back I shove his finger out of my face.  
He puts his hands in his pockets and stands there looking at me without a word.  
"Oh. I see what's going on here." I say as I feel the blood drain out of my face causing my head to start to spin.  
"Drop it Reb. You don't know shit!" He yells back at me turning to walk away.  
"You know I will never let this happen right? All it would take is one phone call and she would be right back in my arms!" I yell after him with a laugh making him stop again.  
He is in my face again before I can react.  
"You little mother fucker I swear to God. If you keep messing with her head like that I will end you myself!" He spits in my face.  
"Is that a dare V?" I say smirking up at him before I turn and walk away.  
He has no idea what he just started. This is fucking war.

Dylan pov

"Fuck!" I yell out slamming my fists onto my steering wheel. That demented little fucker. I should have stayed home today. None of this would even be happening if I had just stayed fucking home.  
I pull my keys out of my pocket as I look over at the window and see Robyn standing there looking pissed.  
I start the car and roll the window down  
"Robyn I swear we will talk later. And I'm sorry about all of this. But right now I have to go!" I say as I see Eric walking our way with a smirk on his face. Also headed to his car.   
I back out of the parking lot hoping like hell I can get home and call her before he can. I have to warn her before he pulls her back in.  
I fly through traffic getting to my house as fast as possible which is still a 20 minute drive. His closer than mine. I'm fighting a losing battle.

Y/n pov

After everyone left the house for the day I finally came out of my room. Marie would be pissed if she knew I wasn't at school but I just couldn't face Eric. Not after last night especially. I dug through the cabinets looking for anything I might could force into my mouth to make my stomache stop growling and decide on making a sandwich. It was lunch time after all.  
I take my food and head back down to the basement putting a movie in and sitting down on the couch. Before I can take the first bite I hear banging on the door.  
"Who the hell could that be?" I say out loud as I put my sandwhich on the coffee table and go to the door.  
I looks through the blinds and see Eric standing there impatiently.  
"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" I say a little too loudly.  
"Y/n open the door!" He yells back.  
I unlock and open the door against my better judgement but I'm dying to know why he is here.  
"What the hell Eric?" I say as he pushed past me and into my basement.  
He walks around looking in my bedroom and bathroom before coming back to stand in front of me.  
"Are you alone?" He asks glaring at me.  
"Of course I'm alone. What are you doing here?!" I ask going to sit back down on the couch.  
He stands in the same spot for a few seconds before his demeanor changes and a smile forms in his mouth.  
"I just wanted to see you" he says coming to sit beside me.  
"Since when?" I say looking at him in shock.  
"Since you weren't at school today and I didn't have to spend all my time figuring out how to avoid you. It made me miss you." He says leaning into me.  
"Because that makes so much sense." I say not letting my eyes leave his.  
"I already know I'm crazy y/n. You don't have to keep reminding me" he says with a raised eyebrow.  
"What are we watching?" He says making himself comfortable on my couch.  
I stare at him with my mouth open feeling like I've traveled to the twilight zone.  
"We aren't watching anything. You don't get to just walk in my house and act like it's perfectly normal for you to be here after you said all those things to me Eric!" I say sitting up on the edge of the couch.  
"Come on baby.. you know I didn't really mean any of that. I just want to spend some time with you." He says pulling me back down with his arm around my shoulders.  
Before I can react I hear the phone ringing upstairs.  
"Ignore it" he says looking nervous.  
"I was planning on it considering no one knows I'm home." I say pushing him off of me.  
"Why are you really here Eric?" I say feeling like he definitely has a alterior motive for this random visit.  
"Like I said before. I wanted to see you. I miss you y/n" he says reaching up and tucking my hair behind my ear.  
I have to stop letting him do this to me. I know I do. But he is like a magnet. Anytime I'm near him I need to be as close to him as I can get.   
"Don't you miss me to?" He asks with dark eyes.  
"You know I do Eric. But these mind games are killing me. I can't keep letting you pull me back in only to rip my heart out over and over. I'm falling apart" I say letting my head fall onto the back of the couch.  
He leans into me nuzzling my neck with his nose before making a trail of kisses up to my ear  
"You know I hate hurting you baby. But it's who I am. It's what I have to do. Do you want me to leave?" He whispers into my ear.  
I don't even hear the words he says. I only feel the reaction my body has to him being so close.  
My mouth falls open as I move my head giving him better access to my neck.  
"I didn't think so" he says with a smile as he continues his assault on my neck and also my heart.  
He pulls away and grabs the side of my face turning me to face him.  
"You can tell me to stop" he says forcing me to look into his eyes.  
"Stop" I whisper out knowing what will happen if we don't.  
A smirk slowly appears on his face as he looks down at my lips licking his own  
"Nah" he says as he kisses me forcefully parting my lips with his tongue.  
I give in not having any fight left in me and right as I start to get into it I feel his hand go up grabbing me by my hair as he breaks the kiss pulling my head to the side.  
"What the fuck Eric let me go!" I yell terrified of how he is acting.  
"First, Tell me y/n, if this how Dylan kisses you?" He says with dark eyes still holding onto my hair.  
I can't form words because I'm so consumed with fear. How did he know? Surely Dylan didn't tell him? My thoughts race as he slowly loosens his grip on my hair eventually let it go all together.  
He quickly stands up and slams his hands down on either side of my head hovering over me.  
"He will never be able to make you feel how I do. And I hope you think about me every single time you are with him." He spits out into my face before he starts to pull away.  
I grab onto his shirt before he can pleading with him.  
"Eric its not like that at all! I stopped it before it could go too far! He knows that I love you. And trust me you are all I ever think about! It doesn't matter what I'm doing!" I say starting to cry as I let go of his shirt.  
He reaches out and puts his hand on my cheek glaring down at me.  
"And I intend on keeping it that way." He says before bending and placing a kiss on my forehead and walking out the door.

Robyn pov

I pulled up in my driveway to see Eric's car parking in front of y/n's house. I swear these two are a fucking mess, I think to myself as I walk to my porch.  
Before I make it inside I see Eric walking around the side of her house towards his car. He looks up and sees me and turns heading to way instead.  
"You might want to tell your boyfriend to keep his fucking hands off of her before I fucking kill him!" He yells out as he gets closer to me.  
I can feel myself start to shake at his words.  
"What are you talking about Eric?" I ask.  
"Why don't you call him up and ask him? I'd love to know what he says!" He says back coming up on my porch.  
Eric follows me in my house as I go straight to the phone dialing Dylan's number.  
After he answers I start screaming into the phone   
"Want to explain to me why Eric is at my house saying you need to keep your hands off of y/n?"  
"Not really" is all he says.  
"Dylan I swear to God you need to start talking right now!" I yell back.  
"Robyn let's just get this shit over with okay? I don't want to be with you anymore. The shit just isn't working out." He yells back.  
"So you go and cheat on me with my friend?" I say letting the angry tears start to fall.  
He hangs up the phone before I can say anything else.  
I stand in shock for a minute before my adrenaline kicks in and I storm back out the door headed straight to her house with Eric on my heels.  
"You know I can't let you do this Robyn." He says catching up to me grabbing my wrist.  
"Back off Eric! This is between me and y/n!" I yell in his face jerking my arm away and running to her door beating on it with all my strength.  
I see her look through the blinds and see me before I hear the door lock.  
"Open the fucking door y/n! We need to talk right now!" I yell through the door.  
"I'm so sorry Robyn. I didn't mean to hurt you like this. I swear if I could take it back I would in a heartbeat!" She says sounding like she's crying.  
"Open the god damn door!" I yell jerking on the door knob.  
"Robyn stop!" Eric says coming up behind me.

Y/n pov

This day just keeps getting better, I think to myself as I listen to the two of them fighting outside my door.  
"I won't fucking touch her! I just want to hear it from her mouth! I have to know what happened!" I hear Robyn yell out through tears.  
I quickly unlock the door and swing it open as both of them stop to look at me.  
"Just come in and let's get this over with" I say moving to the side to let them pass.  
Eric comes and sits on the couch near me as Robyn stands with her arms folded waiting for me to speak.  
"Neither of us planned this. I promise. We drank together and after a little too much alcohol we kissed. That's it. I regretted it immediately." I say not looking at either of them as they listen.  
"And that's it? Just one kiss?" Robyn says wiping her face with the back of her hand.  
I want to say that was it but what if Dylan says more.. I decide to tell them the rest.  
"No not really." I say waiting on the blow.  
Eric sat in silence picking at his hands as Robyn started to pace in front of us.  
"What do you mean not really? What all happened?" She says stopping in front of me again.  
"We made out for a while. But I swear that's it. Nobody touched anything. We just kissed. I stopped it when it seemed like it would go any further." I say feeling embarrassed by my actions.  
"Who kissed who first?" Robyn asks glaring at me.  
"Robyn can we just leave it alone. I've told you everything." I say feeling desperate.  
"Tell me and I will drop it." She says folding her arms back over her chest.  
"Dylan kissed me." I say looking up at her.  
She reaches up putting her hand over her mouth frozen.  
I turn to Eric now that Robyn has heard what she needs to hear.  
"I stopped it and told him that I'm still very much in love with you and that I probably always will be." I say looking his way.  
"That's supposed to make me feel better about it" he says still picking at his hands.  
"What else do you want from me Eric? You did everything you could to push me away! You went as far as to say you never really loved me!" I yell at him.  
"I'm not staying here to listen to this shit anymore!" Robyn says as she leaves out the door.  
I stand up and walk to my room grabbing the locket off of my dresser and stomp back into the room throwing it into his lap.  
"Your whole heart Eric? Do you even have one of those?" I say standing beside the couch.  
He picks the locket up out of his lap and tries to hand it back to me  
"This is yours. And yes my whole heart. It's your too." He says standing up taking my hand trying to put the locket in it.  
"I don't want that. It's nothing but a lie." I say pulling my hand away.  
"It's not though y/n. Even when I walk out of your house and everything goes back to how it was. It was never a lie." He says putting the necklace in his pocket and leaving.


	32. The end is near

Y/n pov

In the days following all of the khaos I felt so alone. I finally confided in Marie telling her everything.  
After a lot of thought she agreed to let me finish the school year online. I could even finish early and leave for college which was a added plus.  
Robyn blocked me online and won't even look my way if we happen to be outside at the same time. I can't Blame her.  
Eric hasn't reached out at all since the day he left my house which doesn't surprise me at all.  
Me and Dylan hung out a few times but it was all just too weird so that eventually stopped to.  
The end of March was here and I tried my best to stay focused on my school work and leave everything else behind.  
I would be lying if I said I didn't think about Eric. I thought about him every single day. I even picked the phone up to call him a few times but would hang up before anyone answered. It wouldn't do any good.  
After I finished my school stuff everyday I spent the rest of my time writing in my journal or drawing. Anything to keep myself busy.  
On this particular day though I decided to go back and read everything that I had written since coming to Colorado. Some of it made me laugh so hard while some of it made me blush reading about my alone time with Eric. I read about the first moment that I realized I was in love with him. Our first time being intimate with each other. All the way up to the time in the parking lot where he said he never loved me. That's when I had to stop reading because my emotions were getting the best of me. I turned to the next blank page and scribble in huge letters  
"I will love you until I take my last breath. And that is so fucked up!"  
I throw my journal on the floor laying back in my bed steadying my breathing. There's less than a month left before he plans on doing it. It will all come crashing down on me then. I almost wish he would just get it over with.. I think to myself feeling immediate shame.

Eric pov

21 days. It will all be over in 21 days.. I think to myself as I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling. While everyone else is pumped up about graduation I'm gearing up for my attack.   
My thoughts start to wonder off and I find them landing on her once again. I just can't make it stop. I haven't spoken to her in months or even seen her since she withdrew from school. I wonder how she's doing..  
It would be great if I could see her just one more time without her freaking out on me again. I really want to give her back the locket before I'm gone at least.

Dylan pov

Shit is all fucked up. Robyn hates me. Reb hates me. And I can't be around y/n without feeling awkward as fuck. I have walked through the last few months in a daze just trying to wait on it all to end. I've seen the bigger picture and I know my way out of it all is college but I'm starting to also wonder if I should have just kept to the plan with Reb.  
I should really try to talk to him again before the 20th. Even if it's just to say goodbye to him.

Y/n pov

The days just keep dragging on like time is standing still. The day is only April the 6th. I have exactly 14 days worth of school work left. And exactly 14 days until Eric is gone forever. I need to see him one last time. I need to feel his arms around me and hear his voice. I sit up in my bed and quickly run up the stairs to grab the phone.   
I dial his number and wait impatiently as it rings.  
"Hello?" I hear his mother say.  
"Hey can I talk to Eric please?" I say with desperation.  
"Who is calling?" She asks.  
"It y/n"  
"Oh well Eric isn't home right now" she says before hanging up.

Eric pov

I look up from the table as I hear my mom say my name into the phone.  
"Who was that?" I say looking at her confused as to why she told someone I wasn't here.  
"It was y/n. You said you didn't want to talk to her right?" She says back to me with a smile.  
"Oh God I forgot about saying that" I say as I stand up charging at the phone to call her back.  
"Eric is that really a good idea?" My mom says back to me looking worried.  
I keep walking towards my room not answering her.  
It's definitely not a good idea. But that's not stopping me.  
I start dialing her number before I even make it to my room.  
Just as she answers I close my door and plop down on my bed.  
"God it's good to hear your voice" I say into the phone.  
"I have to say the same to you" she says back with a small laugh.  
"So what's up?" I say wondering why she called me.  
"Eric, I just want to see you. Please." She asks pleading with me.  
"That's all you have to say. When?" I ask feeling excitement build up in me.  
"You tell me I guess" she says as excited as I'm feeling.  
"Well Friday is my birthday. And I wouldn't mind spending it with you if that's okay." I say knowing I shouldn't be feeling like this.  
"Why did I not know that your birthday is Friday?" She asks laughing.  
"I guess that's just one of the many things we never got around to talking about." I say back.  
"Can I pick you up after I get back from school Friday? Maybe like 4? We can spend the whole evening together if you want to" I say knowing I should stop this right now.  
"The sooner the better" she says back.  
"I'll see you Friday y/n." I say before hanging up the phone.  
I walk over to my desk pulling out her locket and laying it on top so I won't forget to take it to her.  
I'm going to make the most out of this night.

Y/n pov

I wasn't expecting him to agree to see me honestly. But now that he did I can't wait for Friday to get here.   
I go to my closet trying to find the perfect outfit to wear. It has started to get warmer outside so I pulled out a long sleeved dress that comes up above my knees. I want to look the best I can while I attempt to convince him into staying with me. One last time. I have to give it it my best shot.  
If he won't listen to I will give up and walk away for good.

Eric pov

The next 3 days flew by but now I'm stuck in this boring ass class waiting on the bell to ring for lunch. I tap my fingers on my desk staring at the clock watching the minutes tick by.  
I don't know how I'm going to survive the rest of the day. I just want to get to her.   
When the bell finally rings I fly out of my chair and head to put my stuff in my locker dreading going to the cafeteria to sit at the same table as Dylan and act like it isn't bothering me that we haven't talked. I guess I should work on that to in the next few days.  
Halfway through lunch I grow tired of the constant chatter and decide that I'm leaving. Fuck this school.  
I head home anticipating the night ahead. I didn't expect to hear from her ever again and she actually asked to see me.. I think to myself excitedly.  
I pull up at my house knowing no one will be there with it being the middle of the day. I go straight to the phone in the kitchen dialing her number.  
As soon as she answers the phone I feel the smile spread across my face.  
"Hey beautiful" I say leaning against the counter.  
"Aren't you supposed to be at school?" She says laughing.  
"I couldn't wait anymore. Get ready. I want to see you now" I say   
"Eric I have to shower and everything. I thought I had I few more hours!" She says whining at me.  
" I'll give you one" I say before hanging up the phone and going down to my room pulling clothes out of my closet before getting in the shower.  
When I'm done I look at the clock and see it's only been 30 minutes. Fuck it I'm going.. I think to myself as I grab my keys and head up the stairs.

Y/n pov

As soon as I hung up the phone I ran downstairs to get ready. I wanted to wash my hair but Mr impatient messed that up for me so I'll just have to make do.  
I quickly finish getting ready and pulls my Chucks on just as I hear the knock on the door.  
I open it to see him standing there smiling at me.  
Before I can speak he comes close wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a tight hug.  
"I couldn't wait to get you in my arms" he says into my ear.  
"And I couldn't wait to feel your arms around me." I say back.  
Breaking the embrace he takes my hand in his as we walk around the house to his car.  
"Where are we going?" I ask once inside the car.  
"I'm going to feed you first of all. And then.. it's a surprise" he says reaching over and grabbing my hand squeezing it.  
He continues driving as we pull into the restaurant and I see the sign.  
"You brought me to waffle house?!" I ask smiling.  
"You said it's your favorite. And I know you will eat here. I've seen it myself." He says laughing as we get out of the car.  
I ordered my usual and he went with a Philly this time.  
We talked and laughed with each other like we had never been apart the whole way through dinner.  
When we were finished Eric paid the bill and we headed back to his car.  
"So where to now?" I ask looking at him as he cranks the car.  
"Where else? I'm taking you to our spot." He says as I feel the panic rising in me.  
I don't want to start a fight but I feel like I need to tell him.  
"Eric isn't there somewhere else we could go?" I ask trying not to sound nervous.  
"What? Why?" He asks glancing over at me.  
"Because that's where me and Dylan got drunk that night. I didn't know that's where we were going until we were already there. Please don't be mad at me!" I say hoping like hell he doesn't lash out at me.  
He squeezes the steering wheel right as I watch his jaw clench before he immediately relaxes again.  
"I don't care about that anymore y/n. That will always be our spot" he says reaching over for my hand.  
I quickly find his with mine holding on tight.  
Once we turn down the dirt road he lets go of my hand and finds a place to park. We get out and he pulls the blanket out laying it on the ground and sits down   
"Come here to me" he says reaching his hand out.  
I sit down in between his knees just like our first time here.  
He wraps his arms around my waist as I lay my head back against his shoulder.  
"You should come here every now and then. Look up at the stars and think of me." He says into my ear.  
I feel my heart break at the words.  
I start to breathe heavily trying not to let my panic take over. He notices the change and holds me tighter.  
After sitting for a long time in silence he finally speaks again  
"You remember that one time we were fighting and instead of yelling at me you said we should run away together?" He asks me softly.  
I nod my head yes not able to speak.  
"Where do you think we would be right now if we had done that?" He asks while rubbing my arm gently.  
I swallow hard before I answer him hoping to swallow down the shakiness in my voice.  
"I don't really know where on the map we would be. But I know we would be together and we would be happy. The only thing that's stopping that from happening right now is you Eric." I say hoping it doesn't upset him.  
He lets his head fall forward resting his it on my shoulder.  
"I should have just said okay. Packed my shit and we should have left." He says catching me off guard.  
"It's not too late baby!" I say pulling myself out of his arms to turn around and face him.  
"Let's finish school and we can go where ever you want!" I say feeling hope for the first time.  
"Costa Rica?" He say smirking at me.  
"Anywhere you want to go I will follow you Eric!" I say taking his hands in mine.  
"I don't know y/n. I think it's too late for me." He says looking down at our hands.  
"Please listen to me! It's not late until it is. We can go anywhere, get married, have a bunch of mean ass babies!" I say smiling while trying to calm my racing heart. Is he really considering this??? 

Eric pov

Being with her always makes my mind go crazy but this is different. For the first time I may actually be pulling away from it all. Being here with her is making me think about the future for the first time in a long time.   
"Don't get all worked up y/n, it was just a thought" I say trying not to let her get her hopes up. I have a lot to think about and not much time to do it.   
I watch the smile fall from her face as she lowers her head in defeat. I can't believe after everything I have put this girl through she still loves me.   
As the sun disappears making way for the moon it starts to get cold outside.  
"You cold baby?" I say trying to pull her into me but she is stiff as a board.  
"Hey? Let's just spend the rest of the night together and then we'll go from there okay?" I say bringing her chin up with my finger forcing her to look at me.  
She nods her head looking like she is going to break at any second.  
"Let's go to your house and watch a movie or something okay?" I say looking into her eyes for any kind of response.  
She just stands up smoothing down her dress and gets in the car.  
I shouldn't have said anything. I should have kept the thoughts to myself until I figured this all out.  
I told the blanket up throwing it back in my trunk and join her in the car.  
"Look at me please" I say reaching over for her hand. She lets me take it but doesn't look my way.  
"I promise I will think about it okay." I say trying to break this mood up.  
She nods her head and I crank the car driving us back to her house.  
Once inside she goes straight to the couch slumping down looking like a ragdoll.  
"Do you want me to go?" I ask still standing by the door.  
"No. Please stay. I'm trying Eric" she says letting the tears start to fall.  
Any other time I would get angry. Storm out the door without looking back.  
Not this time though.  
I go to her wrapping my arms around her and her holding close as she falls apart in my arms.  
I let her cry without saying a word. I need to show her that I really do care. That I love her with everything in me.

Y/n pov

He held me while I got out everything that had been building up all night.   
When I finally started to calm down he pulled my face out of his revealing a huge wet spot on his shirt smeared with my mascara.  
"Sorry about that" I say wiping my face with my hands.  
"Don't apologize to me for anything y/n." He says looking at me with pure sympathy.  
He leans in and gives me a gentle kiss on the cheek before pulling away   
"Shit!" He says loudly startling me.  
"What's wrong?" I say looking at him confused.  
"I forgot to bring your necklace back. I laid it out and everything so that I wouldn't forget and I did anyways." He says looking down.  
"Well, I guess that means you will have to bring it back to me another day." I say giving him a hopeful smile.  
"We'll see. I should probably go though. It's getting late and my parents want to see me at some point today" he says standing up and pulling me with him and into a hug.  
"Happy birthday Eric" I say into his ear.  
"Thank you baby" he says smiling into my neck.  
" I love you" I say before he can pull away.  
"I love you to y/n" he says squeezing me tight one last time before he walks out the door.  
Once he is gone I go to my room and change into my pajamas before crawling into bed.   
If there's even the smallest chance that he is actually having doubts now then I have to stay on top of it.. I think to myself before I doze off.


	33. Too little, too late

Eric pov

Saturday morning I wake up from a fitful sleep. I tossed and turned all night long weighing out my options in my head. I have to get my shit together and figure out what I'm going to do before I run out of time. 10 days. That's all that's left.   
I decide to reach out to V and see if he wants to finally talk. After calling and him agreeing to meet up at the park, I get myself together and head out.  
I beat him there and get out sitting on the hood of my car waiting on him.  
I had almost decided he wasn't going to come when I saw his car pulling up.  
I walk over to meet him as he gets out of his car.  
"Whats up?" He asks dryly.  
"I just wanted to talk man. Clear the air." I say as he leans up against his car.  
"Yep. Not long now huh?" He says just as dry.  
"Actually that's one thing I wanted to talk you about V. I'm having second thoughts." I say as I pull my shades off and put them in my pocket.  
"Is that so?" He asks looking unamused.  
"Alright V I get it. Can you drop the shit and talk to me like a friend please. I'm sorry for the way I acted. I didnt know what the fuck to do. You abandoned me dude." I say trying not to let my anger show.  
He changes his stance and takes his shades off as well.  
"I get where you are coming from. We all did some fucked up shit." He says not looking at me.  
"Let's put all that shit in the past please. I could really use a friend right now V." I say pleading with him.  
He walks over and shakes my hand calling a truce.  
We stood in the parking lot talking for hours. I filled him in on anything I was feeling and got his input on it all.  
"I've been telling you for months to call this shit off man. What made you have the change of heart now?" He asks sincerely.  
"The only thing I can say for sure is that I could actually picture the future. I haven't been able to see past April in a long time and out of nowhere I could. And I'm sorry to say it to you like this but it's because of y/n" I say looking over at him to judge his response.  
"Reb she loves you. It's always been you. I caught feelings I'm not going to lie about it but she never wanted me. And I'm over that. I only have a few months left until I leave for college and that's going to open up a whole new world for me." He says looking over at me seriously.  
"You should call it off, if not for yourself then for her. I don't know of anybody else in the world that would put up with your shit like she does" he adds with a small laugh.  
"You aren't telling me anything I don't already know" I say in response.  
"But how do I just give it all up? I've worked so hard on everything for over a year. It was supposed to be my end game." I say picking at my hands.  
"Dude she's your end game. Everyone sees that expect you apparently" he says pushing himself off of his car and walking around to get in.  
"I need to go man. I told mom I'd be home for dinner. But call me if you want to talk" he says as he gets in and pulls away.  
I stand in the same spot for several minutes thinking about what he said.   
But what if that's not how this works? What if I don't go through with it and she leaves me? I think to myself.

Y/n pov

I've called Eric's house 4 times since I woke up this morning with his mom telling me he isn't home. I don't know if she's lying for him or not. I try not to let myself get upset and I start to paint my nails as a distraction.  
Not long after I finish Marie comes down bringing me the phone. I get excited knowing that it has to be him.  
"Hello!" I say happily into the phone.  
"Hey y/n. It's Dylan." I hear him say  
"Oh.. hey." I say not able to hide my disappointment.  
"I just wanted to tell you that I met up with Eric today and we worked our shit out." He says.  
"Well that's good" I reply not sure why he felt the need to tell me.  
"I think you should stay on top of this with him. He seems to be having some doubts and that's something I think only you can work through with him." He says making my mouth drop open.  
"He said that?" I say sitting up on the edge of my couch.  
"Yeah." Is his only response   
"Thanks for the info Dylan." I say into the phone before hanging up.  
I immediately dial Eric's number again and once again his mom tells me he isn't home.  
I can't stay on top of this if he won't talk to me. I decide to try a different approach.  
I quickly dial the number back and when his mom answers sounding irritated I blurt out  
"Mrs Harris I'm sorry for calling so much but Eric has my locket and I really want to get it back from him. Will you tell him that for me?" I say.  
"Yes y/n I will tell him as soon as he gets home and have him call you." She says a little less irritated.  
"Thank you " I say before hanging up.  
I wonder where he could be? I know he met with Dylan but if Dylan is home now then where the hell is Eric??

Eric pov

After I snapped out of my thoughts standing alone at the park, I decided to go for a drive and listen to music to clear my head a little and try to get some perspective on things.  
I drove all over town for hours exploring all the different roads, looking at houses and imaging me and y/n living in one like that one day.  
I want to go to her and tell her that I've decided to call it off but I need to make damn sure that's really what I want first.   
I pull in my driveway just as the sun is going down for the day. Walking in I see my mom in the kitchen washing dishes.  
"Your dinner is in the oven Eric. I really wish you would make it home not eat with us." She says as I start down the stairs.  
"Wait Eric! Y/n called and said something about a locket and you needing to return it to her? It must be important because she has been calling all day." She says as I stop and listen.  
"Thanks mom" I say heading back down the stairs to my room.  
I can't call her just yet. I have to work through all these thoughts first.  
I decide to sit down and write it all out in my journal and before I can start I end up flipping through it looking at all the hate spewed over the pages. How could she have read this and still stuck around? I think to myself as I scan the pages.   
I decide right then that I'm going to take the next couple of days to just be alone with myself and decide who or what I really am.   
I flip to the next empty page and start fillng it with all of these new emotions that I have let in. Even plans for the future. Something I never thought would go past April 20th.   
After the page is full I go back and read what I've written and there isn't a single bad thought on this page, so at the very bottom in small handwriting I write  
"But what if she leaves me"  
Before I close the journal placing it back inside my desk.  
I pick up the empty locket still laying on top and twirl it around in my fingers. My brain immediately flashes back to that night in her room when I took it off of her. The night I told her what it meant.  
Without another thought I walk out into the downstairs living room and pull down one of my senior pictures off of the shelf. I take it back into my room opening up the frame and carefully cut my face out of the picture placing it inside of the empty locket.   
"I think she'll like that" I say out loud, proud of my work.  
When I make up my mind about what I'm going to do she will get it back. Either when I tell her I'm not leaving her, or when they take it out of my pocket at the coroner's office.

Y/n pov

It's been a week since I have seen or heard from Eric. I eventually stopped calling after his mom told me that he would call me back when he was ready to. I got the hint.   
It was Friday evening and I had finished all of my school work for the week so there was nothing else to do but sit here in agony over what he was going to do. I eventually got up and went to the kitchen out of pure boredom. After glancing at the phone a million times I couldn't fight it off anymore. I started to dial his number but stopped abruptly deciding to call Dylan instead. Maybe he had some info since they are back on good terms now.  
He answered after the second ring.  
"Hey Dylan it's y/n. Sorry to call you out of nowhere." I say feeling embarrassed.  
"It's cool y/n. What's up?" He asks.  
"I was just wondering if you have talked to Eric at all.." I say feeling shitty calling him for this.  
"Well yeah, he's been at school all week" he says sounding confused.  
"Wait, have you not talked to him?" He asks.  
"No Dylan it's been a week since I've talked to him. Either his mom isn't telling him I'm calling or he just isn't returning my calls. I'm so nervous I can't think straight" I say sounding desperate.  
"What the hell? He seems completely normal if that helps any" he says back to me.  
"The only things that's going to help at this point is for me to hear it for myself. Will you please tell him to call me if you talk to him?" I plead with him.  
"Of course. I'll do it right now." He says hanging up.  
I keep the phone in my hand as I go back down to my room. I sit on my bed nervously hoping for it to ring.

Eric pov

I'm at the dinner table with my parents eating when the phone rings. I look over at my mom hoping she will answer it. I know I'm being a coward but I'm not ready to make a final decision yet. She walks over and hands me the phone as I look at her with a questioning look  
"Who is it?" I mouth at her.  
"Dylan" she says as she walks back to sit at the the table.  
I stand up and go downstairs to my room before saying anything.  
"Hey V what's up?" I ask  
"Dude call y/n. She is freaking out. I didn't know you haven't talked to her in a week. What the fuck man?" He says catching me off guard.  
"I'll call her when I'm ready to. Will you please tell her that. Let her know that I'm okay and I'm still thinking shit through and that I will call when I can." I say and hang up the phone before he can bitch at me more.  
I really hate that everyone is always in my damn business.. I think to myself as I go back upstairs to finish dinner.  
I spent all day Saturday and Sunday in my room alone going over everything in my mind for the final time.   
As the sun goes down on Sunday I feel like I finally have my mind made up and I'm ready to talk to y/n. Once I decide for sure in my head I feel like I can breathe for the first time since this back and forth shit started.   
I walk upstairs and grab the phone and dial her number as I head back down to my room.  
"Hello?" Marie answers.  
"Hey is y/n around?" I say back  
"Who is this?" She says rather rudely.  
"It's Eric" I say back feeling impatient.  
There is a long pause before I hear her knocking on the door.  
"Eric is on the phone!" She yells out.  
Within half a second I hear her voice.  
"Eric?!" She says excitedly.  
"Yeah baby it's me" I say smiling into the phone.  
"Why haven't you called me? I've been calling you for days!" She says sounding more happy than sad.  
"I just had to get my shit together. Can I come over tomorrow night? We need to talk. And I of course need to bring you your locket." I say still smiling.  
"Of course. Come right now if you want to!" She responds   
"I'll come over after dinner tomorrow night. I love you y/n" I say back to her.  
"I love you to Eric." She says before hanging up.  
The next morning I wake up feeling like shit. I haven't had a full night's sleep in almost a week and it's starting to take a toll on me.  
But I get to see y/n tonight.. I think to myself as I pull myself out of bed smiling.  
I shower and get ready for the day and tell my parents bye as I head out the door.  
"It's going to be a good day" I say out loud. Really feeling it all over my body.   
I get through school without any mishaps and drive home still on cloud 9. I can't wait to see the look on her face when I tell her.  
I go inside and down to my room immediately picking up her necklace and putting inside my pocket so I wouldn't forget it this time. I lay back on my bed waiting for my mom to finish cooking dinner and I doze off.

Y/n pov

By 6 Monday evening I was a ball of nerves. I knew he would he coming over any minute. By the way he sounded I felt like he was going to tell me what I longed to hear. But Eric is so hard to read. I can't let myself get excited.  
By the time 7 rolled around I was on high alert. Every single sound made me think he had pulled up.  
By 8 I was losing hope that he was coming at all and I started to cry.   
Close to 9 I started to panic. Tomorrow is April 20th. What if he decided that he was doing it and that he isn't going to tell me now.  
I started to have flashbacks of my nightmare where he was in the school shooting. I clenched at my chest trying to calm my racing heart.  
By 10 I had come to the full realization that he wasn't coming and decided to take matters into my own hands.   
I quietly crept up the stairs hoping not to wake anyone. I dug through Marie's purse until I found her car keys.  
I slowly opened the front door sneaking out without a sound. I ran to the car getting in and starting it. It's been so long since I've driven I don't know how this will go but I don't see another choice.  
I carefully back out and start the drive to Eric's house. I have it memorized by now so that's not a problem.   
I nervously sit up straight in the seat trying to concentrate on the road and not let my emotions get the best of me.  
I turn onto a winding road that leads to his neighborhood and see the car coming my way on my lane before I can react.  
I grip the wheel as Marie's car leaves the road and hits a embankment starting to roll. When it stops I feel nothing. I can't lift my head up off of the steering wheel and the lower half of my body is numb. I fight to keep my eyes open hoping that someone would be coming to help soon but eventually they close. As I take my last breath I see flashes of me and Eric together.


	34. No goodbye is harder than no goodbye.

Eric pov

I sit up in my bed stretching before I glance at the window and see that it's pitch black outside. I look down at my watch and see that it's after 10.  
"Fuck!" I yell out as I jump up and run up the stairs.  
"Eric where are you going? It's a school night!" My mom calls out to me.  
"Mom I will be back soon I swear. Why didn't you wake me up?" I yell back trying not to be angry with her.  
I get in my car and throw it in reverse barreling out of my driveway.  
"God she's probably so pissed at me right now. I can't believe I fell asleep!" I yell out loud as I grip my steering wheel tighter.  
I get to the end of my road and turn off but before I can go any further I see cop cars everywhere blocking the road.  
"Fucking great" I yell out again.  
A officer walks towards my car so I roll the window down to talk to him.  
"Son your gonna have to go another way. This road won't be opened for a few more hours. There's been a bad wreck" he says leaning into my window.  
"Can I please just pass? I'm in a huge hurry and the other way around will take me so much longer" I say pleading with him.  
"Look kid, someone lost their life here tonight. I don't think that anything you have going on is more important than that." He says as he tips his hat at me and walks away.  
"Fuuuuuuck" I growl out as I turn around heading back towards my house.  
I'll just have to call her and go straight to her in the morning. Hopefully she won't be too pissed.. I think to myself as I pull back into my driveway.  
I run in the door and grab the phone off of the wall and run down to my room closing the door and dialing her number.  
"Hello?" Marie finally answers after it rang for forever. I know I woke her up.  
"Marie I'm so sorry for calling so late but I really need you to put y/n on the phone. I swear I will make it up to you if I woke the baby!" I say hoping to calm the situation.  
She lets out a long huff and I hear her walking down the stairs.  
"Uh.. I don't know where she is Eric" she says sounding confused.  
"She isn't there?" I ask matching her confusion.  
"No and God damnit my car is gone!" She yells out before she says  
"Eric hold on a seond someone is beeping in" and I hear the phone click over.  
Where the hell could she have gone in Marie's car? Thats when it hits me.   
"No" is the only word I can make come out.  
Marie switches back over and I hear the nervousness in her voice.  
"Eric, y/n has been in a accident. You may want to meet me at the hospital." She says before hanging up.  
I jump up on my feet running back out to my car and flying down the road back to the police cars. I pull over and jump out of the car running towards them in a panic.  
The officer sees me coming and quickly walks over to stop me.  
"You again? This is a police scene son you can't cross that line. Go back to your car please" he says pushing me back.  
"Was it a teenage girl?" I scream out at him.  
"I can't tell you anything about this son. If you think it's someone you know I suggest meeting the family at the hospital." He says looking into my eyes with sympathy.  
I run back to my car and floor it back the other way taking the long route to the hospital not by my choice.  
I finally make it there after the longest drive of my life and see Marie sitting in a chair with her face covering her hands.  
"Please no" I say as I stop moving.  
She looks up at me and I can see it all over her face.  
"She's gone Eric. There was nothing they could do to save her." I hit the ground at her words as the room started spinning. It felt like I was on the outside of my body watching everything happen.  
Marie came over to me dropping to her knees in front of me and wrapping me in her arms.  
She held me while I shook violently trying to not be sick.  
"Eric why don't you call your mom to come and get you. You don't need to be driving like this" she says but I can't make myself move from the floor.  
She walks over to the nurses desk and I hear her ask them to please call my mother and let her know what's happened and to come get me.  
After she sits back down in the chair I force myself up and walk over to stand in front of her.  
"Can I see her." I say through my sobs.  
"Are you sure?" She asks also crying loudly again.  
I nod my head in response wiping my face with the back of my hand.  
She leads me down the hall into a room where the curtain is pulled closed.  
"Can I go in alone" I say starting to shake again.  
She places her arm on my shoulder and nods her head walking back down the hall.  
I hesitate before pulling the curtain back and walking in.  
I stand by the wall looking at her laying there so still.  
I eventually make my way to the side of the bed looking at her for any signs of life.  
This can't be real. This has got to be a bad dream.. I think to myself as I stare down at the body of the love of my life laying there.  
I place my hand on the side of her face rubbing my thumb over the huge bruise on her cheek.  
"You are are so beautiful baby" I say through my tears.  
"I love you so much y/n. How am I supposed to do this without you?" I say as my words turn into sobs again.  
I continue staring down at her lifeless body as I shove my hands inside my pockets not knowing what else to do with them. That's when I feel the locket. I pull it out and twirl it in my fingers before undoing the clasp and placing it around her neck. Once it's on I situate it to where it's hanging above her no longer beating heart.  
Not wanting to leave her I lay down beside her on the hospital bed laying my arm across her chest and crying into her shoulder.  
"Eric" I hear my mom say from the hallway but I can't answer her.  
She walks in the room and sees me and comes to my side.  
"Oh honey I'm so sorry" she says rubbing my back.  
"But we have to go son. They are waiting to take her away." She says as sympathetic as she can.  
"I can't leave her mom! I was never going to leave her!" I cry out.  
"I know Eric. I'm so sorry you are hurting" she says before I cut her off  
"Why didn't you wake me up? She was coming to me because I didn't show up. You should have woke me up!" I yell out still clinging to her body.  
"Eric let me take you home" she says trying to pull me up by my arm with no luck.  
"Mrs Harris can I talk to him" I hear the voice say from the hallway.  
My mom looks down at me with sympathy before leaving the room.  
"Reb it's me. I can't make myself come in there so you are just going to have to listen to me." I hear Dylan say.  
"V I cant do this!" I cry out in agony.  
He enters the room stopping beside the wall.  
"God..." He says with tears running down his cheeks.  
"Reb you have to let her go now. I know how hard it's going to be for you but they are waiting on us to leave before they take her away" he says turning his head so he doesn't have to look at her.  
"I wasn't going to do it Dylan. I was supposed to go tell her. But I fell asleep and now she's gone" I say as I start to sob again.  
"You need to tell her now then man. I can leave if you want but they aren't going to give you much longer so you need to do it fast." He says wiping his face with his hand.  
"Please stay V" I say as I stand up and lean down into her face.  
"I wasn't going to leave you baby. I couldn't wait to tell you. We were going to get married and have beautiful mean ass kids. A little girl that looked just like her mom and a little boy who looked just like me." I say as I bent down to kiss her forehead.  
"You were it for me. And I will regret every time I hurt you" I say as my tears start to fall onto her face.  
"Du Hast mein ganzes Herz" I say as I turn to walk out of the room.

Two days later I watch the sun come up as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. I will finally see her again today. But unlike all the other times I'm full of dread.   
It's barely 6am when I get up quickly putting on my shoes and grabbing my keys.  
No one is awake yet except for me.  
I get in my car and drive in silence.  
When I pull up at my destination I feel the lump starting to form in my throat.  
I open my trunk and pull out the blanket and lay it in down on the ground in the usual spot and lean my back against my car.  
When the memories start to flood my mind I lay down on the blanket curling into a ball wrapping my arms around myself.  
I don't fight it as I let the pain wash over me.  
I squeeze my eyes closed and I see her. Locking eyes with me at the table in the mall, blurting out how she thought I had the prettiest eyes before running away, our first kiss outside of her door, here on this blanket under the stars, our first time together and how I knew I loved her shortly after, everything poured across my mind like a video even up until our last day together. My birthday.   
After I don't have any tears left to cry I fold the blanket back up placing it safely in my trunk for next time.  
I make the drive back home and trying to clear my head I reach down and cut my CD player on as "Buck Dich" starts to blare out of the speaks. I smile to myself taking it as a sign from her.   
I let it play loudly repeating it every time it would end not wanting to lose the feeling of being close to her if only in my mind.  
When I pull up my mom opens the door walking out on the porch  
"Eric I was worried when I got up and you were gone" she says walking towards me.  
"I'm okay mom. I just went for a drive" I say walking past her and into the house.  
I walk down to my room and pull out appropriate clothes for the funeral, but quickly change my mind going for the phone.  
"Hello" I hear her say.  
"Marie, it's Eric. I know this is horrible timing but I left a shirt there. Do you think it would be okay if I came and got it?" I say trying my hardest not to let my voice break.  
"I think that would be okay Eric. I have something for you to." She says.  
"I'll be over in a few" I say hanging up the phone and heading back to my car.  
I look at my watch and see that it's 10 already. Only 3 hours left. This is one time that I want time to stand still.. I think to myself as I make what will be my last drive to her house.  
I pull up and walk to the door knocking and realize that I have only used this door once or twice in all of these months.  
When Marie opens the door she immediately pulls me in for a hug which starts my tears again.  
"Do you want me to come down with you to look for your shirt?" She asks after letting me go.  
"No if that's okay" I respond quietly.  
"That's okay. I left what I wanted to give you on the bed. Take your time Eric" she says as I start towards the stairs.  
When I get to the bottom I see that her door is closed and I so badly want her to be on the other side of it. But I know she's not.  
I slowly open the door and am instantly hit with her smell. It almost brings me to my knees and I hold onto the door frame for support.  
I quickly walk over to her closet and start pushing through her clothes trying to find my shirt but it isn't there. I see a small pile of clothes on the floor and I move them around looking but still nothing.  
I walk over to the bed looking for what Marie had left and all I see is a notebook. Is that it? I think to myself as I pick it up and start to flip through pages.  
It's her journal? I had no idea she kept one.. I think as I sit back on her pillows. Scanning the pages.  
I get to the one where she arrived in Colorado and start reading instead of scanning. I laugh at some of the things she writes about but most of it makes me feel like shit. I force myself to keep reading even though the words of how much I hurt her are breaking my heart. I come to where she talks about the night we spent here in her room together after we left Dylan and Robyn. She mentions stealing my shirt with no intentions of giving it back and I smile to myself wondering where the hell she put it, as I keep reading.  
"Now it's like he is here with me every night and I'm laying my head on his shoulder instead of my pillow"  
I sit straight up and reach behind me pulling the covers back revealing her pillow with my Rammstein shirt as a pillow case. I grab it and hold it to my face breathing in her scent deeply before pulling the shirt off.  
After finishing the entry and turning the page I see what makes my heart race.  
In huge letters written sloppily across the page I see  
"I will love him until I take my last breath"  
I see the tears falling onto the pages before I realize I'm crying.  
I lift the notebook to my chest clutching onto it like it's her.  
I walk into her bathroom to clean my face off before going back upstairs and I see everything just as she had left it. I pick up a bottle of body spray breathing it in and immediately recognize the smell. I tuck the bottle under my shirt now in my arms with her journal and head up the stairs.  
After a quick "see ya later" I get back in my car and head home to get ready.  
Now back in my room I place the bottle and her journal safely in the drawer of my desk and take my shirt off putting the Rammstein shirt on in it's place. She would have liked this.. I think to myself sadly.  
After I'm all ready I meet my parents upstairs and we ride together.  
My mom tried to make small talk the whole way there but I sat quietly just wanting to get this over with.  
When we arrived at the funeral home I didn't recognize many faces and figured there must be a lot of people from Alabama here.  
I spot Dylan, Nate, Brooks, Michelle, and Robyn standing in the parking lot.  
I tell my parents I'll find them later and head over to them.  
"Hey" I say walking into the circle.  
"Hey man" Dylan says as he pats me on the back awkwardly.  
"Hey Eric" Robyn says looking at the ground.  
"She would he glad that you were here" I say as I feel the lump in my throat starting to form.   
I lift my chin up looking at the sky trying to fight it off.  
"She came into out lives fast as hell and she left the same" Nate says trying to break the silence.  
"Don't do that." I say tilting my head back down and looking at him.  
"I can't stand hear and listen to everyone talk about her like you loved her so much. Every single one of us abandoned her at one point or another." I say feeling my anger building up.  
Before anyone can say anything else I turn and walk away heading inside the building.  
I see Marie and her husband at the front standing beside her opened casket. The walk way turns into a tunnel as I feel the room start to spin.  
I feel someone holding me up from behind and turn my head quickly to see Dylan.  
"I've got you Eric" he says while letting me lean on him.  
He starts to walk towards the front and I freeze in place.  
"I don't want to do this V" I say as the lump turns to tears.  
"I know you don't. But you are going to regret it" he says leading me up the aisle.  
When we finally make our way to the front Marie comes over wrapping her arms around me.  
"She loved you so much Eric" she says into my shoulder.  
I can't respond without losing my shit so I just stand there letting her hold onto me as everyone stares at us with sympathetic looks.  
When she finally let's go and walks away Dylan starts to lead me forward again. When I reach the side of the casket I can't make myself look down at her.  
"I'm gonna give you a minute but I'm just going right over there by your parents okay?" Dylan says as I grip the side of her cold metal box.  
When I'm alone beside her I finally find the courage to look down.  
She looks like she's sleeping.  
Wearing the same dress she wore on my birthday and her hair curled around her face.  
When I see the locket around her neck I let my head fall forward trying to contain the sob wanting to escape.  
I reach up and touch her chin and run my finger over her lips. I bend down and kiss her cheek as I feel myself losing my grip on myself and lay my forehead against hers crying.  
"We were you supposed to be together baby! Why did you leave me?" I say into her face wanting a response more than anything.  
I feel a hand on my back but I can't break my contact with her. I can't leave her.  
"Eric come on man let's go" I hear Dylan say behind me.  
"No! I'm not leaving her!" I yell out to him as I hear Marie start to cry loudly but I can't control my emotions anymore. It's all too much.  
" Eric you have to calm down you are upsetting everyone" I hear my mom say from beside me.  
I take my forehead off of hers kissing her one final time before I fall to my knees in front of the casket.  
"Come on man I've got you" Dylan says as he lifts me up off of the ground by my arm. My dad comes around to the other side of me and they walk me to the car.  
"Please I can't leave her here alone!" I cry out loudly once we reach the car, fighting them to get back to her.  
A battle I wouldn't win as I'm forced into the back seat of my parents car and driven away from her forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of this one guys! I hope everyone liked it and you didn't cry as hard as I did writing the ending! I may possibly do a few requests if anything jumps out at me so feel free to leave any in the comments here!


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